


The Good Life

by xxfergiexx



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Drama, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-23
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:06:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfergiexx/pseuds/xxfergiexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is about Changmin and Yunho and their life as Dong Bang Shin ki, which has its ups and downs but they learn they always have each other. This is their journey to falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first Changmin/Yunho Fic

_**[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/00086z5d/) ** _

_Heart pounding..._    
  
  
 _Stomach clenching..._    
  
  
 _Palms sweating..._    
  
  
Shim Changmin kept his head down as five SM Entertainment representatives scrutinized him.  One of them demanded he face them like a man.  Changmin gulped inwardly and looked up.    
  
  
"Alright, you've got a lot of potential but you've got to work on this shyness--"    
  
  
The executive sitting next to him piped in, "I think that will work to his advantage with the female fans."    
  
  
The man that spoke considered this. "Well, maybe. Your height and vocal range is very impressive. You need to work on your dancing skills though. We have an idea which group of boys we want to team you up with, but we're going to give it another week of training to be absolutely sure."    
  
  
Changmin nodded, eyes averting to the floor again. Dismissed from the room, he bowed respectively as he walked out.   When he finally made it out of the conference room, Changmin laid his head against the wall and took a deep breath.   
  
  
Three weeks ago he had “auditioned” for SM entertainment after a talent scout found him at his school.  His mother was urging him to give it a chance, while his father gave him ear fulls of complaints about the corruption in the entertainment industry.   
  
  
Changmin honestly wondered if this was the right career path for him.  A shy boy not comfortable in his own skin doesn't fit the image of a pop idol in his mind.    They told him he needs to work on his dancing...he'll just have to work extra hard during dance practice. But what could he possibly do about his timid personality?   
  
  
Sighing profoundly, Changmin walked to the dance studio and started stretching out his limbs.  He figured some extra practice couldn’t hurt.    As he was getting ready to turn on the stereo, two boys strolled into the studio.  Changmin already knew one of the boys…his name was Kim Junsu, an obnoxiously cheerful guy with a unique laugh.  The boy who came in with Junsu had his face obscured by a baseball cap, but there was anger radiating from him.     
  
  
Junsu said something to the other boy then made his way to the stereo.  Changmin backed away quickly to stand off to the side.  He wasn’t scared of those boys, but he knew he couldn’t match Junsu’s dance skills.    
  
  
The moment the music started, the angry boy began dancing with a vigor that froze Changmin to his spot…he couldn’t stop looking at him.  Throwing his baseball cap behind him in frustration, the other boy continued a combination of popping and gliding moves.     
  
  
Changmin eyed the boy’s face and felt a wave of unexpected kinship take ahold of him.  The passion written all over the dancer’s countenance drew Changmin in and made him walk in a zombie-like state to stand in the middle of the dance floor.  The boy stopped dancing immediately and signaled Junsu to stop the music.    
  
  
 _What the hell?! What the fuck am I doing?!_ Changmin kept chanting to himself as he approached the unnamed dancer, who stared back at him stoically.    
  
  
“Hello,” Changmin said timidly. “I don’t think we ever met before…I’m Changmin.”    
  
The other boy continued to stare at him for several seconds before answering, “I’m Yunho.”   Changmin felt a swarm of affection towards that name.  
  
  
 _Yunho. Yun…Ho…Yunnie. Yes, Yunnie…I like that one._   This Yunho had striking eyes…eyes that seep into your soul and leave nothing untouched.   
  
  
Unable to handle their intensity, Changmin looked down while saying, “You’re an amazing dancer. I don’t think I’ll ever reach your level –“    
  
  
Yunho huffed and nodded his head in a mocking manner. “Thanks.” Then he brushed passed the younger boy in an arrogant stride and gestured for Junsu to follow him out of the room.   
  
  
Feelings slightly hurt, Changmin thought maybe interrupting the older boy during his dance ritual wasn’t the wisest move. Before walking out of the dance room, Junsu threw an apologetic look at Changmin.  Still slightly upset, Changmin decided to take it for what it was and hoped their next meeting will be better.    
  
  
He had a dream that night in which Yunho was laughing at him, making fun of his dancing skills.  When the alarm clock rang at 6am, Changmin woke up startled at the tears in the corner of his eyes.  Why did he care so much what this Yunho thought of him?  He barely knew the guy!    
  
  
  
That morning, dance practice was first on the schedule.  Changmin walked into the dance room a little nervous since he knew he needed to work extra hard from now on.  Many boys were stretching, but his eyes caught on an effeminate boy in the center of the floor who was trying (and failing miserably) at a dance move.  Changmin felt slightly better that he wasn’t the worst one in the room.    
  
  
“Jaejoong!” A familiar voice echoed across the room.  An electric shock ran quickly through his body as Yunho bumped into him to run over to that awkward dancer.  When Yunho pulled that boy into a big bear hug, Changmin frowned and backed himself in the corner of the room to observe them.  They seemed very comfortable with each other, but the way they stared at each other made Changmin feel uncomfortable.    
  
  
Before he could contemplate the reason for this strange feeling, their dance instructor came in and announced that Yunho will be in charge of today’s class since he already learned the rest of the routine on his own. Excitement flooded through him at the thought of learning from the talented dancer.             
  
  
Yunho parted from Jaejoong and stood with this back to the class and began breaking down the moves for all of us to follow.  After two hours of non-stop dancing, Changmin fell to his knees, breathing hard.     
  
  
One of the trainees got fed up and started cussing.  “Fuck this. Yunho, I’m outta here! This is too much, man!”      
  
  
As the aggravated boy left the room, everyone got silent and stared at Yunho, wondering what he’ll do.  The star dancer was trying to control his breathing, but looked ready to snap.  Scrutinizing all the trainees with a glare, Yunho’s eyes met with Changmin’s.    
  
  
The younger boy gulped inwardly when Yunho approached him slowly…his own capability of holding eye contact this long amazed him.    
  
  
Crouching to his level, Yunho whispered in tone threaded with anger.  “Listen well, little prince, if this isn’t what you want to do with your life then the door is right behind you. Better leave now and save yourself the trouble of having to do that later.”    
  
  
Mouth agape and hurt shining is his big brown eyes, Changmin was speechless. With a self-satisfied expression, Yunho straightened up and stormed out the door.       
  
  
After enduring a few minutes of deadly silence in the dance room, the hurt inside him faded as anger settled in.  The truth in Yunho’s words echoed in his head and quickly pissed him off.   Standing up in frustration, Changmin stormed out the door too, leaving the trainees behind in shock.  Spotting Yunho down the corridor talking to some girly-looking boy had him feeling angrier.   
  
  
 _What is it with this guy befriending feminine guys?_     Yunho saw Changmin walking towards him and so whispered something to the boy next him.  Glancing at Changmin briefly, the pretty boy smiled at Yunho and walked away.    
  
  
He stopped in front of Yunho with a determined stance and said, “Who are you to tell me something like that? You don’t know me! I may have fallen into this business by chance, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here! You’ll see…I’ll _prove_ to you how much I want this, hyung!”    
  
  
Saying all this in one breath left Changmin panting and nervous to how this rude boy would react.    
  
  
As Yunho stared at him sternly and asked, “And what gives you the right to talk to me like that, little prince?”    
  
  
The death march began playing in Changmin’s head.  But unable to contain himself, he muttered sarcastically, “So sorry to offend, _your highness_.”    
  
  
The stern shape of Yunho’s lips suddenly morphed into a small smile.  This drew Changmin’s eyes to the small mole just above his bottom lip.  _How cute_!    
  
  
Completely disgusted with his inner response, Changmin glared back at the now friendly face.   “I don’t see what’s so funny.  You’re the one that keeps calling me a ‘prince’.”  Changmin added mockingly, “Well, if I’m just a prince then you’re the king, right?”    
  
  
The small smile morphed again, this time into an open-mouthed laugh that literally sounded like HA-HA.  Startled, Changmin took a step back.  Yunho took a step with him and leaned forward to peer into his face.     
  
  
“Well, aren’t you just full of surprises!”  Grinning widely, Yunho pinched his cheek.    
  
  
Changmin, in all honesty, should disembowel the boy in front of him for making that move.  He was not one for tactile actions unless in the mood for it…and he was mostly definitely not in the mood for it now!  But all Changmin can focus on at that moment is the crooked teeth revealed by the endearing grin on Yunho’s face.  _So cute_!   Changmin mentally shook himself.  _Alright, that’s the second time in the past 3 minutes I’ve thought the word_ cute _.  Not. Acceptable._      
  
  
Still chuckling, Yunho slugged an arm around his shoulders and walked him back into the dance room.  Secretly, he loved that Yunho warmed up to him so easily…no way in hell was he going to let that show though.    
  
  
A week passed and Changmin hung with Yunho whenever said hyung wasn’t being a social butterfly with everyone in the company.  Occasionally they would pass each other in the hallway and Yunho would ruffle his hair and continue to call him prince.  The maknae pretended this pissed him off, of course.     
  
  
Also, during this week, Changmin met the boy Yunho hugged that one day, Kim Jaejoong.  Jaejoong was kind of a punk who was completely aware of his beauty, and craved the attention of others around him.   He annoyed Changmin greatly…and it’s not because Jaejoong seemed to thrive on the affection Yunho bestowed upon him on a regular basis.  No, absolutely not!      
  
  
Collapsing on the dance floor after a two hour dance practice he set for himself, Changmin made a mental check list of the other boys he came across this week.    
  
Kim Heechul…very cool if not a bit girly at times.  
  
Park Yoochun…a melancholy boy who lived in America for a few years…has potential to be cool.  
  
Cho Kyunhyun…practically the same age…definitely a potential best friend. Park Leeteuk…very cool hyung.  
  
Lee Eunhyuk…hilariously funny.  
  
Choi Siwon…definitely someone he can look up to…kind of reminds him of—      
  
  
Suddenly he felt a presence standing over him.  Without opening his eyes, he caught a whiff of a fresh, sweet scent and he knew it was Yunho.    
  
  
“Hey there, little prince…practicing again?”    
  
  
Sitting up straight, Changmin smiled slightly and nodded.    
  
  
“You’ve gotton really good, really fast.  I’m proud of you.”   Yunho said this so genuinely that Changmin’s stomach flip-flopped.   
  
  
“Thank you, hyung.”    
  
  
Grinning, the older boy said, “You know you don’t have to call me ‘hyung’ in private.” Then he winked.    
  
  
Oh now he’s done it! Changmin’s cheeks reddened but he replied,  
  
  
“Alright… _Yunho_ …what’s up?”    
  
  
“I am here to tell you that Lee Sooman wants to see us in his office right now.”    
  
  
“What for?”    
  
  
“A big announcement.” Then he held out a hand to pull Changmin to his feet. He couldn’t help the wide smile on his face as Yunho continued to hold his hand all the way to Lee Sooman’s office.  
  
  
The moment he walked through the door with Yunho his eyes landed on his father then slid to the other three boys in the room: Junsu, Yoochun, and Jaejoong, as well as four unknown older men who Changmin assumed are the other boys’ fathers.  
  
  
He knew then he was going to be put in a group with all these boys. And when Lee Sooman started talking his suspicions were confirmed.  
  
  
Looking down, he noticed Yunho hadn't let go of his hand, so he gave it a light squeeze. Yunho glanced at him briefly and squeezed back. Changmin sighed inwardly.  Anxiety settled in as Lee Sooman passed out copies of the contract.  
  
  
“We think the name ‘Dong Bang Shin Ki’ – ‘Gods of the East’, would suit you five very well.” All of the boys scrunched up their noses at the name, which made the SM manager laugh a little.  
  
  
“A lawyer and I will meet with each boy and his parent in a private room now to discuss the terms of the contract and you can decide now or in a few days if you would like to sign on with us.”  
  
  
And the rest was history. All the boys and their parents ended up agreeing to the terms of the contract. Though Changmin’s father was reluctant to agree, in the end, he let his son pursue this new dream of his.   
  
  
When it was Changmin’s turn to sign the contract, a jumble of emotions filled him…anxiety was the one that stood out the most though. He looked up from the contract briefly and made eye contact with Yunho, who smiled gently at him.  His mind made up, he signed the contract with vigor.  Everything will be alright as long as he had Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
Everything that happened from then on was a blur for Changmin…a big, surreal blur.  Every substantial moment between the five members was documented on any Dong Bang Shin Ki website/forum/video channel for fans to scrutinize and judge.  But the real story is what happened off-screen, off-stage. Things are not always what they appear to be…especially in the entertainment business. And in this business, the company would give them an image and they had to play the role of that image. Thus is the life of any pop idol.  
  
  
  
The image chosen for Changmin in the beginning was ‘cute’, which nauseated him to no end.  No way, not now and not ever, did Shim Changmin consider himself to be cute.  He seemed to break out of his shy personality somewhat and preferred to show his evil, sarcastic self instead to the cameras.  
  
  
Jaejoong was given the image of ‘pretty and mysterious’.  He had also been dubbed band umma, but in reality the only reason Jaejoong would fit that role is because of his feminine beauty, and the fact that he can cook.  Other than that, he’s an annoying bastard who was hell bent on making Changmin’s life miserable…this being said in the most affectionate tone possible of course.  
  
  
Junsu, also born to annoy him with his loud personality, quickly took to the role of ‘cute’ far better than Changmin ever did, which was fine by him.  This gave him more leeway to act snarky and annoy the hell out of Junsu instead.  
  
  
Yoochun quickly became the maknae’s close buddy. His role in the group was to be ‘sexy and funny’, which suited him nicely when he wasn’t being a moody bitch about things.  Yoochun was prone to bouts of depression, which he (and Yunho) tried continuously to pull him out of but the only ones that succeed in doing that were Junsu and Jaejoong.  
  
  
Last but not least, Yunho…Yunho was given a ‘manly’ role that stuck with him through every concept, since everyone had voted him to be their leader. He was dubbed band appa to Jaejoong’s band umma persona.   
  
Changmin can’t help but laugh and think Jaejoong and Yunho should switch roles.  If anyone cared to look deep enough into Jung Yunho they’d only find stuffing and a big pile of mush.  That ‘tough guy’ act he pulled when Changmin first met him was just that…an act.  The guy sleeps with a deer plushie named Bambi, for Disney’s sake!  
  
  
However, Yunho insisted on taking care of his members to the point of neglecting himself.  So over the years, Changmin had taken it upon himself to take care of Yunho in his own subtle way. So subtle in fact that he often wondered if Yunho was aware of the maknae’s behind-the-scenes attentiveness to his needs.  
  
  
Now, an odd aspect of this ‘image’ business was the various couples created within the group for the sake of fan service.  This seemed completely absurd to Changmin. Why did he have to justify his relationship with every member and put on fabricated displays for the sake of their entertainment? But whatever, he played along…even enjoyed it on occasion. However, one couple in particular got out of control and quickly became the most popular pairing: YunJae.   
  
  
Jaejoong ate up the attention it gave him and learned how to get their audience worked up and salivating for more ‘YunJae’. He knew just what to say, just how to stare at Yunho, just how to act, to play his role like an academy award winner.  
  
  
Yunho, though, was either oblivious or played along because anything that required touchie-feelie interaction with his members had Jung Yunho’s seal of approval.  Even Changmin found it amusing sometimes…especially always standing in between them. Any disapproval he had about the situation he kept to himself.   
  
  
But soon that YunJae stage play became real when they were home, and it had Changmin’s guts twisting in knots and he didn’t understand why.  What does he care if Yunho and Jaejoong fuck? Why should it even matter that he can hear Yunho’s pleading for ‘more’ and Jaejoong’s grunts in the middle of the night and can’t sleep after that?  Maybe it’s because he has a sick, twisted obsession with wanting Yunho’s full attention on him only…Changmin would rather shoot himself in the foot than let that need show on his face or worse, risk the leader finding out.  Changmin wasn’t _jealous_ that’s for sure. He wasn’t even _gay_. Then again, he didn’t think Yunho and Jaejoong were either.   
  
  
Since none of them were allowed to go public with whom they date, inter-band relations were their only option especially with being on the road all the time.  Yoochun and Junsu even fool around sometimes.   
  
Changmin refused to do that with any of them though.  The only man he’d even consider touching him that way was Yunho…and hell if he knew the reason why that is though.  
  
  
So Changmin found himself alone many nights. During the day, he played video games with Junsu, goofed around with Yoochun, one-touched Jaejoong in to next year (and got hit back for his efforts) while he cooked something delicious, and spent time with Yunho…the last one being his favorite, of course.  
  
  
He can recall one morning during the winter of 2007, Changmin walked into the kitchen grumpy from hunger, but when he spotted Jaejoong making breakfast his face broke out in a wide grin.   
  
Sneaking up on the older man, Changmin squeezed his ribs hard.  Jaejoong jumped and some of the scrambled eggs he was flipping around in the frying pan flew in air and landing on floor.  
  
  
“Changmin!! What the hell? You clean up this mess now!”  
  
  
“As if! I did nothing wrong…I’m so hungry, hyung!”  
  
  
Jaejoong mutters a few curses under his breath as Yoochun and Junsu sleepily walking into the kitchen.  
  
  
“What’s all the yelling about?” Junsu asked hoarsely.  
  
  
“Changmin’s being a bastard.”  
  
  
“Jaejoong’s being a bitch.”  
  
  
Yoochun and Junsu sighed, used to their constant arguing, and sat down on the table waiting for the food.  
  
  
“Is Yunho still not awake? Honestly…” Jaejoong sighed as he set the food on the table. “I know I overworked him last night but…”  
  
  
YooSu couple rolled their eyes and responded, “We heard...”  
  
  
Changmin stayed quiet and dropped the fork in his hand, suddenly losing his appetite.  
  
  
“Yo, maknae, go wake him,” Jaejoong ordered begrudgingly. “For some reason, you’re the only that can get him to wake up without a fog horn going off in his ear.”  
  
  
“Call me _hyung_ first.”  
  
  
“Damn it, Min. Go wake him up!”  
  
  
Changmin coughed and turned his head away arrogantly.   
  
  
Jaejoong sighed with a small smile on his face. “Fine. Go wake Yunho up, _hyung_ …please.”  
  
  
“Ahhhhhh…words that warm a poor maknae’s heart,” Changmin said as he placed a hand over his heart dramatically.  Junsu and Yoochun chuckled.  
  
  
As he walked out the kitchen though, he felt the lead singer’s eyes on him. Sometimes he got the feeling Jaejoong doesn’t like him to spend time alone with Yunho.   _Whatever_ , Changmin shrugged the thought off quickly as he entered YunJae’s room.  
  
  
Closing the door behind him, Changmin made his way over to Yunho’s sleeping form and laid down next to him.  The maknae couldn’t help but chuckle at their ‘manly’ leader’s image once again. Yunho currently had Bambi in his arms with a mouth hanging wide open, drooling on the pillow. Rolling his eyes affectionately, Changmin started his morning ritual (that no one knew about) of waking leader-sshi up.  
  
  
First he took away Bambi…well more like pulled it out of the boy’s death grip.  Yunho began to whimper and clutching aimlessly for his precious stuffed animal. Slowly, Changmin placed himself in the flailing arms and the leader abruptly stopped whimpering.  Yunho began nuzzling his face into what he thought was Bambi’s neck.  Changmin’s heart warmed. Who could resist such cuteness?  
  
  
Sighing, he ran a hand down Yunho’s side and started lightly tickling him while blowing in his ear oh so gently.  Yunho began giggling deeply and squirming in his arms. His eyes finally opened and the first thing he saw was Changmin’s big brown eyes. “Bambi?”  
  
  
  
 _Back in 2006, the five of them sat down with the man that will be directing their video ‘Balloons’. He suggested to them a very childish theme. The members agreed (reluctantly in Changmin’s case) to this idea. They all thought (excluding Changmin) that doing something to bring out their silliness would be fun. The director pulled out a list of five animals to assign to each other since they will be dressing as life-size plushies.  
  
  
The director’s original choices were:  
1.  Tiger – Yunho  
2\. Deer – Jaejoong  
3\. Sheep – Junsu  
4\. Rabbit – Yoochun  
5\. Lion – Changmin  
  
  
Yunho immediately objected. “I think Jaejoong and Changmin should switch.”  
  
  
Jaejoong pouted and whispered, “But I’m the one with the ‘doe-like’ eyes…like your Bambi.” Changmin heard him since he sat in between them.  
  
  
Yunho looked into Jaejoong’s eyes then in Changmin’s eyes and shook his head slightly. “I think it suits him more.”  
  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “Well, at least you and I both will be cats.” And then he winked. Yunho gave him a small smile but stayed quiet.  
  
  
Changmin honestly didn’t care since he was against this entire concept to begin with. But nonetheless, he put on that silly deer outfit, walked onto the set with as much confidence as he can muster under the circumstances. He spotted Yunho (who was dressed endearingly as a tiger) chatting with one of the crew members and pranced over to him like a good deer.  
  
  
“Hiya, Yunnie!” Yunho startled, stopped his conversation with the crew member, and noticed Changmin’s appearance. He didn’t say anything for a good 10 seconds and the younger boy became nervous. He knew he looked stupid but…  
  
  
“You look perfect,” Yunho said quietly as he cupped Changmin’s face. “My Bambi come to life.” Then he buried his face in the “deer’s” neck and nuzzled it.  
  
  
Embarrassed, all Changmin could do was pat Yunho on the head indulgingly.  
  
  
Looking up, red-faced and helpless to the leader’s public display of affection, Changmin noticed Jaejoong (the lion) give them an intense glare.  He hid his smirk behind the tiger ears tickling his nose. At least he could be this for Yunho. _  
  
  
  
  
Shaking himself out of that memory, Changmin responded with a nod. Still clouded over with sleepiness, Yunho ran his fingers through “Bambi’s” hair.  
  
  
“Let's go back to sleep now. Yunnie’s still tired.”  
  
  
“Oh no you don’t,” Changmin said as he felt Yunho slip back into unconsciousness.  Flipping the other man on his back, he began the final stage of this process: tickle leader-sshi till he begs! Yunho started laughing uncontrollably, desperately trying to push Changmin away.  
  
  
“Stop! STOP! Please, Minnie, HAVE MERCY!”  
  
  
“NEVER!” He roared. “You must promise to evade sleep in order for me to consider stopping!”  
  
  
“YES, YES! I promise! No more sleep!” Changmin ceased his torture then.  
  
  
Taking advance of this, Yunho hooked a leg around him and flipped them over to straddle him.  
  
“I’ve caught myself a maknae!” And let out a maniacal laugh to which Changmin raised an eyebrow to, totally unimpressed with the older man’s supposed victory.  
  
  
Like usual they began wrestling for dominance until Changmin finally ended up in between the leader’s legs, laughing breathlessly together with him.  They only ever parted when Jaejoong yelled from the kitchen that breakfast was getting cold.   
  
  
  
Over the years, Changmin had come to appreciate the directors’ decisions to exclude most HoMin (his and Yunho’s couple name) scenes from the final cut.  
  
  
“Damn it!! How come that moment you hugged me from the back didn’t make it on the dvd?! It’s not fair!”  Yunho pouted and complained once after their trip to Saipan.  
  
  
Changmin would just smile and let the leader rant on adorably about the discrimination against their couple.  Inwardly, he was glad since he would literally die of embarrassment if the fans ever found out that Shim Changmin’s soft spot is and always will be the one and only Jung Yunho.      
  
  
  
  
No matter how the members appeared to the public though, at home they grew closer and closer as the years passed.  Changmin always had a hard time expressing emotion, but in his actions he showed his love, whether it was plotting mischief with Yoochun, teasing Junsu, hitting Jaejoong with affection, or encouraging Yunho when he needed it most…it was all about showing love rather than spouting off pretty words. They had become a family…and Changmin couldn’t imagine a life without the five of them together. Dong Bang Shin Ki quickly became a home for the reigning Gods of K-pop…a home Changmin hadn’t been searching for but was thankful and grateful for all the same.   
  
  
  
All five of them worked their ass off and reached a point where SM offered them an extension to their 10-year contract…another 3 years to try to expand DBSK to other Asian markets. Changmin was excited…the other members, especially Yunho, felt the same way as him.  The thought of becoming true ‘Gods of the East’ thrilled all of them and they agreed to the contract (with their fathers’ present of course), and so went on releasing singles in Japan, as well as promoting and touring in all prominent Asian countries.  
  
  
  
But what goes up must come down. Nothing ever stays the same. The world changes, people change, _you_ change.  When Changmin thinks back on the days that led to their group breaking up, his heart is gripped with overwhelming grief and anger.  


 


	2. Part II

_Did you see the new kid?_  
  
 _He seems so lost…_  
  
 _Heard he was just handed a chance to debut…_  
  
  
Jung Yunho’s eyes zeroed in on the newest trainee waiting outside SM’s main office.  He was tall…almost as tall as himself and looked like he hadn’t stopped growing yet.  The boy was observing his surroundings so Yunho lowered his baseball cap further to hide his face as he continued to watch the younger boy.  
  
  
 _He looks like a pampered prince_ , Yunho thought judgmentally. The young trainee has this glow about him, a shine that hit everyone in his path with bright rays. He made Yunho feel low class and ugly.  
  
Then the boy looked towards his general direction and Yunho got a good glimpse of wide, doe-shaped, brown eyes full of curiosity.     
  
 _Heart pounding...  
   
Stomach clenching...  
   
Palms sweating..._  
  
Yunho tried to keep his breathing steady and his expression aloof. He felt such an overwhelming sense of familiarity for this boy.   
  
 _Why do I have this sudden urge to go stand beside him so he doesn’t have to wait there all alone?_  
  
When Yunho found himself walking towards the boy, an SM representative peaked out the office door and motioned for the boy to come in.  Yunho felt another urge to follow him as the boy disappeared behind the doors.  
  
Leaning against the wall by the door, Yunho decided to wait so he could introduce himself to this mysterious boy.  
  
After a few minutes, someone shouted his name. It was his friend, Junsu.  Pulling to a stop in front of him, Junsu announced, “Lee Sooman wants to see us.”  
  
Ten minutes later, Yunho stormed out of the office with Junsu and his other friend, Jaejoong at his heals.  
  
“How can they disband our band ‘Four Seasons’? It’s not fair…it wasn’t given much of a chance!”  
  
Jaejoong exchanged a look with Junsu then held Yunho back by the arm. “Babe, it’s okay. There’s a chance we’ll be in another group soon…that’s what Sooman seemed to be hinting at.”  
  
Yunho closed his eyes and sighed. “I need to dance this off…I’ll be in the dance studio if anyone needs me.”  
  
“I’ll go with you,” Junsu offered. Jaejoong left them saying he was meeting Yoochun, who was a quiet trainee from America.  
   
When he entered the dance room, Yunho immediately saw the boy from earlier shrink away into the corner.  Junsu didn’t acknowledge the other trainee’s presence, but Yunho felt the adrenaline rush through him as he felt the boy’s eyes on his every dance move. He danced harder than ever…for some odd reason, wanting to show off to this nameless boy.  
  
Then he had to stop for the boy approached him slowly with a dazed expression.   
  
“Hello, I don’t think we ever met before…I’m Changmin.”  
  
This Changmin had such a soft voice…it really got to him. And that name…it had strength to it. _Changmin…Chang…Min…Minnie…Yes, Minnie, I like that one._  
  
But for some reason, as he introduced himself he couldn’t help the rising resentment at how easily Changmin was able to enter the company. So when the younger boy complimented his dancing skill, Yunho brushed it off and was even rude about it.  
  
 _Why did I just do that?_ He asked himself as he walked away with Junsu.  
  
  
That night, his dreams were filled with intriguing wide, brown eyes and a gentle voice that left him wanting more. More of what exactly, Yunho did not know.  
  
  
The next day, he walked into the dance room, ready to lead all trainees when he spotted Jaejoong practicing a dance move.   
  
“Jaejoong!” He shouted and ran to wrap his arms around his friend. Jaejoong gazed back at him with a sweet smile and pouty lips. Yunho’s heart skipped a beat. He wanted Jaejoong to pull him in closer but he was forced to part so he could start the class.  
  
After an hour or two of practice, a trainee walked out in the middle of it.    
  
Yunho seethed at such gall, _if you’re not dedicated to this why even bother?!_  
  
Eyeing all the trainees, his eyes fell on Changmin, who was resting on the floor.  Yunho felt his anger turn sour at the thought of this boy leaving too.  He could see it now. He befriends Changmin, they become close…Yunho loses himself in those brown eyes on a daily basis, then just when he starts to feel safe, the younger boy will abandon him because he had no true ambition for all of this anyway. _What a waste..._  
  
Kneeling down in front of the younger boy, Yunho spouted off a blunt, rude comment about Changmin’s motives for being here then walked away.   
  
 _Follow me_ , Yunho thought desperately as stomped down the hall, _please follow me…show me you really want this!_  
  
His wishes were answered because as he stood with Heechul, who was blabbing away about something, he saw Changmin walking towards him with a frown on his face. He barely noticed Heechul leaving when the angry young man started ranting about his earlier comment.  
  
 _He cares! He cares!_ Yunho contained his joy with an arrogant attitude, but couldn’t hold back a smile and then a laugh at Changmin’s witty responses.  
  
“Well, aren’t you just full of surprises!”  Yunho said, and just had to pinch those adorable cheeks. Noting the frozen expression on Changmin’s face at this move, Yunho’s already fading bad mood from earlier completely disappeared.  
  
 _Clearly this boy does not like to be touched_ , the older boy thought to himself, _peeeerrrrrfect!_  
  
As he walked back to the dance room with an arm around Changmin, as a week passed of him always finding excuses to stay close to Changmin, as the day came when he was signed on to a legit group with Changmin, Yunho realized for whatever reason he needed this boy in his life. Forever, if that was possible.  
   
   
For the years following Dong Bang Shin Ki’s debut, Yunho lived and breathed his leader role.  He made sure to have a special relationship with each of his members…he loved them all for different reasons.  
  
Junsu was the first person to welcome him into his home when he suffered through homelessness.  He was completely aware of the power of his cute image and its effect on people, so it made Junsu act like a diva when they were home.   
  
“…the staff was acting ridiculous today! And I can’t believe I have to be a sheep in that stupid music video! A sheep! Do I look like a sheep to you?” Junsu had ranted one time as they all sat together in the living room.  
  
Yunho, who had his head on Jaejoong’s thigh and legs laid upon Changmin’s lap, straightened up and approached Junsu.  He grabbed the angry boy by the face and squished his cheeks. “Awww, Su, it’s okay. You’ll be the cutest sheep in the world!”  
  
Junsu seemed to be mollified then and turned on the Ninendo to play a video game.  
  
  
Yoochun was endearing in his own way, especially when he let Yunho sit in on a composing session.  He at times got into states of depression, and Yunho was helpless to get him out of it.  
  
“Chunnie! I loved that melody…play it again!” Yunho had exclaimed one day as he listen to the depressed boy play the piano, hoping his own enthusiasm would cheer the other boy up.   
  
Jaejoong was also in the room, pulling Yoochun’s hair in a messy pony tail. But Yoochun had ignored his compliments and instead leaned into Jaejoong.  
  
Something inside Yunho had stung at seeing this. _Jaejoong_ …such a tricky subject.  
  
Given Jaejoong’s feminine-like beauty and he himself being appointed leader, management thought their appa/umma dynamic in the group would appeal to fangirls. Thus fanservice between them was born.  He really didn’t mind it, it seemed to make the fans happy…and he got to be near Jaejoong.   
  
To say he had been infatuated with other boy would have been an understatement.  So when they had to do lovey scenes in the Banjun drama ‘Dangerous Love’, something struck a chord not just in him but Jaejoong as well.  
  
Yunho had never considered himself to be gay…in fact, he loved women.  But him and the slightly older boy were physically drawn to each other, hence, ended up sleeping together regularly. Jung Yunho, however, was not one for indulging in flings – Jaejoong never seemed to understand that…nor was he forgiving about all the friends Yunho had either.  
  
  
One time towards the end of 2008, it was 1am and Jaejoong still wasn’t home.  Yunho, who was lying on couch, started feeling drowsy waiting up for him. Shivering at the sudden cool air coming from the open window in the fancy Tokyo hotel room, Yunho was listening to his boyfriend’s voice message on his cell phone for the 5th time: “Hey, just hanging out with Keita…don’t wait up.”  
  
That was it. And Jaejoong didn’t call to say he would be late either. This time when Yunho shivered it wasn’t from the cold.  
  
Suddenly he felt warmth all around him – Changmin had closed the window and covered him with a blanket.  
  
“Pabo, hyung…you’re gonna get sick in this state.”  
  
Despite his worry, Yunho smiled and motioned for Changmin to sit next to him. Instead, the maknae sat on the ground, leaning a shoulder on the couch.  
  
“Why aren’t you in bed?” Yunho asked.  
  
Without answering, Changmin grabbed the leader’s cold hands and began rubbing them. Yunho closed his eyes and felt the coldness leave his entire body.  
  
“Why is he with Keita? Is he trying to punish me for going out to that special dinner some of my friends planned for me?” Yunho asked desperately.  
  
Looking deeply into his eyes, Changmin answered, “You didn’t do anything wrong…”  
  
Yunho sighed. “Why is it always the same fight with him? Do you think I’m not being fair?”  
  
Changmin let go of his hands and gazed into his eyes. “I think he needs to be more understanding.”  
  
“Blunt as ever, Changmin.” A new voice interrupted.  So lost in each other, they didn’t notice Jaejoong entering the living room.  
  
“Could you please give Yunho and I some privacy?” Jaejoong added.  
  
The maknae’s eyes narrowed. He stood up and walked back to the bedroom they shared, leaving the door open.  _Odd…_  
  
As Yunho sat up on the couch, Jaejoong launched into a passive-aggressive rant.  “So I go hang out with one of my friends and you’re here cuddling up to Changmin…how lovely!  Isn’t it enough that I’m not your top priority?! That I have to play second fiddle to everyone you deem to call a friend?!”  
  
“Joongie, please, you know it’s not like that…”  
  
“What’s it like then?!”  
  
“You know I’m always here for you…I love you,” Yunho said quietly.  “You were my first, I gave myself to you–”  
  
 Jaejoong blew up again. “You don’t appreciate me! Even Yoochun understands me better than you.  I don’t know why we’re trying to make this more than what it is…we’re fuck buddies.  I think we can avoid more hurt if we just leave it at that.”  
  
Yunho froze. “Do you mean that?”  
  
The pretty man sighed, and sat next Yunho on the couch. He could smell alcohol on Jaejoong.  
  
“You’ve been drinking. I hate that,” He stated in distress as he stood up to leave.  
  
Jaejoong stopped him and gave him a longing stare. He then reached over and brushed his thumb against Yunho’s full bottom lip.  Yunho succumbed to his kisses, but in the back of his mind he knew something was off.  
  
When they parted, Jaejoong asked, “Come to my room in 30 minutes? I really wanna take a shower.”  
  
Yunho was helpless to deny him. Minutes later he enter the room he shared with Changmin and found said boy sitting on the edge of the bed, arms folded.  
  
“You fall for his manipulation every time, don’t you?”  
  
Yunho immediately got defensive. “What do you mean ‘manipulation’? It was just a misunderstanding…I know he loves me.”  
  
“Does he really?” Changmin challenged. “I know he’s always there to fuck you when you need it most, but is he ever there for you emotionally?”  
  
Gasping at the sheer audacity, Yunho stepped up to the irritated maknae and glared into his eyes.  
  
“ _How dare you?_ As if you’re an open book! I can never get you to open up to me at all!”  
  
Changmin snorted and said in a hushed tone, “I’m not talking about myself here…I’m aware that I’m emotionally challenged. I’m talking about you and Jaejoong’s relationship having zero depth. Who’s always there for you when you’re down…or up or any where in-between, huh? _Me!_ ”  
  
He grabbed Yunho’s small face then and added, “Don’t forget that, please…”  
  
Ignoring those words, Yunho brushed him off and walked away.  Later, him and Jaejoong had sex in the bedroom where the soulmate couple sleep (Yoochun had been with Junsu that night).  
  
Afterwards, Jaejoong had reached over to the side drawers to pull out a cigarette and lean his head back against the headboard.  
  
“You know I hate that habit of yours.”  
  
The lead singer blew some smoke out and said, “Among other things.”  
  
“What do you mean by that?”  
  
Jaejoong huffed, put out the cigarette and rolled over to sleep. Yunho tried to snuggle up to his back, but he was pushed away.   
  
“Stop it.  I’m tired.”  
  
It really sucks when Shim Changmin was right.  
  
   
Out of the five guys, Changmin was ultimately Yunho’s best friend. Often times they would lie next to each other and talk about mundane things that would eventually turn into heavy conversations.  From leader-sshi problems or even religion to “do aliens really exist?” type of talks.  
  
The most touching thing was how much Changmin took care of him.  Yunho hadn’t ever thanked him for it but he tried to show it with a hug or a kiss on the cheek here or there.  
  
However, as good as it got with Changmin is as bad as it got.  They fought constantly…and over the most meaningless things to boot!  
  
  
One summer their AC broke and so the five of them were crowded in the living room sharing a big fan, and watching a drama.  Reaching over to the carton of juice on the center table, Yunho drank a big glup from it. Changmin, who sat beside him on the couch, glared harshly at him.  
  
“Hyung, why do you that? You lips should not touch the top…it’s a disgusting habit!”  
  
Yunho turned to stare him. “What’s it to you? It doesn’t seem to be bothering anyone else.”  
  
“Well, it bothers me. Now I can’t drink from it!”  
  
“Oh well, since I’m so disgusting, maybe I should go sit somewhere else!”  
  
“I didn’t say you were disgusting!”  
  
At this point they were facing each other with twin annoyed expressions.  
  
“But you bring up a good point,” Changmin continued contemptuously. “I found your underwear on my bed this morning. Care to explain that?”  
  
Yunho sighed and whined, “Jeez, just pick it up and throw it on the floor if it bothers you so much.”  
  
Changmin seemed to be having a fit now. “Oh! So it’s better to make a mess on the floor? I can hardly see the carpet as is!”  
  
“Well, what do you want me to do?”  
  
The younger man closed his eyes and answered with his teeth clenched. “Oh gee, I don’t know, maybe putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket? Last time I check my bed was not made for housing your laundry.”  
  
The other three had been watching them like a ping-pong match. When Yunho looked like he wanted to strangle Changmin, Yoochun spoke up.  
  
“Alright, you two, enough with the ‘Domestic Woes of HoMin’ for today. It’s really getting annoying, I’m trying to watch this show. ”   
  
Junsu had a distant expression, but soon Yoochun started provoking him and they broke out in a playful argument.  Jaejoong alternated between glancing at him and Changmin as they sat there with their arms folded not talking to each other, and typing away on his laptop…occasionally reading all of them jokes he read online. Eventually Yunho started feeling drowsy and laid his head on Changmin’s shoulder. Immediately, the arm under his head adjusted and it wrapped around his waist to pull him in closer.  
  
This is just how they all were, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.  
  
Unfortunately, as Yunho learned the hard way, a good thing never lasts forever.  
   
  
Within a team, clicks sometimes form inadvertently. Soon Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun started excluding him and Changmin from certain conversations or activities they planned.  At first Yunho wasn’t worried…told himself it was nothing.  
  
But soon everything started to crumble…  
  
The trio called a group meeting in the kitchen. They sat on one side of the table, and leader and maknae sat on the other.  
  
“Okay so, we want to discuss a business venture with you two,” Junsu said in a business-like tone. “There’s this cosmetics company, Crebeau, we’re interested it. They requested our endorsement, and I think we should do it…it could make us a lot of money.”  
  
Junsu put the papers concerning this company in front of Yunho, who stared at it blankly. “You want them to use our group name on its products?”  
  
“Well, yeah, that is what _endorsement_ means.”  
  
Without saying a word, Changmin walked out of the kitchen only to return a few seconds later with his laptop.  Yunho sat there trying to read the papers in front him but he really didn’t understand their reasons for wanting to be involved in this business.  
  
“I think you three need to discuss this with our management. They would know about this company best. Plus we can’t just let me print our names on their product without company permission.”  
  
Junsu scoffed. “Really, Yunho? Must you always be a good little boy who lives by the rules? I don’t see why we have to ask for SM’s permission.”  
  
Yunho frowned in disbelief. “Why? They created Dong Bang ShinKi…they’ve invested in us 100%. We all work under SM entertainment. How can you think we can just run around slapping our respected group name on any product without any consideration to the company we work for?”  
  
Yoochun suddenly slammed his hand on the table. “What if we don’t want to work for this company anymore, damn it!”  
  
The leader froze, eyes widening. Even the maknae stopped his typing to look up.  
  
Jaejoong put hand on Yoochun’s arm and squeezed. “What he’s trying to say is, it wouldn’t hurt to try something new…invest in something new. We can make more money and it’ll give us more options.”  
  
Now Yunho just looked confused. “I don’t understand. What more options? How does this company have anything to do with improving Dong Bang ShinKi? Or helping us grow as a group?”  
  
Jaejoong gave him a sympathetic look. “You live in a fairy-tale, Yunho. Can’t you see we’re not happy? That we haven’t been happy for a while now?”  
  
The leader felt like the walls were closing in on him. “Not happy…not happy? We’re at the height of our success as a group…we’re just now making it big in Japan, and soon maybe even Europe and America--”  
  
The trio laughed mockingly at that. Junsu spoke up. “Oh please…I highly doubt they’re gonna expand that much. Besides, SM will smother us so much, we’ll just be doing what makes them happy!”  
  
Yunho tried again. “But…our dreams together. One dream…I – ”  
  
The lead singer sighed, grabbed Yunho by the arm and pulled him in his lap. “Look, Yunho, just give this company a chance. There’s even this other entertainment company we’ve heard about recently that is interested in us and will give us more freedom.”  
  
Yunho pushed away from him and stood up. “We’re still under contract with SM…you can’t just break a contract, that’s illegal.”  
  
Jaejoong grabbed his hand and pulled him back into his lap. “Don’t worry…the three of us will find a way out of it.”  
  
He noticed Yoochun and Junsu glanced at each other with satisfied expressions. Yunho felt like vomiting then, and looked around desperately at Changmin, who had been quiet this whole time.  
  
The younger man made eye contact with him and said, “I don’t agree with this idea. I just did a quick search about ‘Crebeau’ and there’s something not right about it. I agree with Yunho, you guys shouldn’t make a move without consulting SM first at least.”  
  
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Oh surprise, surprise! The maknae is siding with the leader…as if your bias wasn’t obvious enough!”  
  
Changmin stood up and was getting ready to hit Jaejoong when Yunho put his hands on his chest to stop him.  “Don’t, Minnie...please don’t.”  
  
The youngest appeared torn, but then gave in and sat down. Yoochun coughed. “ _Whipped!_ ”  
   
The events that escalated from then on were still a blur to Yunho.  SM management didn’t like the idea of being involved with Crebeau, but that made the trio even more convinced they were right.  He didn’t understand all the legal stuff behind it but all he knew was his band was falling apart.  
  
The trio was constantly trying to pressure the two of them to join in on their mission.  This caused Yunho to stay quiet whilst being tortured on the inside, and Changmin, whose failed attempts to stay quiet turned into fits of rage against the trio. But the leader knew that hushed crying he heard in the middle of the night wasn’t his imagination.  And he was powerless to stop it since Yunho struggled not to cry every minute of every day.   
  
  
One morning, as he was reading the paper, Yunho came across a bit of news that had him running to Changmin to confirm its authenticity. _  
  
  
Three members of Dong Bang ShinKi, Kim Junsu, Park Yoochun, and Kim Jaejoong, filed an injunction against SM Entertainment earlier this week due to an unfair contract. The court approved the injunction this morning. This means these members will have the right to act independently of SME…_  
  
  
Jung Yunho’s whole world tilted right then and there.  
  
  
When he approached Jaejoong about it that evening, he’d brushed it off by saying, “It had to be done. There was no other way around it. SM will have to give in, and give us what we want eventually.”  
  
For the first time ever, Yunho rejected Jaejoong’s advances for sex that night.  
  
  
From that point on, living together under one roof became almost unbearable, for Yunho especially since he was used to be close and cuddly with all his members. Jaejoong, Yoochun, and Junsu became their own thing…even when they all had to participate at the A-Nation festival they didn’t act as a whole when they weren’t forced to.   
  
Changmin stuck to Yunho’s side like glue, but even now the two of them hadn’t really sat down and talked about the situation.  Because acknowledging the problem means it’s real, and Yunho was still praying for some miracle to happen.  
  
Yunho constantly turned to his father for advice…he knew Changmin had done the same. His father, a man Yunho respected with his whole heart, gave him his opinion one night on phone as he lied in bed.  
  
“I fail to see how that contract you all signed is unfair. You told me SM had tried to negotiate with them, why aren’t they trying to work things out? What’s the problem?”  
  
 _Indeed, what is the problem?_ Yunho asked himself as he stared at Changmin’s troubled, sleeping face on the opposite bed.  
  
   
Then the final day or _doomsday_ as he liked to call it had arrived…the thing he had been dreading from the beginning. This was after their last performance as 5 members, towards the end of 2009.   
  
Yunho had just finished an interview with the cast of his drama ‘Heading to the Ground’ and Changmin called him to say he’s on his way to pick him up.  See, he wasn’t lying when he said the maknae stuck to him like glue…he’d been picking him up and dropping him off at places whenever he could. The car ride home was silent, and the moment they walked through front door of their dorm, he knew something was wrong. There were boxes everywhere.  
  
The trio was moving out.  
  
His heart bled then…bled so hard Yunho had to put his hands on the wall and hunch over to control his breathing. Changmin’s stony expression as he watched the trio hustle around the apartment packing things caused the leader’s heart to not only bleed but burn.  
  
Being the masochist that he is, Yunho had decided to be a trooper and say good-bye to each one individually…Changmin tagged along silently behind him with an ominous aura.  
  
First he went to Junsu, who was zipping up his suitcases and said, “Remember how you let me stay at your house when I was homeless? I’ll always be grateful to you for those times…Will miss you, Su.”  
  
Junsu nodded and gave a tiny smile. Changmin just glowered by the door way…  
  
  
Yoochun was next, and he was folding some socks and putting them in the suitcase. Yunho sat next to him and placed a hand over his. “I’m sorry you were never truly happy. I wish I could change that. Just know that I will always care for you…Will miss you, Chunnie.”  
  
The other man stared at him for a bit then glanced at Changmin, whose eyes begged for this to be all a dream.  
  
“This is for the best, please understand that,” Yoochun said quietly.  
  
Neither one had a response to that statement.  
  
  
Finally, it was Jaejoong’s turn.  They found him in the kitchen, eating some ramen. All the things Yunho had planned to say left his head at that moment, and he crouched down on his knees in front of the pretty man.  
  
“Why? Please…just tell me why? I need to know so I can move on…” Yunho pleaded softly.  
  
Jaejoong chewed the last bite slowly and answered, “Sometimes there is no ‘why’. It is what it is. The dreams I had as a teenager aren’t the same dreams I have now.”  
  
The distraught leader bent his head and nodded. “But what about…us? Or is there even still an us?”  
  
He felt a hand cup his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. Suddenly, he was pushed away and realized it was Changmin that broke them apart.  
  
“Stop messing with his head, damn it!”  
  
Jaejoong stood up, eyes narrowing on the youngest. “Who says I’m messing with him? Why do you even care, Changmin? It couldn’t be that you secretly want him for yourself! _Surely not!_ ”  
  
Changmin shook with anger. “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, _hyung_.”  
  
Jaejoong ignored him and kept going. “Not that I blame you…he’s a great fuck. Too bad he’ll never see you as anything more than a baby.”  
  
All hell broke loose then. Changmin tackled Jaejoong to the ground and punched him. Yunho stood there too stunned by Jaejoong’s words to do anything. After a few more punches were thrown from both men, the leader jumped into action and pulled the enraged members apart.  
  
He pushed Changmin towards the doorway. “Please, Minnie, calm down.”  
  
“Did you hear what he said?! Fuck, you’ve got some nerve, Jaejoong!”  
  
The soon-to-be ex-lead singer was dabbing his bleeding lip with rag but replied haughtily to the maknae. “Who are you trying to fool, Shim Changmin? You’ve always hated the fact that I get to sleep with _your_ Yunho…and you don’t…”  
  
Changmin broke away from Yunho’s grip to stand in front of the man whom he’s always had a volatile relationship with, and said stoically, “I was trying to protect my _brother_ from being manipulated once again by you.”  
  
“ _Brother, my ass!_ ”  
  
Figuring that dragging Changmin away was a lost cause, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s hand and led him away. He was stopped briefly by Changmin. “Yunho…don’t fall for it.”  
  
The leader stared at the other’s bloody lip but then shrugged him away. “I have to say good-bye.”  
  
When him and Jaejoong reached a bedroom, the pretty man closed and locked the door.  
  
Caressing Yunho’s cheek, he asked, “How about one more time? For old time’s sake?”  
  
Yunho didn't understand why he consented. Jaejoong’s words to Changmin were still bubbling in his head. Guess because, with everything that was happening, he didn’t want anything ‘nice’. And knew Jaejoong had always been callous towards his feelings during sex.  
  
The other man threw him on the bed and pulled him up on his knees, and, with barely any preparation, entered him roughly.  
  
Usually he hated this part…Jaejoong rarely ever let him adjust.  But right now, he welcomed that pain that seldom ever gave him pleasure but he let it continue because he loved Jaejoong. He wanted to make Jaejoong feel good…he wanted Jaejoong to not forget him.  
  
Later on that day, Yunho got out of his hour long shower to a deathly silence filling apartment.  
  
The trio had left, leaving ghosts of their memories behind.    
  
Entering the living room slowly, the leader found the maknae sleeping on the couch with dried tears glistening on his face.  
  
Falling to his knees in front of the Changmin, Yunho had felt the stage curtain on the last scene in act I of his life fall, leaving behind only darkness.

 

 


	3. Part III

It was a cold night in January 2010 as Changmin tossed and turned in bed.  He couldn’t find a comfortable position or still the aching in his heart as past letters and actions kept whirling around in his head…  
  
  
 _His father…_  
  
  
 _[…the three members began to exert tremendous pressure against the two members directly and indirectly to leave the company together with them.  
  
The two members were almost in emotional panic…  
  
…they were unable to say anything outside because of this situation.  
  
I had to swallow tears many times watching my son suffering in pain while quietly enduring it without saying a word.](http://truetvxq.blogspot.com/2011/01/statement-released-by-changmins-father.html)_  
  
  
  
 _Yunho’s father…_  
  
  
 _[Changmin’s father and I had different opinion than the parents of 3 members…  
  
…Due to this incident, my son and I were deeply hurt. My son was dumfounded by these sudden events.  
  
…I’d like to tell my son that the gains achieved with questionable methods will crumble just as easily, and also tell the same things to the 3 members who are like my sons.](http://truetvxq.blogspot.com/2011/01/statement-released-by-yunhos-father.html)_  
  
  
  
 _Him and Yunho…_  
  
  
 _[We cannot understand and accept that TVXQ, created together for five years by sharing our dreams, may collapse…  
  
It's hard to believe that TVXQ can break like this, and this reality seems like a nightmare.  
  
  
…and we hope the 3 members can come back to the moment…when we shared the same dream.](http://truetvxq.blogspot.com/2011/01/yunho-and-changmins-statement.html)_  
  
  
  
 _MAMA Awards…Jaejoong…  
  
  
I'd like to tell the two friends who may be watching this that I love them._  
  
   
  
  
 _Fucking LIAR!_ Throwing away this covers, Changmin got out of bed and punched his fists into the wall. This startled Yunho, who was sleeping on the bed next to his, but after a frown the leader’s quiet snores returned.  
  
  
  
Changmin casted an anguished look at the sleeping man as he thought about what has been happening to them. Years of working their ass off and finally making it big as Dong Bang ShinKi and it gets taken away from him and Yunho with an ease that almost frightens him. How is that fair?  When will they ever be able to perform again?   
  
  
  
Ever since the end of last year, it was decided to give the trio time to resolve their differences with the company and come back to them. This plan was mostly Yunho’s idea, but honestly, Changmin thought it was a lost cause. Those three made their decision…and they clearly don’t want to be a part of Dong Bang ShinKi anymore.   
  
   
  
SM had agreed to give the trio time but ultimately said that him and Yunho are to make a comeback at the beginning of next year.  
  
  
A comeback? With just the two of them? Does a socially awkward maknae and emotionally hurt leader even stand a chance against the new fresh bands growing out there? Better yet, can the two of them hold up a name originally meant for five members…originally became popular because of those five members?  
  
   
  
As far as Changmin knows, he’s the least popular member. And Yunho has been judged harshly from the beginning due to his leader role. What if they sank this ship worse than the _Titanic_? He fears that particular fate much more than their band splitting.  It would be like all those years of hard work had been a lie and he himself wasn’t truly worthy of the name Dong Bang ShinKi.   
  
  
  
Those were the doubts and fears floating around in Changmin’s mind ever since the trio moved out. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. And he knew for a fact that Yunho wasn’t fairing any better either. The leader had not cried once, which Changmin finds extremely unhealthy.  
  
  
  
And then there were the…constant nightmares. As if on cue, an agonized moan irrupted from Yunho and Changmin hurried to his bedside.  
  
  
  
“My fault…all my fault…I’m…sorry…so sorry…”  
  
  
  
No matter how many nights he heard him plead this way it still torn him to shreds.  One was sure after listening to Yunho’s sleep-talking every night -- the leader blamed himself completely for the break-up.  
  
  
  
Changmin gently ran a finger across the upset man’s brows to smooth the wrinkles. Then slanted, dark brown eyes open to stare at him forlornly.  
  
  
“Minnie…,” Yunho breathed. “I’m hurting.”  
  
  
It was stated as a fact…as if that’s the only emotion he’ll ever be privy to. Feeling his own eyes water, Changmin looked away to stop the tears from falling.  
  
  
“Hold me.”  
  
  
Yunho said this in a tone that suggested that holding him will ease the hurt inside of them both. But in that moment, Changmin’s whole body tensed at the thought of holding the man laid out in front of him.   
  
  
 _That’s weird…I’ve held Yunho numerous times_ , the younger man thought as he stood up to back away.  
  
  
  
The beautiful man sat up and held out a hand to Changmin. _Beautiful? Since when do I think Yunho is beautiful?_ The maknae just stood there feeling more vulnerable than ever as his eyes ran over the other’s innocent, small face and down over his lean bare chest.  
  
  
  
Changmin swallowed. “I think I…want a…snack. You sleep for now, okay?”  
  
  
He turned away but not before catching Yunho’s head lower and shoulder slump in disappointment.  
  
  
Flattening himself against the wall next to the bedroom, he heard a small voice call out, “I’ll be here if you need me, Minnie.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin was man enough to admit that he does need Yunho.  Admit it at least to himself anyway.  
  
  
There was always an unidentified, overwhelming emotion that rose up inside him but now it’s all the time, any time he’s near Yunho…and he didn’t like it. It started making him feel awkward around Yunho, and in turn, the leader retaliated by trying to keep his distance.  
  
  
  
Before when there were three other guys around, he could keep his emotions for the leader in check, especially with Jaejoong watching his every move. But now, with just the two of them, it’s almost impossible to hide anything now. Changmin wasn’t even sure what he was trying to hide but all he knew was that he needed to control this unnamed emotion…control is everything.  
  
   
  
  
  
One evening, Changmin was lying down on the couch reading a fictional novel after three hours of exercising at the gym. Exercising had become a habit and a good way to avoid spending the evenings with Yunho.   
  
  
 _Speaking of which,_ _where was he?_  
  
  
Suddenly his mobile rang.  Seeing Yunho’s name flash on the screen alarmed him slightly, immediately sensing something was wrong.  
  
  
“Hello? Yunho?”  
  
  
  
“CHANGMIN!!!”  
  
  
  
He winced as the happy shout nearly pierced his ear drums. “Yunho? What’s wrong?”  
  
  
  
“PSH!! Nothing is wrong!” Then he added in a whisper, “I’ve got shome guy kisshing my neck! Hehe! There was a girl hittin’ on me earlier, but shhe could not be trushted with my body!”  
  
  
  
 _The hell—_  
  
  
  
“MINNIE!!” Yunho yelled out in a slur.  
  
  
Clenching the phone one hand and putting on his shoes with the other, Changmin asked, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you now.”  
  
  
  
Yunho just giggled and refused to tell. “Yunho, can you please hand your phone to the guy next to you?” He asked in fake sweetness.  
  
  
  
Another deep voice greeted him, and Changmin tried to restrain his impatience and bubbling anger as he started up the car.  
  
  
  
“Can you please tell me what club you’re at?” He asked with his teeth clenched.  
  
  
  
“Club Odyssey.”  
  
  
  
He started heading towards their direction, and niceness went out the window.   
  
  
  
“Okay, now listen up, asshole. That man you’re currently trying to seduce is mine.  So when I get there, if I see your hands anywhere near him, I will cut them off and shove them down your throat.”  
  
  
  
He hung up before the man could respond and sped as fast as he could without attracting attention from the police.  
  
  
  
  
Upon arriving at the club, he searched for 10 minutes before he finally found Yunho, who was sitting on a bar stool with a familiar hat obscuring his face. There was a burly guy stroking his thighs and leaning in really close to him.  
  
  
Changmin saw red. Running over to Yunho’s side, he grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the other guy without a word. The ugly guy started following them, but luckily with such a big crowd, they lost him. Yunho was struggling to be let loose so the younger man tightening his hold his arm.  
  
  
Ignoring all the protests, he just shoved him in the passenger seat, buckled him in, and got in the car himself.  
  
  
Yunho babbled the whole way about how unfair that was and how much fun he was having. All Changmin could focus on though was his anger…and he didn’t even know what he was angry about. Was it the fact that Yunho went out and got drunk? Or the fact he might have been taken advantage of by that disgusting guy if Changmin had not intervened?  
  
  
  
He helped the drunk leader out of the car and into the apartment. But Yunho clung onto him.  
  
  
  
“Minnie…why don’t you need me?”  
  
  
  
Changmin refused to answer as he helped the older man out of his club clothes and left him lying on the bed with just his boxers. Going into the kitchen, he filled up a glass of water then rushed back into the bedroom.  
  
  
“Here, hyung. Drink this. You need to stay hydrated otherwise you’ll feel like shit and throw up in the morning.”  
  
  
  
After drinking the entire glass, Yunho eyed Changmin steadily.  “Hold me.”  
  
  
  
What Changmin learned at that moment was avoiding this was a lost cause. If he didn’t give in, then Yunho would just go to another to feel the warmth of human contact. And as far as he’s concerned, the vulnerable leader is only safe with him.  
  
  
So Changmin held him that night…and for the first time in weeks, the restless maknae had a peaceful night’s sleep. Even Yunho was free of nightmares.  
  
  
It became a habit after that. Almost every night the maknae would watch as his strong leader lost himself in alcohol and, then crawl into Changmin’s  bed in the middle of the night and snuggle up to his back as quietly as possible. When Changmin would feel that movement, he automatically turns over and wraps his arms around warm bundle that is Yunho.  
  
  
   
  
Couple of weeks later, about two months after the trio had moved out, he and Yunho spent an entire day with management trying to figure out their next step. It became official that all Dong Bang ShinKi activities are on hiatus. Management talked briefly about this so-called comeback but it was too early to do anything just yet.  Lee Sooman could only suggest some modeling jobs for them at this point.  
  
  
  
On the car ride home, Changmin glared out the window the whole time while Yunho zoned out completely.  By the time they got back home he was feeling more confused and angry than ever.  Yunho grabbed his hand and led him to walk around the apartment aimlessly looking into the two abandoned rooms, unable to say a word to each other… their thoughts all jumbled up.  Even though there was no one else in the apartment, they went to their shared room and closed the door so they could talk privately.  What creatures of habit they were…  
  
   
  
  
Sitting down on his bed, Changmin looked at Yunho, who sat on the floor with his knees drawn up, and waited for him to speak. He was met with silence. So he decided to ask the question that had been on his mind for weeks.  
  
   
  
“Do you still want to live together?”  
  
   
  
And just like that the leader snapped out of his reverie. Yunho’s distraught expression turned cold. Without a word, he reached under his bed and conjured up a bottle of whiskey.  
  
   
  
Changmin’s eyes narrowed and he said resentfully, “What’re you, an alcoholic now? All you’re doing is hurting yourself.”   
  
  
“As if you’re a saint! What do you care?” Yunho uncapped the new bottle and took a big swing of it. Then he squinted up his face and started coughing.  
  
   
  
Cursing under his breath, Changmin sank to the floor as well and pulled the bottle forcibly out of Yunho’s hands.  
  
   
  
“Hey! Give that back, Changmin!” Both guys had stood up by now but as tall as Yunho is, he couldn’t reach the bottle as the maknae held it high above his head.  
  
   
  
With a determined stance, Yunho stood on the bed and literally flung himself on Changmin’s back when he tried turning away with the bottle in hand. Caught off guard, the younger man stumbled and fell on the bed. Yunho straddled his back and was wiggling the bottle out of his hand.  They struggled like that with each other for a few minutes before Changmin pushed himself up to crawl to the headboard while still hanging on to the whiskey bottle.  
  
   
  
Twisting around to face Yunho and sitting back again the headboard, Changmin wrapped an arm around the leader’s slim waist and pulled him closer. This caused Yunho to stop fighting for the bottle and instead settle back on Changmin’s thighs to stare into the other’s eyes.  
  
   
  
The youngest smirked and raised the whiskey bottle to drink a hefty gulp.  Then he put the tip of the bottle to Yunho’s lips, which parted instinctively to swallow as much as he could before some whiskey dribbled out the corner of his mouth.  
  
   
  
Changmin wiped the falling liquid off with his thumb and sucked it clean. Yunho watched him carefully, biting his bottom lip nervously. The maknae continued alternating the bottle from his mouth to Yunho’s mouth till it was more than half empty.   
  
   
  
“Did chou know I hate the tashte of thish shtuff?…a little bit and it makesh me feel…ya know...” The now-drunk leader whispered in Changmin’s ear, like it was some nation-wide secret this man can’t hold his liquor.  
  
   
  
Changmin was buzzed if not a little tipsy himself. But when he felt the other nipping on his left ear, he shuddered.  
  
   
  
“I wov your earsh, Minnie!”  
  
   
  
He indulged the light biting on both his ears by placing his hand on the back of Yunho’s head. But then he started feeling tingles in his groin and so pushed the drunk man gently away from him.  
  
   
  
“No, Minnie, don’t go…not finished with your earsh…nom nom!”  
  
   
  
Feeling dizzy himself, Changmin collapsed backwards and closed his eyes. He felt Yunho crawl up his body and snuggled on top of him. Too sluggish from the alcohol, Changmin slipped into unconsciousness with the leader’s warm breath against his neck.  
  
   
  
   
  
Sometime in the middle of the night, Changmin felt something hard rubbing deliciously against an erection he didn’t know he had. He tried to open his eyes but everything was blurry…his dry contacts were glued to his eyelids. But that rubbing didn’t stop and so Changmin just went with it and rubbed back.  
  
  
 _Ah, this is probably just a dream anyway…_  
  
   
  
He heard a deep groan that he was pretty sure came from him. Gripping desperately at the body on top of him, Changmin flipped himself over to the top instead and continued grinding, eyes still shut tightly.  
  
   
  
The hot breath and moaning in his ear made him even harder so he rubbed faster. _Holy shit…_  
  
   
  
He came…hard. Then folded his body around the one beneath him, trying to calm its trembling as well as his own.  
  
Muscles still aching and head still dizzy from the alcohol, Changmin passed out again.  
  
   
  
  
Morning sunlight streamed from the bedroom window and woke the maknae with its glare. Changmin rubbed the dryness out of his eyes and threw the shriveled up contact lenses away. Damn, he hated falling asleep with those things still in. Grabbing his glasses from the bed-side drawers, Changmin sat up and stretched.  
  
   
  
He stilled when he realized someone was watching him. Turning slowly to his right he saw Yunho in the same stretching position staring back at him. They both looked down at their own laps, feeling the stickiness. Then they looked up at the same time and yelled and pointed at each other.  
  
   
  
“WAE!!!!!!!”  
  
   
  
Changmin jumped up and out of bed trying not to panic…it didn’t work.  
  
   
  
“What the fuck happened?!  Did you rape me?!”  
  
   
  
Outraged, Yunho jumped out of bed too and faced the angry young man on the opposite side.  
  
   
  
“Rape you?! Have you lost your mind, Min?!”  
  
   
  
“I know you’re used to getting some regularly, but I will not have you violate me!” Changmin yelled back, having no idea why he said that.  
  
   
  
Yunho laughed sardonically, and Changmin did not like that sound coming from someone so pure.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, Changmin. You’re the last person I’d go to for sex! Besides, you’re the one that kept pouring alcohol down my throat!”  
  
   
  
Annoyed at the sex comment, Changmin picked up the half-empty whiskey bottle from the night stand.  
  
   
  
“Who’s the one with the whiskey bottle stashed under his bed, huh?”  
  
   
  
Yunho answered defensively, “It’s not like I was drinking it by myself! You were just as bad!”  
  
   
  
“That’s because I figured if you insisted on drinking, I’d rather you didn’t do it alone or worse with some stranger!”  
  
   
  
Walking around the bed now and got up in Changmin’s face. “At least some stranger would have given me what I wanted!”  
  
   
  
“And that’s what exactly? A nice fuck?”  
  
   
  
Yunho glared at Changmin without answering.  
  
   
  
 “I thought you said I’m the last person you’d have sex with?”  
  
   
  
The leader’s glare faltered and he appeared confused with himself. “You are. I…”  
  
   
  
Changmin chuckled darkly. “Tell that to the wet spot on the front of your pants.”  
  
  
Yunho’s glare was back. “Oh like you’re _so immune_ yourself!”  
  
  
Changmin had enough of this conversation. He didn’t want to investigate nor discuss this newfound lust for Yunho he’s suddenly feeling. It disturbed him hence he shall repress it until it dies.   
  
   
  
Changmin brushed past Yunho and locked himself in the bathroom for a good 30 minutes. As he scrubbed his body clean in the shower, he wondered whether Yunho remembers any details from last night.  
  
   
  
After they both showered and had to eventually face each other, it became clear that Yunho wanted to play the “Pretend Nothing Happened” game, which worked out perfectly with his own “Repress Disturbing Emotions” plan. They spent the whole day packing, because after a rational discussion decided it’s best to move into a smaller, _two-bedroom_ apartment.  
  
   
  
   
  
Their new apartment was, for a lack of better word, cozy. It felt a lot less empty.  Plus not every little thing was haunted with memories. Everything was new and untouched…him and Yunho would have to make their own memories now.  
  
   
  
Granted this wasn’t hard to do since Jung _I-is-so-manly_ Yunho is a walking disaster. Every day is filled with a new incident. Changmin knew this before, but in the past their leader had four guys looking after him…now the burden fell on the maknae’s shoulders alone.  
  
   
  
One day, Changmin was locked in his room surfing the web when he heard a loud yell. Jumping up automatically, he rushed out and was led into the kitchen by another loud yell.  
  
   
  
His jaw dropped in shocked indignation as he saw the mess – soup-like substance was all over the walls, spilled ingredients were all over the breakfast table, and of course in the center of it all was Yunho…comically frozen in place with a large spoon in his hand as he stared at Changmin in fear.  
  
   
  
 _I’m not gonna yell…I’m not gonna yell._ Changmin kept chanting to himself to stay calm. But as he saw Yunho try to edge away, holding out the wooden spoon in his hand like a weapon of defense, the younger man snapped.  
  
   
  
“WHAT THE HELL?! What are you trying to do…destroy the kitchen?!” Changmin walked Yunho backwards into the stove as he shouted.  
  
   
  
Holding out the spoon to stop him from getting any closer, Yunho widened his eyes and swallowed.  
  
 _Oh…I see…he’s trying to pull the puppy-dog look. Resist the power of his cuteness, Changmin! Don’t give in!_  
  
  
“I don’t know how it happened, Minnie, promise! One minute I was reading the recipe and next the pot explodes!”  
  
   
  
“And why were trying to cook in the first place?” He asked impatiently.  “We all know you can’t even boil water properly.”  
  
   
  
Yunho looked down and mumbled, “I found one of…his old cookbooks during the move and decided to give it a try…I just wanted to cook you something. I’m sorry…”  
  
   
  
Well, son-of-a-bitch if Changmin didn’t feel like a pile of mush after hearing that. He laid a hand on the stove near Yunho’s hip to lean in for comfort but then felt like his hand was burning.  
  
   
  
“FUCKING SHIT!”  
  
   
  
Startled, Yunho looked up and, upon realizing what happened, quickly led him to the sink, where he ran cold water on his throbbing hand.  
  
   
  
Hissing at the sting, Changmin’s eyes meet with Yunho’s and they both burst out laughing. The maknae watched as the now-smiley leader shut off the water and ran soothing fingers over his reddening palm.  
  
   
  
“Oh wait! We have a balm for these kinds of injuries…hold on, let me get it!”  
  
   
  
And turning without paying attention to the liquid on the tile floor, Yunho slipped but Changmin was quick enough to catch him as he fell backwards. The leader gave him an upside-down confused stare, but then grabbed the hard surface next to him in order to straighten up but ended up burning his hand on stove as well.  
  
   
  
Changmin sighed as he administered the same cold water treatment then led Yunho to sit on a chair.  
  
   
  
His hyung gave him an expectant look as if prepared for the lecture about to ensue.  
  
   
  
“Yunho…dear hyung, from now on there are certain ‘hotspots’ in this apartment that you are not allowed to conduct activities in without supervision.  One being my bedroom…and now the kitchen.  Do what you will in your own bedroom, and the living room…well, just try not to burn it down. But the kitchen is officially taboo for you.”  
  
   
  
Yunho pouted.  Changmin’s eyes zeroed in on his plump bottom lip.  _Remember the three R’s, boy! Repress, Repress, and Repress!_  
  
   
  
  
  
Changmin found himself in the kitchen a week later trying to cook. Don’t ask him why. But remembering Yunho’s content expressions every time that _other boy_ had cooked for him, and recalling the leader’s desperate attempt at cooking the week before awoke the constantly hungry maknae’s need to put that satisfied smile back on the older boy’s face.  
  
   
  
He added a bit of olive oil into the frying pan and a bit of it bubbled up and hit him on the jaw. Rubbing at the stinging spot, he nearly has a heart attack as Yunho comes running into the kitchen, yelling in joy.  
  
  
“Changmin! Changmin! Changmin!”  
  
   
  
“Yes, yes, that’s my name, don’t wear it out.”  
  
   
  
“CHANGMIIIIIIIIIN!”  
  
   
  
The younger boy tensed as the hyper boy threw his arms around his neck. “GUESS WHAT?!”  
  
   
  
It was inevitable. He must ask. Plus, he liked that smile on Yunho’s face…he hasn’t seen him smile like that in a while.  
  
   
  
“What, hyung?”  
  
   
  
“Guess!”  
  
   
  
Changmin raised his eyebrows indicating to Yunho that he does not like playing the guessing game. So the leader dragged him into the living room and pointed at the TV screen. Playing there was Michael Jackson’s old music video “Thriller”.  
  
   
  
“So…yeah…it’s Michael Jackson. Didn’t he die last summer?”  
  
   
  
Yunho gasped. “Respect the dead! He’s the king of pop, he’ll always be alive!”  
  
   
  
Trying to smother a smile with his hand, Changmin asked, “So I’m guessing the big news has something to do with Michael Jackson?”  
  
   
  
Yunho grinned widely. “I’ve been chosen to be the Korean representative at a tribute concert for him!”  
  
   
  
Pride for his talented hyung filled Changmin’s heart. “Oh my God, that’s awesome, Yunho! I’m so happy for you! When do you start practicing?”  
  
   
  
“In a couple of weeks! But…” Yunho’s eyes lowered slightly before continuing. “Practice will be in the U.S…Los Angeles to be exact.”  
  
   
  
Changmin’s insides squeezed. “For how long?”  
  
   
  
“Two, maybe three weeks.”  
  
   
  
Now Changmin lowered his eyes. “Oh.”  
  
   
  
Feeling two warm, thin hands caress his cheeks. “I can’t stand the thought of leaving without you…I’ll call you every day, I promise.”  
  
   
  
Damn, it was going to feel weird around this place without Yunho creating chaos, but he will just have to get over it. He couldn’t stifle this irrational fear that the leader might want to leave and do his own thing from now on. But his promise to call calmed the maknae a bit.  
  
   
  
 _Maybe he won’t leave me…_  
  
   
  
A couple of hours later, Changmin let Yunho try some of the dish he had been preparing and he waiting impatiently for a reaction. When he didn’t get one immediately, Changmin felt disappointed in himself.  
  
   
  
“I knew it. It sucks.”  
  
   
  
Taking another bit of the chicken and fried rice, Yunho said happily, “I think it’s just fine. This is your first time cooking…it’s better than my utter fail!”  
  
   
  
Shaking his head, Changmin insisted that he didn’t have to eat it. But Yunho wouldn’t have it, pulling the plate closer and said adorably, “No, you cooked this for me. And I’m enjoying it. Thank you, baby.”  
  
   
  
 _Oh._ He secretly loved it when Yunho used endearments with him. But Changmin couldn’t quite get himself to do it…he wanted to. However, just the thought of saying “baby” to Yunho out loud sent tingle up his spine.  He would have to be in ecstasy to…  
  
   
  
Wait, what was he thinking! Ecstasy with Yunho? That’ll be the day! Changmin smacked himself on the forehead and retreated to his room.  
  
   
  
   
  
Yunho, like with anything he vows to do, was true to his word about calling him every day. But there was something frighteningly hallow about Yunho’s voice every time they talked. It was dripping with fake happiness, and yet when Changmin would ask him if something happened, Yunho pauses and dismiss the concern.  
  
   
  
So he spent the next few weeks without Yunho worrying about Yunho.  To top it all off, his insomnia was back and he really couldn’t keep some food down which is unusual for him. Some of the Super Junior boys would call and try to talk to him, but conversations longer than 5 minutes started to annoy him so he stopped answering his phone altogether…unless it was Yunho of course.  
  
   
  
Three weeks of awkward phone conversation with Yunho and he still didn’t know what to make of the leader’s stubborn silence about what was bothering him. Changmin spent most of his days working out…willing his irritating depression to go away.  Today, Yunho would be returning and the maknae was determined to give him a piece of his mind.  
  
   
  
   
  
Changmin walked into the apartment later that evening and spotted another pair of tennis shoes. Yunho was home already!  
  
  
He knocked on the leader’s bedroom door, finding it unusual that it was closed in the first place.  
  
   
  
“I’ll be out in a little bit, Changmin,” called a small voice.  
  
   
  
Frowning, he responded slowly, “Oh, okay…listen, I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”  
  
   
  
There was a pause. “Take your time, Minnie.”  
  
   
  
As he stepped into the shower stall, the fresh scent of Yunho’s shampoo surrounded him…he must have taken a shower when he arrived home too.  Changmin loved that smell.  
  
   
  
He heard the bathroom door open and close as he rinsed off his body of the spicy scented body wash.  Thinking it was just Yunho coming in to brush his teeth, Changmin took his time under the hot water then turned it off and opened the shower door.  
  
   
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin to see Yunho staring at him from the middle of the bathroom in nothing but a towel around his waist.  
  
   
  
 _Creepy!_ Quickly grabbing the towel hanging by the shower to cover up his private parts, Changmin stepped out of the shower and approached the tense-looking leader cautiously.  
  
   
  
“Why aren’t you dressed?”  
  
   
  
Catching the side of his lip with his teeth, Yunho’s eyes ran down the maknae’s now more sculpted body and landed on his crotch.  It was his turn to tense up. The leader was acting strangely, like he wanted something from him.  
  
   
  
 _Well, isn’t it obvious, you idiot…_  
  
   
  
 _No no no, don’t go there, Shim!_  
  
   
  
“Changmin,” Yunho said softly, stepping closer. “I’m hurting.”  
  
   
  
Eyes widening, Changmin ran his hands all over the other boy’s body to check for injuries. When Yunho shuddered, he stopped his investigation and gazed at him silently.  
  
   
  
“Would you do anything for me?”  
  
   
  
Without blinking, Changmin answer, “Of course. Anything. Where does it hurt?”  
  
   
  
Yunho pulled the younger boy’s hand closer and placed it over his heart. “Here.”  
  
   
  
Closing his eyes in agony, Changmin said desperately, “I can’t heal that, I’m sorry.”  
  
   
  
The leader shook his head as his hand slipped to the towel around his hips, where he unknotted it slowly. When it fell to the floor, Changmin’s heart skipped a beat.  
  
   
  
“I want you to…fu –fu,” Yunho paused, struggling with the word.  
  
   
  
Although he was spellbound by what was happening, the maknae couldn’t help but gouge at his cute leader’s aversion to dirty words.   
  
   
  
“Say it…unless you’re scared.”  
  
   
  
Yunho looked up in slight shock.  “F – Fuck me.”  
  
   
  
Changmin chuckled darkly. “If you’re horny, there’s always porn. If it’s about that bastard, I’m not going to indulge you…I’m not a replacement.”  
  
   
  
 “It’s not about him!”  
  
   
  
“Pray tell, then what is it about?”  
  
   
  
Silence met him. This angered him further. Grabbing the older boy by the arms, he shook him lightly. “What happened on the trip? Why won’t you tell me? Don’t you trust me?”  
  
   
  
Yunho gasped. “Nothing…uh…the fans…I just…I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want you to fuck me!”  
  
   
  
Glaring into the other’s dark brown eyes, the maknae asked, “Why?”  
  
   
  
Pressing his slim body against his and wrapped both arm around his neck tightly, Yunho answered heartbreakingly, “Because I’m tired of the emotional hurt…I wanna hurt in a different way. Make me forget, Minnie.”  
  
   
  
 _Oh shit, how was he supposed to say no to that?_  
  
   
  
He leaned slightly over, craving to finally capture those full lips between his, but Yunho turned his face away.  
  
   
  
“One condition – no kissing. Too personal.”  
  
   
  
Changmin felt a pain sting in his chest.  “Fine. You wanna be treated like a whore? Good then. No need for me to deal with any emotional shit.”  
  
   
  
He didn’t let Yunho respond, just walked him backwards into the bathroom counter. Changmin was hard now and pressed his erection against Yunho’s and grinded. The friction from the towel still on him was causing the older boy’s mouth to fall open and let out small, hiccupped gasps.  
  
   
  
Changmin caught an erect nipple with his teeth and played with the other one. He felt Yunho start to get restless, so he reached down and he grabbed Yunho’s cock to pump it rhythmically, letting the sounds the other boy was making guide his movements.    
  
   
  
The maknae let go of the nipples and gazed down at his leader’s cock. It was beautiful and, dare he admit it, cute just like the man arching against him.  
  
   
  
Changmin made to lean his head down and play with the leaking tip but Yunho stopped him.  
  
   
  
“No,” He croaked. “Per – Personal…”  
  
   
  
 _Damn it all to hell!_ Aggravated and horny beyond belief, Changmin lifted Yunho’s lithe, dancer body onto the edge of the counter started fingering the other boy’s tight entrance.  
  
   
  
“We need lube – ”  
  
   
  
Breathing hard, Yunho shook his head. “Just spit…it’s enough.”  
  
   
  
The older boy’s entrance contracted around his finger, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. Throwing off his towel, Changmin spit into his palm and pumped his own cock a few times.  
  
   
  
His loins burned as he saw Yunho sucking on his own finger and wetting his entrance with it.  The younger boy spread the long tanned legs in front of him and brought the head of his cock to the needy hole.  
  
   
  
Yunho leaned back against the counter with his head on the mirror and wrapped those legs around him.  
  
   
  
Without any preamble, Changmin shoved all the way in. Yunho couldn’t hold back his screams.  
  
   
  
 _Shit, boy, pull out, pull out…you’re hurting him!_  
  
   
  
But the boy underneath him pulled him closer with his strong legs and Changmin had no choice but to keep going. The tight heat around his cock inflamed him and made him feel…  
  
   
  
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…mmmmmmmmm…Min…Min-niiiiiiieeeeee!”  
  
   
  
Shaking out of his contemplation, Changmin began thrusting into Yunho like a primitive animal.  
  
   
  
 _In, out…out, in._  
  
   
  
He couldn’t stop, couldn’t breathe properly.  
  
   
  
The younger boy lifted the moaning boy’s small hips and pushing in at a different angle, causing Yunho to stop squirming and arch his back in a cat-like manner instead.  
  
   
  
“Oh please…please…I don’t…I’ve never…please.” The vulnerable leader dry sobs propelled the maknae to give him more and move faster at the same angle.  
  
   
  
Both boys were dripping in sweat but this animalistic dance went on for what felt like eternity, then the thread finally broke.  
  
   
  
Still thrusting hard he watched Yunho’s orgasm and felt like this boy had never experienced this level of reaction before…either that or Yunho’s incredibly sensitive. Only after the convulsions of the boy beneath him eased did Changmin let go.  
  
   
  
“Ah baby!” He released high pitched groan and explode inside the perfection beneath him.   
  
   
  
A few minutes later, he pulled out and walked backwards unsteadily.  Glancing down, he noticed a string of blood trail down Yunho’s left leg.  
  
   
  
 _Oh God._ Guilt ate away at him and he tore off some toilet paper to wipe the blood up shakily. Then, the older boy slid down the counter and onto the floor, staring vacantly at the opposite wall.  
  
   
  
Changmin gaped in dismay at Yunho and blood stained tissues in his hand.  _What the hell did I just do?  
  
  
_


	4. Part IV

Despite all the drama and heartache these past months, Yunho couldn't help the bounce in his step as he walked with his assistant through Incheon airport.  He had been filled with excitement ever since he found out he was chosen as the Korean representative for Michael Jackson's tribute concert.   
  
  
Michael Jackson is his idol, so this was beyond an honor for him.  Plus he was visiting America for the first time since the rehearsals were in Los Angeles. Yunho knew he would be the odd ball there since he spoke very little English, but he didn't care.  He only hoped they would accept him as an equal.   
  
  
As he stood in line to check in, he scrolled through the music on his iPod and settled on one of Changmin's past solo songs.  He wanted to hear the maknae's soothing voice so he doesn't feel so alone.  For the past few months especially they had been chained at the hip...he hated leaving him now, but he is sure Changmin understands and is genuinely happy for him.   
  
  
During the chorus of the song, Yunho's eyes wandered around the airport and he noticed a group of girls holding up signs and yelling things.  Smiling, thinking they were fans, Yunho pulled out his ear buds to hear them but his insides froze when his mind registered what it was hearing and seeing.  
  
   
  
                       [ “Dog of SM!!!"  
  
                  "Traitor, Go to Hell!!!"](http://truetvxq.blogspot.com/2011/02/translation-japanese-fan-at-scene-of.html)  
  
   
  
Lots of cussing ensued after those fans shouted the words on their signs.  Yunho tried to keep his expression neutral as he put his headphone back into his ear and turned away, trying to smother the urge to vomit.  Later he boarded the plane feeling completely numb.  
  
  
Before he put his phone on silent he noticed a text message from Changmin:  
  
  
"Yunnie, you forgot to pack Bambi...call if you need me."  
  
  
The numbness seemed to ease after reading the maknae’s sweet message.  Then the plane started moving so he did his customary thing of staring out the window.  Grimly, he vowed not to say anything to Changmin.  Wherever this hate is coming from, it is being directed at him, not his Minnie...he hoped it remained that way.  
  
   
  
For the next few weeks, Yunho went through the motions. The American dancers he met were nice guys who joked around with him.  
  
  
"Hi, I'm Yunho," he had introduced himself in English the first day.  
  
  
One guy with a baseball cap and a friendly face turned to his friend and said, "You know Yunho?"  
  
  
He couldn't help but laugh at that. The group of guys shook hands with him and ended up being great company during practices.  But he felt that all his smiles were forced, so he tried to keep to himself during breaks.   
  
  
Every night, Yunho called Changmin to talk about their day. He tried to keep the conversation short because Changmin became concerned when he would lapse into a tense silence.  But the younger man is not the type to pry into anyone's business.  
  
   
  
Once night as he laid in the hotel bed staring up at the ceiling, he said quietly to Changmin on the phone, "I -  I miss you...I..."  
  
  
But then a looming cloud of depression hung over him and threatened to choke him.    
  
  
"Yunnie, tell me what's wrong, please."  
  
  
But he couldn't say anything. Especially since he had called his father earlier that day and asked him how things were at home. His father said there had been some careless threats and insults against the whole family, but his father told him not to worry…that it will pass.   
After making sure his little sister was okay, Yunho hung up the phone and put his head between his hands and fought back tears. They're bashing his family too?  He could take all the insults as long as it didn't involve his family...or Changmin.  
  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Minnie," he answered dimly. "Everything's okay, just take care of yourself."  
  
  
He fell asleep that night feeling lost and alone in the cold hotel room.  
  
  
In front of people at practice, Yunho was the epitome of confidence. He learned all the routines with expert skill and could practically perform those dances in his sleep.  
  
   
  
  
Two weeks into his trip, after bidding Changmin goodnight on the phone, he stripped down and got into bed. Yunho sighed as he felt the cool sheet hit his bare skin...he loved sleeping in the nude sometimes.  His mind began to drift to many random thoughts but settled on that drunken night with Changmin...  
  
  
He remembered how the younger man pulled him into his lap and gave him sips of whiskey. Then he remembered waking up in the middle of the night on top of Changmin, feeling the ripples of muscles under him. He had stared into the maknae's handsome face and couldn't resist pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.  This had caused Changmin to shift slightly and Yunho felt the other boy's cock grow hard against him. This in turn made him hard too. Even in his haze of sleepiness, Yunho couldn't help but rub, trying to take the edge off both their erections. After that, Changmin had begun to respond, and it felt oh so delicious. Yunho remembered not being able to stop pressing his body closer.  
  
  
When he thought about how the other boy had flipped them over and grinded hard against him, pulling him closer by the waist, the leader now lying alone in a hotel room reached down to pump smoothly at his erection.  Flashes of Changmin's dark, intense expression hovering over him have him pumping faster and exploding in a matter of minutes.    
  
  
  
As he cleaned the cum off his chest, Yunho reprimanded himself for the nth time for masturbating while thinking of his precious maknae. This act of pretending nothing had happened that night was just that...an act. The only person he was fooling was Changmin.  Burying his warm face in a pillow, it hit him once again how much he had wanted Changmin to take him that night.  That's why he had been quick to anger…and Changmin's hysterical and incredulous attitude only spurred him on.  
  
  
“I know you’re used to getting some regularly, but I will not have you violate me!” Changmin had yelled.  
  
  
 _Violate him?_ Yunho had laughed, covering up his hurt at the accusation.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, Changmin. You’re the last person I’d go to for sex…”  
  
  
 _Now why had he said that? Nice going, Jung! What a great way of letting him know you actually wanted him to do nasty to you. Cause guys are all about reading between the lines and subtlety._ Yunho smacked himself on the forehead just thinking about it.  
  
  
But then he had to go and be an idiot once again by stating firmly, “At least some stranger would have given me what I wanted!”  
  
  
 Of course, shrewd Changmin saw through that right away.  
  
  
“And that’s what exactly? A nice fuck?”  
  
  
Yunho’s only response had been to glare at him.  
  
  
“I thought you said I’m the last person you’d have sex with?”  
  
  
 _Genius bastard!_ But damn if it didn’t turn him on even more!  
  
  
Yunho sighed and rolled over. All he could do was smother down these feelings.  It just wasn't right to lust after the baby of the group...especially after engaging in a complicated love affair with the oldest member for almost 3 years.  Besides, Changmin didn't even want him in that way.  That last thought left him with a depressed feeling and it took him a while to fall asleep.  
  
  
  
  
When the grueling rehearsals ended and it was finally time to go home, Yunho sat in the hotel room playing with his phone, waiting for his ride to the airport to arrive. That numbness overtook his body again, making him stare vacantly at a wall. He had gotten a hold of a laptop the day before and, out of curiosity, ended up doing the stupidest thing in the world...he searched "Jung Yunho - bashing".  He had wasted hours reading horrible comments - very few were in his defense.  
  
  
  
Yunho already spent day in and day out blaming himself for their group falling apart - he is after all the leader. It is his responsibility to worry and care for his members...and most importantly, to keep the bond between them strong and to always conserve order.   
  
  
But to have fans agree he is a bad leader solidifies his failures in his mind, and it brings back that feeling of numbness and wave of nausea again.  Jung Yunho has never failed at anything...he always strives to give his best at anything.  However, the one thing in his life that he lives and breathes for -- leader of Dong Bang ShinKi -- he comes off looking like an incompetent fool.  
  
  
 _Did I do my best? Or could I have done more to save the group?_ Yunho had to repress the urge to cry when he concluded he hadn’t done enough.  _I am an incompetent fool!_  
  
  
Then his phone rang. It was Changmin.  
  
  
“Hey, Yunnie, you’re coming home today, aren’t you?”  
  
  
 _Oh that beautiful voice._ Just hearing it makes everything seem a lot better. “Yeah, I’m waiting for my ride to the airport now.”  
  
  
“Good. Good. You’ve been staying out of trouble?” Changmin asked in mockingly serious tone.  
  
  
Yunho smiled. “Yup, no Jung Yunho disasters here!”  
  
  
“Well, that’s a miracle.”  
  
  
“Hey!”  
  
  
And they continued to spar like that until his assistant came in and announced it was time to leave. So he said goodbye to Changmin and hopped in the car.  
  
  
It was only when he boarded the plane that he realized that smile never left his face. What was it about Changmin that made him forget his troubles?  
  
  
As the plane took off and began its steady humming, Yunho settled back into his seat and continued thinking about Changmin.  He missed sharing a room with the sarcastic maknae.  But after that drunken incident, they had agreed it was best to leave their old apartment (which only brought on bad memories) and move into a new apartment with two separate bedrooms.  The only good thing about it is Yunho gets nagged less often since his room was his territory now.   
But he would take back all that extra nagging in a heartbeat if only Changmin would hold him in his arms again.  Everyone knows Yunho as the manly and strong leader, but they don’t realize how much he needs and desires to be taken care of.  Being a naturally touchy person, Yunho has been held by many people, but nothing compares to the strength and warmth of Shim Changmin’s arms.   
  
  
Funny, how a boy younger than him has the ultimate power to chase away all his nightmares and worries.  He laid his head back and fell asleep imagining Changmin wrapped around him.  
  
  
When he arrived home many hours later, it was around 7pm in Seoul.  He put his bags down and walked quickly to Changmin's room -- but it was empty.  He must be at the gym...the maknae had become obsessed with exercising these past couple months.   
  
  
Yunho looked dolefully around the room.  The computer was humming and frozen on a screen cap of some computer game which Yunho sucked at playing.  Books of different languages were scattered all over the desk.  Nothing was out of the ordinary in the room except for the small, stuffed animal lying on the bed.    
  
  
"Bambi, what are you doing here?" Yunho asked the inanimate object.  
  
  
Bambi's glassy, doe eyes stared back at him as if to say "I missed you!" He hugged her to his chest and breathed in her scent.  She smelled like Changmin.  How he had missed that boy.  He felt his manhood twitch slightly as his thoughts drifted to that night he found blissful release with the beautiful maknae.   
  
  
The last time he’d had sex was with Jaejoong before the trio moved out.  He remembered the slight pain, and lack of explosive the orgasm that men always rave about.  Of course Yunho did find release with him, but it was more about getting off due to the closeness of another person stimulating your body.   
  
  
Sometimes he wondered if there was something physically wrong with him…and now he burned with curiosity wondering if it would be the same with Changmin.  He had felt a little something extra that night with him… and Yunho wanted to feel those sensations again more than anything.   His entire body buzzed with the anticipation as he was determined to get what he wanted tonight.      
  
  
Hurriedly, Yunho ran to the bathroom to take a quick but thorough shower.  Then drying himself, he walked quickly to his room and shut the door behind him.  Laying his head back against the door, he tried to calm his nerves down.  Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard and Yunho put a hand to his heart.  When Changmin's voice called out to him from the other side his heart started beating faster. He loved that voice...  
  
  
A few minutes later when he walked into the steamy bathroom and propositioned Changmin, it felt almost like an out-of-body experience.  He never thought he would ever stand in front of this boy and say "Fuck me."    
  
  
But Changmin being Changmin had to be stubborn and put up a fight.  “If you’re horny, there’s always porn. If it’s about that bastard, I’m not going to indulge you…I’m not a replacement.”  
  
  
“It’s not about him!”  
  
  
And it wasn’t.  This had nothing to do with Jaejoong and everything to do with the fact that any kind of emotional hurt Yunho ever feels can be cured by just being with Changmin.  For years the younger boy had been his silent supporter, and lately he has become his escape from the cruelty of the outside world.     
  
  
When Changmin grabs him and says desperately, “What happened on the trip? Why won’t you tell me? Don’t you trust me?” Yunho had started to panic.  
  
  
  
Don’t tell him anything, Jung! Protect him from all the animosity! “Nothing…uh…the fans…I just…I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want you to fuck me!”  
  
  
 Stubborn as ever, Changmin asked, “Why?”  
  
  
Yunho couldn’t take it anymore.  All he wanted was release…release from all depressing thoughts…release from his inner turmoil.  
  
  
Wrapping his arms around Changmin’s neck, he cries out the truth in his heart, “Because I’m tired of the emotional hurt…I wanna hurt in a different way. Make me forget, Minnie.”  
  
  
His heart felt lighter as he saw the younger man practically melt right in front of him, but when he leaned forward to kiss him, Yunho panicked again.  
  
  
 _No! No! I can’t…please don’t kiss me_ , Yunho silently pleaded in his mind.  
  
  
“One condition – no kissing. Too personal.”  
  
  
He had not even planned on saying that, but it automatically came out of his mouth.  Changmin got defensive but then pushed him against the counter and started doing things to his body that made his cock swell and leak…as if the beautiful younger boy knew all the right buttons to press.  
  
  
But when the hungry maknae started to lean down and take his aching manhood in his mouth, Yunho stopped him.  
  
  
 _Keep it impersonal as possible, Jung…protect yourself and him from more hurt!_  
  
  
Changmin seemed upset but fiercely lifted Yunho to lay him on the edge of the counter anyway.   
  
  
You know, they say that the way you have sex, reflects your personality.  Shim Changmin fucks passionately and selfishly at the same time.  Each thrust spoke to him…touched every part of him.  
  
  
Then something magical happened.  The panting maknae held on to his waist tighter and brushed something inside him that made him arch into him, his hole clenching around Changmin’s cock as the thrusts became faster and harder.  
  
  
“Oh please…please…I don’t…I’ve never…please.”  
  
  
 _I’m dying…I know I’m dying…what is this feeling? Oh God, Minnie, please don’t stop!_  
  
  
Yunho was not aware of how long it took for his orgasm to hit, but when it did, he saw stars.  Never in his life has he felt such an intense sexual release.  It was like a dam broke and a flood raged on inside him.  
  
  
Minutes later, he felt gentle hands clean the mess running down his legs, and as he slid down to sit on the floor, Yunho’s only thought was: _More. Please don’t leave me. More_.  
  
  
  
This thought scared him but before he could snap about of his daydream, he heard the bathroom door burst open- Changmin had run out with a towel around his waist.  
  
  
  
Curling up in a ball on the floor, Yunho contemplated following him.   
  
  
 _No, give him space, Jung._ Changmin was probably scared shitless too of this newfound thing between them.  
  
  
  
Exhaustion floated over him softly and before he knew it, his eyes were drifting shut with nothing but a happy, glowing feeling all around him.  
  
   
  
  
  
  
When Yunho woke up the next morning, he was tucked into his bed, warm under the covers.  Changmin must have carried me to bed, he thought drowsily.   
  
  
Getting out of bed was difficult when a sharp pain hit his lower back and ass the moment he tried standing up.  But he managed to wince his way into a clean pair of boxers and limp slightly out of his room.  
  
  
He found Changmin sitting in the kitchen staring blankly at his glass of milk.  Startled when he saw Yunho enter, he immediately stood up as a gentleman would do for a lady in those old English movies.  
  
  
Yunho felt those expressive, watchful eyes on him as he nervously open the fridge to get some eggs so he could make an omelet for breakfast.  A slightly larger hand cover his and grabbed the eggs instead.  
  
  
“Please go sit down,” Changmin said faintly, unable to make any eye contact.  “I’ll make it.”  
  
  
Nodding, Yunho wordlessly sat down at the table and watched him cook.  Changmin was so meticulous, so good with detailed work…which is why he is more successful at cooking than him.  Yunho watched as the younger boy slammed down the frying pan and other things harsher than necessary.  To him, Changmin looked haggard…handsomely so of course, but still haggard…like he had not gotten a good night’s sleep.  
  
  
Yunho knew he had to approach this inevitable discussion about last night carefully.  Yunho also knew himself better than anyone…he knew how attached he can become to a person…how easily he can trust and give out his heart.  In the past Yunho would have found it impossible to have unemotional sex…he only believed in the sanctity love making.  
  
  
 _And look where that got you! A broken heart!_  
  
  
An abrupt string of curses interrupted thoughts.  Changmin had spilt some egg yolk on the stove as he cracked open a shell.  Yunho saw him glance covertly at him then quickly avert his eyes when he noticed the older boy was watching him.  Yunho hid a smile by taking a large gulp from Changmin's glass of milk.    
  
  
Yunho could easily fall for this handsome, rough-around-the-edges boy, but he refuses to make the same mistake twice.  He is going to protect his hearts this time.    
  
  
After a few minutes the eggs were done and Changmin approached him cautiously with the frying pan in one hand and a spatula in another.  
  
  
"Here you go, hyung. Want anything to drink? Besides my milk?"  
  
  
Yunho arched an eyebrow at the unintentional innuendo.  
  
  
"I- I mean that milk! Damn, hyung, I didn't mean it like that!"  
  
  
He couldn't stop the chuckle rising up in his chest.  "Oh, but I'm enjoying your milk...very rich and...delicious."  
  
  
Changmin raised his head from the table to stare at him speechlessly.  "Yunho..."  
  
  
Embarrassed by his own comment, Yunho looked down at the eggs on his plate as he chewed another bite.  He heard a chair slide back and when he looked up Changmin was attempting to leave the kitchen.  
  
  
 _Oh no, you don't!_  
  
  
Standing up quickly with a wince, Yunho grabbed Changmin by the arm.  "Please, Minnie...please don't."  
  
  
Sighing, the younger man turned back to him.  "Don't what?"  
  
  
"Let's not make this more than what it was...I don't want things to become awkward."  
  
  
Changmin looked at him in disbelief.  "What happened to the romantic idealist I used to know?"  
  
  
He stepped up closer to him and responded, "He’s dead."  
  
  
"Oh so now you’re into one-night stands, huh?” Changmin asked sarcastically.  
  
  
Yunho pulled the other boy back to sit at the table. “Call it whatever you want…I just don’t want this to be an emotional…affair.”  
  
  
The maknae continued to look at him in disbelief. “Affair? Um, what happened last night was a mistake…a terrible mistake that shall never be repeated again!”  
  
  
Yunho sat on Changmin’s lap very carefully and gazed into those big, chestnut eyes. “Is being with me so terrible?”  
  
  
The younger boy groaned in frustration.  “No, damn it! That’s the problem! Look how I hurt you last night!”  
  
  
Changmin grabbed his waist and squeezed, which caused Yunho to wince. “See. It is never happening again, you hear me?”  
  
  
 _We’ll see about that, my beautiful, tenacious maknae!_  
  
  
But Yunho wasn’t stupid enough to insight a challenge like that to Changmin.  The boy would only become more hard-headed about the whole thing and probably never touch him again just on principle.  
  
  
Yunho didn’t answer him, just changed the topic to food. “You hungry?”  
  
  
“No, thank you!” Changmin said with his nose in the air.  
  
  
Yunho rolled his eyes. _Charming…How I love prissy!Changmin!_  
  
  
Forking some scrambled eggs and raising it to Changmin’s mouth, he stated firmly, “I’m not going to let you go hid out in your room until I’m out of sight and then come in here to eat. I won’t have you make this awkward, Minnie. Now open up!”  
  
  
Glaring at him, Changmin opened his mouth anyway and accepted the food.  “I hate you.”  
  
  
“I know.” And Yunho hoped it stayed this way because falling love was not an option anymore.  
  
  
  
  
For a week, Yunho didn’t feel Changmin’s sensual touch.  But if that boy thought the leader was just going to sit back ideally, waiting for it to happen, he’s got another thing coming!  
  
  
As a counter-attack, every night Yunho snuck into Changmin’s bed and cuddled up to his back.  The younger boy never turned around.  He would tense slightly, but then eventually relax in his embrace.  By the time the sunrises Changmin would be spooning him and pressing his nose into the back of his neck, which resulted in a nice morning erection for both them.   
  
  
Nevertheless, the maknae never acted on these reactions.  He would run to the bathroom the moment he wakes and leaves an aching Yunho on the warm bed.  And he didn’t want to pressure the other boy because you just don’t pressure a person like Changmin—the more he feels cornered, the more he will resist and withdrawal.  No, best let him initiate the sex.    
  
   
  
  
One evening, Yunho was home alone while Changmin was away avoiding him at the gym.  He thought about going out too, but he was too tired.  Recently preparing and completing the Michael Jackson tribute concert had exhausted him.  But Changmin had been so proud of him—he came to watch and then took him out for ice cream after every show!   
  
  
  
This surprised him because the younger boy knows how sugar makes him hyper.  Then again, Changmin is the only one that can handle a hyper!Yunho—he took all the excited chatter and touchy-feely actions in stride.  Sometimes when they walked back home from the ice cream shop near their apartment, Yunho would grab onto Changmin’s arm and it felt so… _couple-like_ that it quickly became awkward and he would let go.  
  
  
  
Anyways, instead of going out that evening, he decided to take a nice, long relaxing bubble bath.  He knew he would eventually get bored in there though, so he took his laptop in the bathroom.  Yunho let the laptop sit on the edge of the tub and laid back to read some Korean news.  But soon he got bored with that, and searched something about his latest concert…to read some reviews on it.    
  
  
  
One link led to another and he found himself on some forum.  A quick glance at the comments left him with a gut-wrenching pain in his stomach.  
  
  
  
  
 _[I really thought TVXQ was meaningless without all 5.... crazy ... No, on second thought, (TVXQ) don't need you and CM. TVXQ will do well...Aren't Junsu and Jaejoong more than enough for singing? Yoochun can write songs, so don't need to worry about him... how about you?.. Fans complemented you for live performances and dancing, but you fucking do acting.. but your drama bombed LOL  Ur living like a loser...  
  
  
Jung Yunho fucking hate him. Not even interested in Shim Changmin.  
  
  
They don't even know how to sing.  
  
  
They should be stoned to death for betraying their friends!  
  
  
I'll build a tomb made of rock as big as your greed for you, so wait!](http://truetvxq.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-homin-was-bashed.html)_  
  
  
  
  
  
The death threats had him raising his knees from the bubbles and laying his head on them.  
  
  
 _Don’t cry, Jung! Take this like a man. They don’t know the truth! It’s not their fault!_  
  
  
Then a yell escaped him as an electric shock run through his body.  At first he thought that was part of his inner turmoil, but then realized his laptop had fallen into the water.  He tried to get it out but electricity was running through his body, making him tremble. Then darkness took over and he sank slowly into the water.  
  
  
  
A haze of consciousness came back to Yunho as soft lips breathed into his and two strong hands shook him.  
  
  
"Yunho! Yunho! You better not be dead or I'll kill you!"  
  
  
Moaning, he opened his eyes and only saw large, brown ones staring back at him. He tried to smile, and croaked, "Oh Minnie..."  
  
  
"Oh Minnie? That's all you have to say for yourself?" Changmin dragged him up to lean on the counter, wrapped him in a towel, and lifted him off his feet bridal style.  
  
  
  
"What the hell were you trying to do? Kill yourself?”  The irate maknae continued ranting as he carried him away. "Who in their right mind takes anything electric into the tub with them? If I didn't comeback at the right moment to hear you yell, you would have died! You know how clumsy you are, why would you take a laptop in there?!"  
  
  
  
Yunho just laid his cloudy head on the muscular shoulder and gripped the wet t-shirt under his fingers.  He soon found himself lying in Changmin's bed and a glass of water pressed to his mouth.  He gulped down as much as he could and then lazily fell back onto the pillow.  Chanmgin tucked him into the covers and tried to smother down the electrocuted spiked up hair on top of his head.  
  
  
"I'm gonna go shower. Don't.Move. I'll be out in a few minutes."  
  
  
  
Yunho just laid there blinking up at the ceiling, waiting and hoping Changmin comes back to hold him.  And he does. Yunho is pulled with his back against a hard, muscular chest and arm under his head.    
  
  
"Sleep, Yunnie."  
  
  
"Sing to me," he mumbled.  
  
  
Yunho fell asleep to the sound of Changmin tender voice.  
  
   
  
  
  
The next morning, the post-electrocuted boy woke up to hardness pressed up against his bare ass.  A hand was caressing his chest and making its way down to stroke his semi-erect penis.   
  
  
Yunho groaned and tilted his head back.  
  
  
“Ahhhhhh, Min please…again…fuck me again!”  
  
  
Changmin growled and stroked him faster. This caused Yunho to grip the back of the other boy’s head closely to his exposed neck.  The younger man latched his mouth to the inviting skin and bit at it lightly.  
  
  
“Ohhhhh…now please, plea-AH!”  
  
  
A slick finger was inserted into his hole, moving in and out.  A few seconds later another finger is added, then another.  Yunho couldn’t stop whining and pushing his ass into those long fingers.   
  
  
Suddenly, Changmin stopped finger fucking him and moved away from him slightly.  Yunho reached out behind him to bring him back.  
  
  
“Using lotion,” a raspy voice said in his ear. “Need lube…for next time.”  
  
  
 _So there’ll be a next time!_ Yunho almost shouted in victory, but didn’t have time to celebrate as Changmin’s long cock slid easily into him.  
  
  
“Oh oh oh oh…oh my God…oh my God! Missed this…so much…more!”  
  
  
Yunho was a babbling, horny mess as Changmin fucked him ruthlessly from behind, lifting the older boy’s leg further back to angle him just right. There it was again. That magical spot the maknae has amazing skill in aiming for like hitting a bull’s eye each time in a game of darts.  
  
  
The hand on his leg slid back to his cock and timed the stroking with each thrust. Yunho could barely breathe anymore…his mouth was hanging open gasping for air.  
  
  
“Cum for me,” Changmin whispered in his ear. As if on command, Yunho exploded in the younger boy’s hand yelling out his name.  
  
  
The thrusts became shallow and then hot liquid filled his ass…an amazing sensation that had Yunho grinding backwards to draw more cum out of the panting boy behind him.  
  
  
He felt a kiss on his cheek drawing closer and closer to his lips.  Yunho’s eyes sprang open and he pushed away causing the younger boy’s softening cock to slip out of him.  
  
  
Changmin was staring at him with a slight glare.  “Still no kissing, huh?”  
  
  
Yunho shook his head and moved to draw the sheets over his waist. He jumped when Changmin halted his movement and held his face with both hands.  
  
  
“We’re doing this again,” he stated plainly.  
  
  
Surprised but pleased, Yunho placed his hand on top of the ones on his cheeks. “Oh? I thought it was a terrible mistake that shall never be repeated again?”  
  
  
“Well, now it’s a terrible mistake that will be repeated again, okay?” Changmin said with a reluctant resolve. “And about this whole no kissing thing, fine. I’ll go along with it…for now. But don’t expect me to stop from doing…other stuff, as it pleases me.”  
  
  
“What other stuff?”  
  
  
Changmin smirked. “You’ll see.”  
  
  
A shiver ran up Yunho’s spine.  
  
  
  
  
For the months that passed the _MinHo relationship_ , as fans would call it, played out exactly as two people having an illicit affair in the movies.  Although they couldn’t perform, Yunho was busy with modeling activities and Changmin took some time off for studying and occasional modeling jobs.  But when they saw each other in the evening, they used their apartment as a backdrop for all their sexual activities.  
  
  
Yunho found out very soon what Changmin meant by other stuff.  The maknae currently had him tied to the bed, sucking on his cock.   
  
  
It is well-known the younger boy has an oral fixation with things, thus his obsession with food.  Well, it seems that this oral fixation extends to blowjobs, and it appears the younger boy thinks Yunho’s dick is a lollipop.   
  
  
“Ah ah ah…Minnie!”  
  
  
Releasing his cock with a loud pop, Changmin ordered, “No, don’t cum yet. I want you to ride me.”  
  
  
Yunho moaned. And boy did he ride the maknae hard that night.  It was even more blissful at this angle…the leader was in control but at the same time totally out of control.  Large hands stayed on his hips, guiding and steadying as Yunho lunged onto the cock inside him until hot cum shot up his ass.  He too exploded all over the younger boy’s chest then collapsed on top of him.  
  
  
They were both sweaty and sticky but Changmin still wrapped his arms around him let him fall into sweet slumber on top of him.  
  
  
  
Their sexual escapades took an unexpected turn when he took a role in the new “Goong” musical and Changmin was offered a lead role in a new drama called “Paradise Ranch”.  He stayed close to home for his rehearsals and performances, but his handsome boyfriend (was he allowed to call him that?) had to go on location for filming and so Yunho never saw him due to Changmin staying on Jeju island until the shooting was over.   
  
  
The leader couldn’t take only having steamy phone sex every evening, so he decided to go visit him on-set.  He brought along Kyuhyun from Super Junior and Minho from SHINee…they both really wanted to see Changmin and he could use them as a great cover up for making the long trip from Seoul to Jeju Island.    
  
  
When he arrived on set with the other two boys, his maknae’s face screamed _what the fuck are you doing here?_  
  
  
Yunho greeted him enthusiastically with a hug and then floated off to introduce himself to the crew, leaving Changmin speechless with a Kyuhyun and Minho by his side.  Later, as he hung out and watched him in one of his scenes, Yunho could tell he had made the younger boy nervous with his visit.   
  
  
Changmin eventually warmed up though and the four of them enjoyed a nice dinner together after shooting was over for the day.  They all went back to the hotel Changmin was staying at and it was suggested (by Changmin himself) that Kyuhyun and Minho could sleep on the couches and Yunho could share the bed with the young actor.  
  
  
The moment the bedroom door closed it was clear the air was tense.  But he didn’t let the passively angry boy say a word.  Just dropped down to his knees and unzipped the jeans in front of him.  
  
  
“What-what are you doing?!” Changmin demanded quietly.  
  
  
“What does it look like I’m doing?” And then promptly took the semi-hard dick into his mouth.   
  
  
He had done this to Jaejoong in the past, but his former band member never let him get very far…he was always more interested in getting to the actual fucking instead.   
  
  
But the boy he was with now was stroking his hair gently and encouraging him to continue sucking.   
  
  
Changmin tried to get his mouth to open wider, letting his cock hit the back of Yunho’s throat.   
  
  
“Ever deep-throated before?” Changmin gasped out.  
  
  
Yunho nodded as best as he could with a dick in his mouth.   
  
  
“You seem to be…ahhhhh…struggling though.”  
  
  
 _Well, of course I’m struggling! You’re huge!_ He wanted to say but instead mimed a “long pipe” with both of his hands.  
  
  
Changmin froze and pulled out of Yunho’s mouth with a little suction.  “Are you saying that I’m bigger than him?”  
  
  
Throat too sore to speak, Yunho nodded again.  
  
  
There was a satisfied, glazed look in the maknae’s eyes while he sank down onto the floor with him.   
  
  
“Do you like this big dick fucking you, Yunnie?” Changmin said like straight out of a porno.   
  
  
As outrageous as it was, it turned him immensely.  
  
  
And just like any other uke in those movies, Yunho moaned in anticipation and laid back on the floor with his legs spread.  
  
  
For the next hour, the older boy bit down on Changmin’s biceps to keep from screaming in pleasure.  
  
  
Needless to say, the bossy maknae let leader-sshi visit one other time after that (which resulted in an endless romp between the sheets again) but then firmly insisted “Don’t come to the filming location unless you’ve made yourself an appointment.”  
  
  
  
  
Amongst all the sex, real life occasionally hit them hard.  SM informed them that AVEX decided to drop TVXQ and take on a new group called JYJ…three guesses as to who JYJ are.  After that they found out JYJ were performing in Japan, calling the concert _Thanksgiving Live in Dome_. Moreover, they will also be participating at A-Nation.  
  
  
 _Why couldn’t they have done this together as five? Why did it have to come to this?_ Yunho cried out in his heart. _What did I do wrong?_  
  
  
  
He and Changmin fucked harder than ever now.  It wasn’t just about getting off or finding release anymore.  It was about not feeling alone, not feeling as if you will never live your dream again…because at least they had each other.  
  
  
One night after they made lo- had sex, Changmin attempted steal a kiss from him as he pretty much always tried to do- to catch him off guard.  
  
  
But Yunho always pulled away.  This time the younger boy did not take it lightly.  
  
  
“Yes, just continue to reject me because I’m not perfect like ** _him_**! Why don’t you go back to him then? Why even bother with me, damn it?! Why don’t you just leave me alone?”  
  
  
Changmin then laid back on the bed, staring coldly at the ceiling while tears ran down his cheeks.  
  
  
It felt like a fist was squeezing all the air out of his lungs.  He couldn’t stand to see Changmin cry.  
  
  
“Baby…baby,” Yunho chanted as he kissed those tears away. “Let’s not turn against each other…I need you. I’m never leaving you.”  
  
  
“You don’t know that…”  
  
  
“Oh, I don’t know that? You think I don’t wake up every morning scared you might finally realize you’re on the losing team? That it might have been best for your career to just leave with them?”  
  
  
Changmin finally looked at him, frowning deeply.  “What the hell are you on about?”  
  
  
Yunho leaned back against the headboard and said hopelessly, “I’m the weakest link. My voice isn’t very good…I can’t act either. I can dance, but it’s more out of sheer desperation to do my best. Guys like Junsu who can sing and dance have a better shot at being successful.”  
  
  
The younger boy sat shoulder to shoulder with him now, but continued listening with that same frown on his face.  
  
  
“I’m just dragging you down with me, Changmin.  You’ve got a strong voice…you’re doing marvelously in your drama role. I-I’m just not good enough. I can’t even lead five guys very well.”  
  
  
After a brief pause, Changmin asked, “Are you finished with your speech of self-deprecation?”  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“I need you to shut up and listen cause I’m only going to say this once: You’re one of the best leaders out there…no one could have led Dong Bang ShinKi like you.  When a few act up to usurp their government it is out of anyone’s control, even if that person is the leader. We were betrayed, and yes I will probably never be able to trust those 3 again.”  
  
  
After saying this, he dragged Yunho to lay flat on his back and began licking at his nipples.  The leader gasped and arched into that mouth.  Changmin then lifted his head to stare at his face as he slid a hand down to Yunho’s awakening cock and started stroking slowly.  
  
  
“And you can’t sing, eh?” Yunho let out a high-pitched “Oh!” and “Ah!”  
  
  
“There. See. I just made you hit a note out of your vocal range.”  
  
  
Changmin continued talking after taking a quick lick at the head of his penis.  “Your failed drama had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the script.  If you can’t act, then there would not have been an offer to do a musical, which requires singing by the way!”  
  
  
The wicked maknae spread Yunho’s legs and settled himself in between them.  He had slicked up his fingers with lube and was now inserting them into the older boy.  
  
  
“That’s it, Yunnie. Sing for me, baby.”  
  
  
“Oh Minnie, why are you doing this?!” Yunho cried out in ecstasy.  
  
  
“Because you’ve been listening too much to what the anit-fans say and not enough to what the people who care about you say.”  
  
  
The fingers inside him disappeared but quickly replaced with Changmin’s glorious cock.   
  
  
“Oh and by the way, don’t mention one their names in bed again,” the boy plunging into him said. “They’re dead to me. You are my focus now…my only focus.”  
  
  
 _What have I done to deserve such loyalty from this boy?_  
  
  
Yunho wrapped his arms around Changmin’s neck and held on for the ride.  
  
  
  
  
The next day, Yunho and Changmin walked into the recording studio for the first time in a long time and faced one of SM’s major composers.   
  
  
“Boys, you’re gonna need to find harmony. Practice blending your voices together today, then we’ll talk about new songs.”  
  
  
Changmin spoke up, “But I’m a tenor and he’s a bass…how is this going to work?”  
  
  
The composer responded, “You just need to practice together…try different notes…see what works best.”  
  
  
Yunho glanced at Changmin’s discouraged expression then towards a private room in the back.  
  
  
“Come on, Minnie,” he said dragging the other boy away by the hand.  
  
  
Minutes later, they played different songs on the stereo and tried to match each other’s voice.   
  
  
But they kept failing and getting frustrated.  
  
  
Changmin sighed and put his head on the table.  Yunho raked his brain to think of how to make this work.  Suddenly, a flash of him and Changmin facing each other to sing a small duet popped in this head.  
  
  
“Love in the Ice!”  
  
  
The younger boy looked up startled. “What?”  
  
  
“Our short duet in ‘Love in the Ice’…let’s just sing that for now.”  
  
  
With a shrug, Changmin nodded.  
  
  
They both hummed out the melody first then began singing. When they finished, the silence was deafening as they stared at one another.  
  
  
Then together sung the melodic sounds of the “Ah Ah Ah-Ah-Ah… Ah Ah Ah-Ah-Ah…” part of the song.  
  
  
“Beautiful,” they both simultaneously whispered afterwards, while sitting close together playing with each other’s fingers.  
  
  
 _Who knew._


	5. Part V

_fourty-eight…fourty-nine…fifty!_  
  
  
Changmin grunted as he laid the long iron bar back on the rack.  Sweat was dripping down his face and his arm muscles ached.  A petite girl smiled at him coyly as he passed her to enter the men’s locker room.  He ignored her.  _Sorry, not interested, sweetheart…not unless you go by the name Yunho._  
  
   
  
The angry young man began cursing that dratted man in his head as he dried the sweat off his face with a towel.  After the rape incident, and yes, Changmin was determined to call it rape since he had taken advantage of a man that barely knew what he wanted through his haze of grief.  And to top it all off, he left him alone on the bathroom floor after fucking his brains out.   
   
So, anyway, after the rape incident it seemed that Jung Yunho was doing all he could to seduce him.  
  
   
  
Throwing his dirty towel angrily into his bag, Changmin put his head between his hands and thought about the slow torturing he’s had to endure the past couple of weeks.  An hour after the incident, he had carried a sleeping Yunho to bed and watched a cute, unconscious pout form and an arm reach out to him.  Only by the power of Buddha had he been able to resist climbing into that bed and pulling the older boy against him.   
   
  
The following day, Yunho refused to accept rejection and so opted to sit in his lap and feed him.  _That sneaky bastard._   He knew food was his weakness!   
  
   
Resistance after that was futile, for Yunho climbed into his bed every night to snuggle against his back.  And every night, as the seductive boy’s long legs tangled with his, nose buried in the back of his neck, Changmin prayed for the patience to not turn around and tear the flimsy t-shirt and boxers off that delicious body.  
  
   
  
Sighing, he stood up to undress so he could shower.  His hand paused though when a foreboding feeling crept up his spine.  The clumsy leader had been left to his own devices at home for couple of hours…who knows what kind of crap he could have gotten himself into.  Rushing to pack his bag, Changmin raced out the door and to his car.  
  
  
   
Ten minutes later, Changmin felt like his heart was being stabbing by a knife as he pulled Yunho’s unconscious body out of the tub.  The moment he stepped through the door and heard a shout of pain, he ran like hell to look for the cause of it.   
   
  
And now, barely giving it a second thought, Changmin swopped down and began giving Yunho mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  Registering the fullness and sweetness of those lips made the frantic young man more determined to get the precious older boy breathing and smiling again.  As he used his palms pump the other’s chest, Changmin noticed a power cord hanging in the bath water.  
  
   
  
 _Damn it all to hell! This guy needs a babysitter 24/7!_  
  
  
At mid-pump, Yunho's breathing regulated again.  Changmin breathed a sigh of relief as he stood to drain the tub and retrieve the wet laptop carefully.  Glancing at Yunho and seeing how he was still unconscious but at least breathing steadily, Changmin placed the laptop on the floor and observed how it was still sparkling with electricity and the webpage on the screen was flickering.  It’s like the computer was trying to hang on for dear life but the water filled up inside it was killing its system.   
   
  
Glancing curiously at the flashing words on the webpage, Changmin honestly couldn’t believe the audacity of what he was reading.   
   
  
So that’s what has been upsetting Yunho! _Damn, haters, don’t they have a life?!_    
   
  
Yunho is always targeted the most, always.  An image of his precious leader laying pale in a hospital bed popped in his mind suddenly, but Changmin shook himself against that horrible memory.  
   
  
Before he could read anymore comments, the screen flickered off.  _Ahhhh, just as well…no need to add more doubt and anger to our already crumbling career._  
   
  
A sudden moan startled him.  He rushed over to Yunho and stared down at that small, almost delicate face…the other boy seemed to be struggling to wake up.  As Changmin tried to shake him awake, he couldn’t help but sneak in a soft kiss at those full lips again.   
   
  
Yunho then slowly opened his dark liquid brown eyes.  The way the boy on the floor blinked back innocently caused a strike of fear into his heart.  In turn, this caused a rage inside him at Yunho’s childishness.  
   
  
Changmin ranted and raved at the older boy’s stupid actions as he carried him to the bedroom and laid him on the bed.  After getting him some water and noting the adorable way Yunho’s hair stuck up from being electrocuted, Changmin decided to take a quick shower before slipping into bed and cuddling Yunho against him.  
   
  
“Sing to me.”  
   
  
And the younger boy’s singing lulled both of them to sleep.  
   
   
  
   
Changmin woke up the next morning with Yunho’s warm body tucked into his and his cock hard as a rock.  He wanted him again…he couldn’t take the temptation anymore.   
   
  
This boy has been right beside him since what it feels like forever.  Somehow that friendship turned into desire…a desire that had laid dormant inside him for years until it finally snuck up on him.   
   
  
As he stroked Yunho into hardness and fingered his entrance, Changmin admitted to himself how much he needed this.  He was going to stop feeling guilty about the incident and stop resisting what him and this beautiful withering boy in his arms desperately want.   
  
   
Afterwards, Yunho pulled away when he tried to kiss him.  Not that Changmin was a romantic or anything, but he couldn’t help the frustration that arose in him.   
   
  
He had witnessed _that other boy_ kiss Yunho numerous times…it annoyed the hell out of him that he wasn’t allowed to do that same.  But he wasn’t going to force it…he will win Yunho over slowly.  Eventually, he will get to taste those lips completely.  
  
   
 Changmin made sure to make his intentions clear by stating, “We’re doing this again”.  
  
   
“Oh? I thought it was a terrible mistake that shall never be repeated again?”  
  
   
The younger boy answered, seeing no point in beating around the bush, “Well, now it’s a terrible mistake that will be repeated again, okay? And about this whole no kissing thing, fine. I’ll go along with it…for now. But don’t expect me to stop from doing…other stuff, as it pleases me.”  
   
  
“What other stuff?”  
  
  
  
  
“You’ll see,” he said while smirking.   
   
   
  
Now, Shim Changmin is not gay.  He has never been attracted to another guy in a sexual way before.  Yunho seems to be the exception of course.  And he doesn’t know much about gay sex either.  Everything he has been doing with Yunho so far has been led by pure instincts.  But there were many other things he was interested in doing like blowjobs and various positions.   
  
  
After that day, Changmin looked up gay porn on the internet for the first time in his life.  He learned about the prostrate, that spot inside Yunho he strokes with his finger and penis which causes the older boy to moan and thrust back with wild abandon.  He learned the best techniques for sucking cock…the tip seems to be the most sensitive part.  And so on…   
  
   
Really now, who said porn wasn’t educational?  
  
   
One thing Changmin found unusual about his intense attraction towards Yunho was his obsession with his leader’s cock.  Never in his life has he looked at another man’s equipment and wanted to suck it.  But Yunho’s is…it’s so gorgeous.   
   
  
Especially when it twitches and leaks at the tip, he thought one night as he licked and kissed his way up Yunho’s length.  
   
  
Changmin told to Yunho to ride him that night.  Ride him like he was a fucking stallion!  
   
   
Damn, but gazing up to watch the sweet and handsome older boy panting and bouncing on his dick was about the sexiest thing he has ever seen in his life.  No porn could match that!  
   
  
   
   
This went on for weeks and weeks…sex every day and sometimes several times a day.  Since Changmin was only busy with his studies and Yunho with his occasional modeling job, they had plenty of time to indulge in each other.  But then the leader got busy with his new musical and he himself got offered a TV drama role, which required him to stay on Jeju Island until the filming was over.    
   
  
Changmin called Yunho almost every night to check on him which pretty much always led to both of them jerking off to each other’s voice on the phone.  
   
  
For instance, Changmin would ask, “What are you wearing right now?”   
  
   
“Nothing.”  
  
   
The maknae would groan and stroked his cock slowly.  “You know what I’d do to you if I was there?”  
   
  
Yunho’s light panting was the only response.  
  
   
“Fuck your tight little hole hard from behind.”  
   
  
Short and sweet and to the point, but enough to pull a quick orgasm out of Yunho.  
  
   
Changmin has always been a man of a few words but each time they talked, the naughty maknae would have a different sexual scenario to offer.   
   
  
Yet, Yunho being Yunho got restless and decided to visit him on-set.  This made Changmin nervous (so, therefore pissy as hell) because even though he was confident in bed, he felt inadequate talent-wise next to the great Jung Yunho.   
  
   
To top it all off, the leader just had to go and bring Kyuhyun and Minho along with him.  Once the maknae got ahold of the other boy in private, he was going to kill him…there was no way around it really.   
  
   
But when Yunho dropped to his knees, unzipped the bitchy boy’s pants and put his dick into his mouth, all thoughts of murder left Changmin’s head.  Instead he focused on the pleasure that heavenly mouth was giving him.  
   
  
Then, as he struggled to deep-throat him, Yunho made the admission that his cock is bigger than that pretty boy’s cock…  
   
  
Well, well, well!  That irritation inside him transformed into smugness…Changmin purposely thrusted to watch Yunho gag for a few seconds.  He felt his dick grow harder and his head grow bigger.  Oh the ego…  
   
  
And like any pornographic cliché, Changmin asked huskily, “Do you like this big dick fucking you, Yunnie?”  And then proceeded to fuck Yunho into the carpeted floor.  
   
  
Overall, it was a fantastic visit that he only allowed to be repeated one more time despite Yunho’s pouting.  
   
   
  
  
When filming for Paradise Ranch wrapped up and he got back to Seoul, Changmin found out the news about the trio.  How they had started their own group called JYJ, how they were going to perform in Tokyo Dome and A-Nation this summer and a rumored album for the fall, how essentially they were moving farther and farther away from Dong Bang ShinKi.   
   
  
It hurt so bad he felt the bitter taste of bile every time he thought about it.  After gaining so much fame, part of Changmin had always craved a normal life.  So he never thought he would miss the stage that much.  But he did.  He missed singing and dancing…the rush he felt when the fans cheered.   
   
  
He eased the agony in his heart with Yunho’s delightful body.  The older boy’s cries of pleasure were like a healing balm to his emotional injuries.  Every time Changmin releases inside Yunho, he gets liberated from that exhaustible pressure and stress inside him.  
   
  
Every night afterwards he tried to kiss him, and every night Yunho would pull away.  One night though, Changmin lost his temper.   
  
   
“Yes, just continue to reject me because I’m not perfect like _ **him**_! Why don’t you go back to him then? Why even bother with me, damn it?! Why don’t you just leave me alone?”  
   
  
He currently had a non-existent career, a pseudo-romantic relationship with his best friend and despite all the blowjobs and fucking, Changmin still felt lonely.  In that moment, he couldn’t stop the tears.   
   
  
The miserable maknae felt soft kisses on his cheeks in a way of comforting him.  He is constantly scared Yunho will leave him eventually…  
  
   
“Baby…baby…let’s not turn against each other…I need you. I’m never leaving you.”  
  
  
“You don’t know that…” Changmin mumbled.  
  
  
“Oh, I don’t know that? You think I don’t wake up every morning scared you might finally realize you’re on the losing team? That it might have been best for your career to just leave with them?”         
   
  
Changmin sat there calmly and listened to Yunho degrade himself.  But when the older boy took it as far as doubting his ability as a leader, the loyal maknae knew he had to do something sappy to get this boy to shut up and accept the fact that he is perfect in every way that is important in life.  
   
  
So he loved Yunho’s lithe, beautiful body with his words, mouth, hands, and of course his cock…anything to make this amazing boy forget any other name but his.  
  
   
“You are my focus now…my only focus,” Changmin whispered, as they both rode out their lingering pain that night.  
   
  
  
   
   
The next day was the start of their new career as a two member Dong Bang ShinKi.  Previously, Changmin worried about their voices not matching, but some part of him had always loved singing with Yunho.  All doubts left his mind when they tried a part of “Love in the Ice” together.   
   
  
Clearly, their ability to make beautiful, sweet harmony together extended to outside the bedroom too.  
   
  
Many songs were thrown their way after a few SM executives heard them.  Lee SooMan had approached them one day during a private recording session for a small talk.  
  
   
“Listen, boys, you’ve been out of the music scene for almost a year now.  New bands have been debuting and even older bands have had strong comebacks.  I have no doubt you two can do this, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work.  You are used to dividing out roles amongst 5 members…you’re down to 2 now.  This is more about a partnership than a band.  I hope you two can be partners in this and take Dong Bang ShinKi to new levels.”  
   
  
After SooMan left, Changmin stared at Yunho, who stared back.  They both stuck their hands out and said at the same time, “Partners?”  With two nods, they shook hands then after a minute burst out laughing.  
   
  
The maknae used their linked hands to drag the laughing older boy closer to him.   
   
  
“I don’t know how long I can keep this a professional partnership, Mr. Jung,” he whispered against those full lips, barely touching.  
   
  
Yunho’s eyes fluttered and closed as he whispered back, “Hopefully not long, Mr. Shim.”  
   
  
Just as he was about to catch that bottom lip with his teeth, an annoying ringtone went off… causing both boys jump and Yunho to pull away.  
  
   
 _Daaaaaammmmmn it!  So fucking close!_   Changmin pouted inwardly.  
  
   
He noticed Yunho staring at the mobile screen and frowning.  “It says ‘unknown’…should I answer?”  
  
   
Changmin shook his head.  “No, it’s probably a crazy fan. Ignore it.”  
  
   
Taking the mobile from the other boy’s hand, and since the mood was gone, Changmin decided to get down to business.  
   
  
“So what do you think about us participating in SM Town in two months?”  
  
   
Yunho  put his head down on the table and replied, “I’m nervous…but excited. I wanna be on stage again.”  
  
   
“Me too, Yunnie.”  
  
   
After a brief silence, they both pick out the next track to listen to.  Suddenly an oriental melody filled the studio.  They both steadily stared at each other as they listen intently.  
  
   
The song was called “Maximum”.  And as they started rehearsing the song, Yunho and Changmin were determined to perform this at SM Town.  
   
  
  
For the next two months, the two members alternated between recording sessions and dance practices.  Eventually, they re-recorded a couple of old songs, and learned a dance routine to “Maximum”, which Changmin thought was very cool.   
   
   
  
One day it was after 6pm and the trainees were leaving the rehearsal studio when Yunho caught him before he could pack his stuff too.  
  
   
“I think we need to start staying over time.  We’re rookies again, Minnie…we need more practice together.”  
  
   
Sighing, Changmin agreed it was for the best they stayed late from now on.  After many more hours of practice, he collapsed on the wooden floor, panting.  
  
   
“I’m all sweaty!” The maknae exclaimed as Yunho laid on the floor too and snuggled up to him.  
  
   
“I don’t care. I like you sweaty. It’s hot…literally.”  
   
  
Changmin rolled his eyes affectionately.  “You’re lame, Jung Yunho.”  
  
   
“I know, but honestly what can you do?” Yunho sighed and gave him a wide-eyed, pouty look.  
Ah it’s that look.  A sigh escape him too as he asked suspiciously, “What do you what?”  
   
  
A calculating pause followed then…   
   
  
“Fuck me here.”  
   
  
Ah ha. Words to jump start his erection any day.  
  
   
“And if someone catches us?”  
  
   
Yunho shook his head cutely.  “The door’s locked and no one’s left in the building. It’s practically midnight.”  
  
   
That was enough to convince Changmin, whose eyes caught on the camera facing them on a stand a few feet away.  A perverted idea started forming in his head.  
  
   
He moved Yunho aside and stood up to walk over to the camera.  Standing behind it, Changmin focused the lens on the boy still lying on the floor.  
   
  
“No, Shim Changmin! Resist your urge for pornography because this can only lead to trouble!”  
  
   
The maknae let out a chuckle, but ‘accidently’ hit the record button as he walked back to Yunho.  
  
   
Towering over Yunho, he said haughtily, “I want you to suck my cock first.”  
  
   
Looking up at him smolderingly, Yunho’s only reply was to sit on his knees and pull down the towering boy’s sweats and underwear in order to immediately put that cock in his mouth.  
   
  
Throwing his head back and closing his eyes, Changmin hoped the camera was taping this correctly.  The boy on his knees was sucking earnestly, one hand stroking while the other fondled the maknae’s balls.  
  
   
After a few more wonderfully agonizing minutes, Yunho pulled back slightly and coated his lips with the precum at the tip of the cock.  It was so erotic Changmin almost came right then and there.  
   
  
“I can taste your sweat.” Yunho murmured.  
   
  
He winced. “Sorry I—“  
  
   
“No! I’m not complaining…I like it.”  The older boy even kissed the tip and licked his lips to prove his point.  
   
  
His cock felt like stone now…he needed to fuck or explode all over that gorgeous face below him.  
  
   
Then suddenly a mobile rang. But when Yunho turned to get it, Changmin stopped him by pushing him on his knees.  
  
   
“I don’t think so, baby…we’re in the middle of a very important task,” the domineering boy panted as he pulled Yunho’s sweats and underwear down to mid-thigh.   
  
   
“Now be a good partner and deal with this erection like the professional slut you are!”  
  
  
Yunho let out a hungry moan.  Encouraged to continue, Changmin sucked on his fingers and spat at the pink entrance in front of him.  
  
   
“Minnie! Just put it in…no need to…ahhhhh!”  
   
  
Inserting two finger in, Changmin said dryly, “I’m not gonna hurt you like he used to.”  
   
  
Just a minute or two of more preparation and the younger boy lined up his cock and pushed in.   
   
  
Changmin ran a hand up Yunho’s curved spine causing the boy thrusting backwards to shudder.  He loved taking him in his position but at the same time it limited what he saw of Yunho’s sexy expressions.   
   
  
But now with the camera aimed right in front of them, he gets to enjoy watching every flicker of emotion later from the comforts of his desk chair.  
  
   
“Faster, Minnie! So close!”  
   
  
Changmin sped up the movement of his hips to point where the sound of skin on skin echoed in the dance room.   
   
  
Slowing down and making each thrust longer, Changmin leaned down to press his chest against Yunho’s back…he caught the older boy’s left ear with his teeth and glanced at the large mirror-wall to his left.  
   
  
Nudging the gasping boy’s head to the side. “Look over there, Yunnie…”  
   
  
The moment their eyes met in the mirror, they both came.  The feeling was too overwhelming to bear.   
   
  
Changmin flipped Yunho over carefully…making sure to stay inside him so that no cum would leak onto the dance floor.   
   
  
The boy underneath him reached up and laid a palm on his cheek gently.  Yunho licked his lips, so Changmin’s gaze dropped to them.    
   
  
“Can I kiss you?”  He had to ask…maybe there was a chance…  
  
   
Yunho’s lips fell open and his eyes closed.  Taking that as consent, Changmin leaned down slowly and—  
   
  
The mobile rang again.   
  
   
“Damn it all to fucking hell!!!” Changmin yelled out and punched his fist into the floor.  
   
  
 Yunho started to squirm.  “I have to get it this time!”  
   
  
Groaning, he slipped out of the insistent boy and pulled up his clothes furiously.  By the time Yunho got to his phone it had stopped ringing.  
   
  
“It said ‘unknown’ again…who could it be?” the leader wondered.  
  
   
“Obviously it’s some asshole hell-bent on cock-blocking me,” Changmin muttered under his breath.  
  
   
“What was that, Minnie?”  
  
   
He sighed. “Oh nothing…”   
   
   
  
   
Soon it was past mid-August, therefore, time for SM Town in Los Angeles, and later in Shanghai.  The moment Changmin stepped out on stage he realized how much he had missed it.  He even got to perform a special stage with Super Junior and TRAX member, Jay.  As he belted out the strong rock vocals of “Don’t Don”, Changmin let the fiery passion inside him come out with each scream…eventually his outbursts led him to ripping his shirt.  
   
  
Yunho laughed at him backstage in their dressing room, while messing with the tattered shirt.  “Look at what you’ve done, little prince!”  
  
   
Feeling like the young trainee Yunho used to tease all the time with that nickname, Changmin’s cheeks flushed.  He started stripping to hide his embarrassment.  
   
  
“Your temper is sexy, baby,” Yunho said to him with a small smile.  
   
  
The maknae’s head popped out of the pink SM Town t-shirt quickly.  “Just my temper?”  
   
  
His leader chuckled and pressed jeans-clad body against his.  Yunho ran his hands down Changmin’s body and then groped his ass.    
  
  
“Well, actually, I only like you for your body.”  
   
  
A knock interrupted before the maknae could tackle the mischievous boy to the ground.    
   
  
“Time for the finale, Yunho-sshi…Changmin-sshi.”  
   
  
This was the best part about SM Town concerts…the fun they had with their juniors playing on-stage.  He tended to avoid doing skinship with Yunho…for obvious reasons.  Because it would be like putting a freshly cooked pizza in front of him and telling him not to eat it…not good for his sanity.   
   
  
So he spent most of his time goofing around with Minho and Kyuhyun.  Yunho tagged along with him most of the time though anyway, which Changmin found quite endearing.     
   
  
Later than night, when they arrived back at their apartment, Yunho seemed unusually quiet.  In fact, anger radiated from him.  
   
  
After an hour of sitting on the couch and numbly watching a program on TV, Changmin finally couldn’t take the silence anymore.  He preferred hyper Yunho over brooding Yunho.  
   
  
“What’s wrong, hyung?”   
   
  
Yunho snorted but continued to glare at the TV.  “Oh it’s back to ‘hyung’ now, huh? Kind of impersonal for a guy I’m sleeping with.”  
   
  
He said that with such resentment, Changmin had to control the urge to snap back. Instead he asked curiously, “Why are you so angry? I thought we had a good time at the concert.”  
   
  
“Oh I know you did.  I’m sure clinging on to Minho and dry humping Kyuhyun on-stage was very exciting for you!”  
  
   
Changmin’s mouth fell open slightly…Yunho’s glare was directed at him now.   
   
  
“Are you…are you jealous?”  He asked in disbelief.  
   
  
“No!” Yunho practically yelled. “Why the hell would I be jealous? Can’t believe you’d think I’m jealous.  So what if you openly show affection to all your other friends except me? I’m just the person you’re fu-fucking around with, right? Of course I’m not jealous!”  
  
   
After his diatribe, Yunho rose up and stomped to the bedroom.  
   
  
Changmin finally closed his mouth.  He couldn’t believe it! Yunho was jealous over him!  
   
  
A feeling of glee came over him as he practically pranced his way to Yunho’s room.   
   
  
The adorably jealous boy was curled up on the bed hugging a pillow and staring the wall.  Changmin crawled on the bed with a tender smile spread over his face.   
   
  
Running his fingers through Yunho’s soft brown hair, he said softly, “You’re very special to me.”  
   
  
The distressed boy rolled over on his back and pushed against his hand like a cat.  Changmin laid his head down on the pillow and continued the stroking.    
   
  
“Yunnie…I can’t treat you the way I treat my other friends in public…because we’re not ‘just friends’.”  
   
  
Yunho caught his bottom lip nervously.  Changmin continued to smile and slid his hand to cup the small face beside him.   
   
  
“Minnie…I’m scared.”  
   
  
“Scared of what?” He asked, now frowning.  
   
  
With lifeless eyes, Yunho said vaguely, “Of getting hurt…”  
   
  
“You’d think I’d hurt you?”  
   
  
Putting a hand over his own heart, Yunho answered, “Not intentionally maybe…but if I let myself lo—”  
   
  
A familiar melody sounded off…it was Yunho’s mobile again.   
   
  
 _That’s it!_  
   
  
Changmin has had it with that damn unknown caller! He took initiative to seize the mobile out of the other boy’s hand, answer and hang up at the same time.  Then he grabbed his own mobile from his pocket and called Lee SooMan.  
  
   
“Hyung, please, could we request a number change for Yunho’s mobile…actually, go head and change mine as well…yes…thank you so much. Have a good night.”  
  
   
“Changmin…”  
  
   
Throwing both their mobiles on the night stand, he forced Yunho to stand up and walk back into the living room.   
  
   
“No, Yunho.  I’ve had it with that caller.  It has to stop.”  
   
  
The leader looked like he wanted to argue but lost the energy for it as he sank down onto the couch.  Changmin grabbed some blankets and pillows, a tub of ice cream, and popped in a comedic foreign movie.  He dragged Yunho to sit between his legs on the floor, where they shared some ice cream and laughed at the actors’ antics on-screen…forgetting their troubles for the rest of the night.  
   
   
   
  
  
A few days later, while in the recording studio, Yunho told him he saw some fans crying while they performed at SM Town.  He said it made him more determined that they succeed in bringing Dong Bang ShinKi back…at least for those Cassies and Bigeasts that have been waiting for them.  
   
  
Changmin realized him and Yunho had lost many fans.  But he figured the fans that genuinely love and care about them will support them no matter what.  Judging by the response they got from SM Town, those fans still exist.   
  
   
So as usual, him and Yunho threw themselves into their work.  Practice, practice, practice and record, record, record was their usual routine…as well as sprinkling in a few photoshoots.  
   
   
They finally picked their comeback single titled “Keep your head down”.  A song Yunho performed as his solo during SM Town.  It was challenging to sing, and even more challenging to dance but they nailed it after weeks and weeks of rehearsals.  
   
  
They shot a music video for it and days later their comeback was announced to the world.   
   
   
Since they were simultaneously working as Tohoshinki for the Japanese market, there was a female photographer that was interested in photographing them for a long off-shot movie that would be released with the special licensed version of the Japanese single.  
   
  
It was a very intimate photoshoot.  Changmin was actually kind of nervous about it.  After he finished his individual shots, he grabbed a water bottle from an ice chest and settled down in a chair to relax.  
   
  
Yunho joined him around 30 minutes later.  One of the assistants came by with a water bottle for the older boy.   
   
  
All of a sudden, a sense of déjà vu hit him clear in the chest.  When Yunho lifted the bottle to his lips, Changmin shouted at him.  
   
  
“STOP!!”  
   
  
Yunho practically jumped off the chair, a bit of water spilling form the full bottle and onto his shirt.   Changmin didn’t even wait for permission.  He grabbed the bottle while Yunho recovered from his shock, and took a small sip.  
  
   
“Minnie, what the hell? Why’d you do that?”  
   
  
The maknae waited for the water to flood his system, took three big breaths, and when nothing happened, he handed the bottle back to a dumbfounded Yunho.  
   
  
Changmin stared at the other boy silently and saw the cloud of confusion vanish as horrified realization took its place.  
  
   
Flashes of that dreadful day played out like an old film in his mind…  
  
  
   
 _Changmin was sitting down on the steps of the stage, taking a break from rehearsal as Junsu and Yoochun goofed off around him, and Jaejoong talked to Yunho in the center of the stage.  The leader seemed to be listening intently to the lead singer, who was stroking the leader’s arm sensually.  The maknae watched them, feeling hot and annoyed._  
   
  
 _An assistant walked over to them and handed Yunho a water bottle.  After taking a few sips, he noticed the older boy’s breathing became shallow for no apparent reason.  Jaejoong didn’t seem to be noticing anything and was shouting out to Yoochun teasingly._  
   
  
 _Standing up alarmingly, Changmin’s eyes strained on Yunho as he grabbed his stomach and fell to his knees.  The maknae ran to him and put his arms around him.  Everyone was shouting all around them, but all he focused on was Yunho’s condition.  He seemed to be foaming at the mouth, spitting up blood, and convulsing._  
  
   
 _“Yunho! Yunnie, please stay with me…the paramedics are almost here…stay with me!”  As long as the grip the leader had on his hand remained firm, Changmin didn’t panic too much._  
   
  
 _Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that.  The paramedics took him away, and all four members ran after them.  They all climbed into the ambulance and watched the paramedics treat Yunho.  Changmin watched the unconscious man the whole time with silent tears running down his face._  
   
  
 _The wait at the hospital was excruciating.  His phone rang at some point…it was Kibum from Super Junior.  Changmin told him what happened monotonously, and Kibum in turn told Heechul, who promptly freaked out and rushed to the hospital._  
  
   
 _He wasn’t aware of anything around him.  He vaguely heard an argument between Heechul and Jaejoong but ignored it.  Junsu and Yoochun tried to snap him out of his trance but nothing worked._  
   
  
 _The doctor came out after a few hours later and told them Yunho was poisoned with the super glue laced in the water, but that he was recovering now.  He was only allowed one visitor at a time and since Changmin was the youngest and the quietest everyone basically forgot about him.  He was the last one in to see their harmed leader._  
   
  
 _Gazing at Yunho’s pale sleeping face and cried.  A nurse came in and told he only had a few minutes.  Changmin, without looking at her, asked, “Could I stay with him tonight? Please, ma’am?”_  
   
  
 _She must have taken pity on him because she allowed it.  When the door closed, Changmin climbed in Yunho’s bed and curled into the sleeping body._  
   
  
 _“Hyung, if you die, I’ll kill you,” He cried. “Don’t leave me.”_  
   
   
  
  
Changmin never stopped staring at Yunho as he remembered that awful day.  He recalled knocking down a chair in rage when, the next morning, the still sickly boy told him he wasn’t pressing charges against that anti-fan.   
   
  
“She’s my sister’s age, Minnie,” had been his reason. “I can’t do that.”  
   
  
Changmin insides had shook with fear and anxiety at thought of that ever happening again because of the leader’s too-nice-for-his-own-good disposition.  
  
    
Right now, he wanted the beautiful boy beside him to read the emotions running through his eyes at the memory.   
   
  
“Why would drink from it first if you had any inkling it might be poisoned?” Yunho asked with an indiscernible expression on his face.       
  
   
Changmin looked away then and admitted, “Better me than you, baby.”  
   
  
When the photographer approached them with a new outfit to change into, the two young men thanked her and walked quietly to their separate, small dressing rooms.   
   
  
Throwing a glance at Yunho over his shoulder, Changmin entered his small room and began to strip.  
   
  
Abruptly, the door bursts open and slams shut.  Just as the surprised boy turned around, Yunho jumped on him…arms and legs wrapped around him.  Changmin stumbled back to the wall behind him but kept the other boy steady in his arms.  
  
   
Yunho stared him for a millisecond then whispered to him, “Kiss me, Minnie.  Don’t hold back.”  
   
  
All Changmin could do was groan, and stretch his neck up slightly to lick at Yunho’s bottom lip…his upper lip…the columns of his teeth.  And when that mouth opened up, Changmin’s tongue plunged in and made love to that sweet mouth.  
  
  
He felt fingers thread into his hair and legs tightening around his waist.  Changmin kept his arms under Yunho’s ass and used only his lips to draw out moan after moan from the older boy.  
   
  
His mind was numb with joy as those plump lips yielded to his suckling and nibbling.  
   
  
Eventually, breathing became necessary and so they parted…gasping and gazing at each other.  
   
  
“Why now?” He asked in wonder.  
   
  
“You have to ask after what you just did?” Yunho said as he slid down.  When Changmin tried to pull him back, the older boy stepped back and hugged himself…a defensive gesture.  
   
  
“We should change our outfits now,” Yunho said with a skittish look at the door.  Changmin nodded.  
   
  
During the rest of the photoshoot, him and Yunho went from one intimate act to another.  The female photographer was salivating over them. “You two are so beautiful…so beautiful together!”  
   
  
Every look Changmin gave Yunho on camera that day was genuine…he didn’t hold back because he saw no reason to anymore.  His lover/boyfriend had finally allowed kissing…the final step for them to have true intimacy.  Nothing could ruin it now…  
   
  
  
   
In January, Dong Bang ShinKi as 2 members finally had their comeback stage.  And with that came the unexpected complications in the form of interviews and tweets from the two Kims, whom the maknae still refused to name in his head or out loud.    
  
   
There was uproar about the lyrics of “Keep your head down” and how they maybe directed at JYJ.  So one of the Kims tweeted “Keep your head up and keep an open mind”.    
   
  
Then Yunho had dared to thank Lee SooMan and SM Entertainment for guiding and nurturing Dong Bang ShinKi.  Well then the other Kim makes an emotional, indirect tweet towards Yunho’s words…like it was a betrayal or something to thank the ‘enemy’.  Even if this Kim was not referring to Yunho, it still caused unwarranted problems with fans and media.   
   
  
Changmin only ever heard about these tweets from other SM artists since most of the Super Junior crew, BoA, and a TRAX member all came to Yunho’s defense on this issue.  He also heard about it from interviewers who wanted to know their opinion.   
   
  
It didn’t stop there though.  One of Kims hinting JYJ could have used the TVXQ name, but out of curtsey to the fans they didn’t…and also now since him and Yunho made a comeback using that name the chance of a reunion are ‘unlikely’.   
  
   
Bullshit if he ever heard it. SM would sue JYJ if they tried to use the name and since when was the talk of a reunion even in the works? They left them, not the other way around!  
   
  
Then of course the other Kim makes the claim that it is “JYJ from TVXQ” now, whereas before it was all about JYJ only.  Changmin was asked to address this new claim in one of their comeback interviews…to which he replied honestly,  
   
 _"Dong Bang Shin Gi was a team that was design and created by SM from the beginning. The five of us were loved by tons of fans, and we enjoyed the activities we did together. The two of us are not letting this framework end, but we are going to protect it. When birds leave a flock but they still think they are part of it, don’t you think there is some kind of inconsistency there?”_  
   
  
The maknae knew he was too harsh, too blunt for his own good…he has never been one to _soften the blow_ so-to-speak.  Yunho, on the other hand, had played it like a true diplomat…guess that is why he will always be the leader.  
  
  
A painful twinge hit his chest at every indirect hit towards their comeback.  Changmin wondered what would be next.   
   
  
In all honesty, he really didn’t give a damn about all this outside drama.  Just as long as nothing directly hurt Yunho, then Changmin’s ultimate purpose was to better themselves as two member-band from now on.  
   
  
However, drama has a tendency to follow you even when you’re not looking for it.  
   
  
  
One morning, while Changmin and Yunho were sleeping like cuddling kittens in bed, a mobile rang.      
    
  
He heard his lover answer it and then stiffen in his arms…like lightning struck him.  
   
  
“Jaejoong?”  
   
  
The younger boy’s insides froze.  _Ahhh and here it is…drama in the form of a Kim again._  
   
  
Changmin grabbed the phone from Yunho and said into it quietly, “Don’t call again, asshole.”  Then hung up.  
   
  
The older boy snatched his phone back and sat up in anger.  “Why’d you have to go and do that? I didn’t even hear what he had to say!”  
  
   
“What he had to say?! The real question is: what _could_ he have to say?! He disappears from our life… _your_ life for a year and now suddenly he cares to call?!”  
   
  
Yunho and Changmin were out of bed at this point, standing chest to chest in front of the bed.  
   
  
“How do you know it’s sudden? I’ve been getting ‘unknown’ calls for a while before we changed our numbers!”  
   
  
The taller boy stared at the other in astonishment.  “You are actually going to give that bitch the benefit of the doubt?”  
  
   
Yunho sighed. “I didn’t even…urgh! You’re acting like a child! You can’t let your temper lead you, Changmin!”  
   
  
Throwing his hands in the air, he replied, “You wanna think I’m being childish, fine! I’m just trying to make you see reason…he doesn’t deserve to speak to you, damn it! He left you!”  
   
  
Bottom lip trembling slightly, Yunho said in small voice, “I see no need to be vengeful towards him…”  
   
  
Changmin looked down and realized they were both still naked.  He put hands on the other’s waist and kissed that bottom lip lightly.  
   
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
   
Yunho laid his head on slightly taller boy’s shoulder and breathed, “I need to call him back.”  
   
  
All Changmin could do was nod and walk away to go take a shower as the older boy dialed that number back.  
   
  
When he came out of the shower, Yunho announced that pretty boy was coming over.   
   
  
Severe disappointment and anxiety ran through his body.  This was their first glorious day off after their last promotional stage for “Keep your head down” in Korea.  And he had to spend it with an ex-band member who was his lover’s ex-boyfriend?   
  
   
Changmin hid himself in his room the entire morning, not speaking to Yunho when he called out from behind the door.  
   
  
He distracted himself with video games…ignoring that nagging worry that Yunho might forget all about him the moment that guy walks through their door.  
   
  
Suddenly, the leader knocked on his door.  
   
  
“Minnie…please come out.  Jaejoong is at the door…I can’t do this without you.”  
   
  
Changmin closed his eyes briefly.  _Here it goes…_  
   
   
  
A few minutes later, he sat silently on a cushy chair while Yunho and…Ja—Jae—damn, fine…while Yunho and _Jaejoong_ sat on the couch.   
  
   
The greetings at the door were initially awkward.  But Yunho, being a lovely host, played up the small talk with what he could only hope was fake enthusiasm.  
  
   
“You look different, Jaejoong.”  
  
  
Changmin snorted.  Different was an understatement.  It’s obvious that pretty boy has been over-indulging in alcohol.   
   
  
Jaejoong threw him a narrowed look then smiled back at Yunho.  “You’re looking even more handsome and sexy than usual, Yunnie.”  
   
  
 _Don’t call him Yunnie, you bastard._   This hatred inside him was scaring him.  All he wanted was to punch Jaejoong and pull Yunho into his arms…to protect the sheep from the wolf.   
   
  
Ever-the-gracious host, Yunho exclaimed, “Oh! Let me get you a drink.  Is juice okay?”  
   
  
Their ex-lead singer smiled and nodded, caressing the fretting boy’s face with a finger.   
   
  
Changmin wanted to cut that finger off…slowly.  
   
  
Yunho blushed slightly and walked to the kitchen…not before throwing a warning glance at him.   
   
  
But the maknae sat there fuming and ignored it.  
   
  
Jaejoong’s smile disappeared with the leader’s departure, and he turned to the taller boy.  
   
  
“So. You and him are fucking, aren’t you? Couldn’t wait to move right in after I left, Changminnie?”  
   
  
He burned a hole through Jaejoong’s skull with his glare.  “You have some nerve saying that to me.”   
   
  
The pretty boy sighed and spoke slowly to him like he was a 3 year-old.  “I left because the goals and ambitions for my career changed.  But no matter what, Yunho will always belong to me.  You are a distraction, nothing more nothing less.”  
   
  
The biting remark hit so close to home that Changmin lost his ground and didn’t reply.   
   
  
Self-satisfied, Jaejoong grinned.  “So the cute maknae finally lost his man-cherry.  Never thought you’d take it up the ass, Changmin.”  
  
   
The taller boy’s widened with sudden insight.  “Why do you assume that Yunho is the one fucking me?”  
   
  
Suddenly, unsmiling and guarded, Jaejoong stood up and raised his voice.  “He let you fuck him?!”  
   
  
Changmin stood up too, tall and superior.  “Yeah, he let me. He begged me even.”  
   
  
Jaejoong’s fists clenched at his sides. The maknae chuckled.  
   
  
“What? Are you so arrogant to presume he would save himself for you while you gallivant around with Yo—Yoochun or whomever the next boy-toy is? Until you deem it worthy to come back to him?”  
   
  
Now nose-to-nose with each other, Jaejoong hissed, “What do you know, bastard? You’re just a cold-hearted, antisocial outcast! You think you’re good enough for the Jung Yunho? The two of you are from two completely different worlds and doomed to fail.”  
  
   
The fact that this bitch can call out all his insecurities about his relationship with Yunho really pissed Changmin off.     
  
   
Ignoring the pain in his gut, he sneered, “He doesn’t belong to you.  He’s moaning my name now…so get the fuck out.”  
  
   
Yunho walked in at that moment with a shocked look on his face. The rivaling boys stared him…hoping he would chime in and settle the matter.  
   
  
“I don’t belong to anyone.  And enough with the dick-measuring okay? Can’t you two ever be civilizing towards one another?”  
   
  
The other two boys went back to glaring at each other.  Yunho sighed, set the tray of juice glasses down, and stepped in between them.  
   
  
“Maybe you should leave for now, Jaejoong.  Minnie, calm down please.”  
   
  
Jaejoong flipped his bangs away from his eyes and stepped towards Yunho.  “Can we have coffee together tomorrow?”  
  
   
Changmin stepped back like he used to do when he was younger to judge their interaction.  
   
  
Yunho seemed torn, biting his lip.  “Sure, but I don’t know our full schedule.”  
   
  
The ex-boyfriend waved a hand.  “I’ll call you.  And please don’t let him answer.” Throwing Changmin a scathing look, Jaejoong squeezed Yunho’s hand and let himself out of the apartment.  
   
  
  
A few minutes of silence followed as he watched Yunho stared at floor hopelessly.  
   
  
He approached him deliberately and began undressing him.  Yunho gasped but otherwise let him.  
   
  
“I don’t particularly like that my boyfriend is making plans with his ex.”  
   
  
The now half-naked boy asked in a daze, “I’m your ‘boyfriend’?”  
   
  
Changmin kneeled down to pull the pants and boxers off at the same time.  “What else would you be? Who lives with you? Who takes care of you and makes sure you’re eating right? Who makes love to you?”   
   
  
“Ma—make love?”  
  
   
In answer, Changmin kissed his way up the lithe body to take Yunho’s lips in a searing kiss.   
   
  
Even when he entered the beautiful whimpering boy underneath him, the kiss went on and on.   
   
  
Each thrust of his cock matched that of his tongue.  
   
  
Yunho turned into a panting mess in his arms…couldn’t even kiss back anymore, just left his mouth gaping for the thrusting of Changmin’s tongue.  
  
   
Finally, arching his back, Yunho came.  The sight caused a volcano to erupt inside Changmin…releasing a big load as he cried out his lover’s name.  
   
  
After he emptied himself completely inside Yunho, Changmin pulled out and settle on his side next to the older boy.  
   
  
He traced a finger across Yunho’s swollen, red lips and watched the other boy’s eyes flutter shut.   
   
  
Changmin earned these lips…they were his now.     
   
  
The solemn younger man continued to gaze at his lover as he smiled sweetly and purred, “Minnie…thank you for loving me.”  Then he dozed off.  
  
   
Changmin wondered what this burning ache in his heart meant.  
   
  
 _What is happening to me? Am I falling in love?_


	6. Part VI

_One two three four…five six seven eight…one two three four…_  
  
   
Yunho danced hard with intense concentration on his face.  Starting over as a  duo required a rookie mentality.  Him and Changmin had to earn respect and admiration all over again so they can continue Dong Bang Shin Ki successfully.    
  
  
   
He looked sideways and saw a sweaty and panting Changmin collapse on the floor.  Yunho smiled and stopped in the middle of a dance move to admire the tired young man’s gorgeous body.  Unable to control himself, he laid down on the floor too and cuddled himself to Changmin.  
   
  
  
“I’m all sweaty!” The maknae protested.  But honestly this turned him on even more and so politely asked the other boy to fuck him into the floor…a request that couldn’t be denied.  
   
   
  
Yunho cupped Changmin’s cheek afterwards and couldn’t help the warm feeling filling up his chest.  
  
   
“Can I kiss you?”  
  
   
His heart literally skipped a beat.  It skipped each time Changmin almost kisses him.  But just like their almost kiss in the recording studio, Yunho felt himself giving in to the other boy.   
   
  
  
Some unknown force clearly did not want him kissing Changmin because his phone rang at the exact moment their lips almost touched.  
   
  
  
Later, as Changmin drove them home, Yunho suddenly thought about that camera as he sat idly in the passenger, holding the other boy’s hand.  He turned to stare at Changmin with slight suspicion.    
  
   
   
“Why are you staring at me?”  
  
  
   
“What, can't I just admire your handsome profile?”      
  
   
   
Changmin raised an eyebrow.   
   
  
  
Yunho blew his bangs out of his face.  “Alright. What did you do with the sex tape?”  
  
  
   
The younger boy looked surprised.  “You knew I recorded it?”  
  
  
   
“Of course,”  Yunho said boyishly.  Then reached over and rubbed Changmin’s thigh.  “Now, can I have it?”  
  
  
   
“Uh, no. I’m the porn collector, I’m keeping it.”  
  
  
   
The leader tried whining and pouting and promises of the dirty, dirty things he’ll do, but alas, Changmin didn’t give in.  He told Yunho he has “plans” for that tape, whatever that means.  
   
   
   
  
  
  
The SM Town concerts came next and Yunho could barely control his excitement.  The stage is where he and Changmin belong…he just hoped the fans will respond well to their performances.   
  
  
   
As they performed their medley, Yunho looked out into the audience and noticed the girls in the front row crying and cheering.  _Ah, that’s it right there. They missed us!_   He danced and sung harder than ever witnessing that.  
  
  
   
When Changmin joined Super Junior and TRAX member, Jay, on-stage for a hard rock performance of “Don’t Don”, Yunho watched in awe from the backstage cameras.   
  
  
   
The maknae’s vocal cords and biceps were bulging and his screams were shaking the stadium.  Then suddenly he tore at his already loose t-shirt.  Dry-mouthed and trying to regulate the lust running through his veins, he greeted Changmin with some good honest teasing when he finished.  His attraction to this boy was unlike anything he’s ever experienced.  All he got in was a good ass-grope before they were called to the stage again.  
   
   
  
You know, jealousy is a funny thing sometimes. It creeps up on you when you least expect it while your entire body fights to reject it.  That was the dilemma Yunho found himself in during the SM Town’s finale stage.  He watched as Changmin hung himself all over Kyuhyun…and Minho too if he happened to cross his path.  
  
  
   
Yunho tried desperately to garner his maknae’s attention to himself by goofing around with him too.  But he seemed to fail every time…Changmin didn’t seem interested in hanging out with him for very long.   
   
  
  
Nevertheless, he trailed after the younger boy because he felt lost without him.  If he could get away with holding his hand the whole time, he would.   
  
  
   
Changmin did little things that made him giddy though.  Like calm him down if he got too hyper, guide him off-stage if he ever got lost, or the occasional supporting pat on the back.  He had to wonder why his maknae never wanted to do skinship with him though.   
  
  
  
By the time, they got home, Yunho was fuming on the inside.  He had rights to Changmin…no one else! What did Kyuhyun and Minho have that he doesn’t?  
  
  
And when  Changmin called him ‘hyung’ as they watched TV, Yunho snapped.   
  
  
“Oh it’s back to ‘hyung’ now, huh? Kind of impersonal for a guy I’m sleeping with.”  
  
  
“Why are you so angry? I thought we had a good time at the concert.”  
  
  
“Oh I know you did.  I’m sure clinging on to Minho and dry humping Kyuhyun on-stage was very exciting for you!”  
  
  
Yunho got up and ran to his room after that humiliating admission.  
  
  
The damn boy followed him to the bedroom and said all the right things while petting him, that Yunho immediately forgot why he was so angry.  
  
  
But when Changmin admitted that he kept his distance with him in public because they weren’t ‘just friends’, fear strikes his heart.  _Please, God, I don’t want to get hurt again._  
  
  
“Minnie…I’m scared.”  
  
  
The petting stopped. “Scared of what?”  
  
  
Swallowing hard, he tried to answer, “Of getting hurt…”  
  
  
“You’d think I’d hurt you?”  
  
  
 _Everyone always ends up hurting me_ , Yunho wanted to say. Instead as he attempted to explain himself, his ringtone interrupted.  Changmin got to it first though.  
  
  
The younger man took charge then and called Lee Sooman to have their numbers changed.  Although he tried to protest, this attitude turned Yunho on immensely.  
  
  
And as Changmin pulled him out of his misery by snuggling against his back as they watched a movie and ate ice cream, Yunho had never felt more warm or more safe in his life.  
   
  
  
  
  
Days later, they did everything to prepare for their comeback: recording the album, rehearsals, making a music video for ‘Keep your head down’, and photoshoots.  It was those bashing comments he read months ago that drove Yunho desperately to strive harder.  A man shows his best through his actions, and that’s what he wanted to do…show everyone him and Changmin are Dong Bang Shin Ki.  
  
  
Weeks before their comeback, they had a special photoshoot for the single released in Japan.  Yunho loved every minute of it because, aside from the individual shots, him and Changmin got to pose very intimately with each other.  He adored being close to maknae’s handsome face and tall, lightly-muscled body.  
  
  
Sometime in the middle of the shoot, Changmin shouted at him to stop and took the water bottle he was about to drink from out of his hand.  Yunho sat there confused before it dawned on him that the younger man was trying to protect him from being poisoned again.  As he watched the pain and memories flood Changmin’s big, brown eyes, Yunho felt a strong tug at his heart.   
  
  
He had to ask, “Why would drink from it first if you had any inkling it might be poisoned?”  
  
  
And when Changmin responded almost shyly, “Better me than you, baby.”   
  
  
Right then and there, Yunho knew he was falling in love.  
  
  
He found out a few minutes later when he cornered his hero in the dressing room that Changmin kisses the same way he has sex, plunging deeply and leaving nothing untouched…including Yunho’s soul.  
  
     
The kiss left him so vulnerable, so exposed he had to back away from his lover and hold on to himself to keep from reaching out again.  
  
  
 _Am I doomed to always falling for a bandmate or what?_  
  
  
  
   
Luckily, Yunho didn’t have much time to dwell on this new feeling for Changmin because, before they knew it, their comeback stage had arrived.  They became so busy with interviews and photoshoot that there was no time for anything when they got home.  Sometimes they stumbled in and collapsed on the couch in a tangle of limbs, sleeping as soundly as babies.  Yunho always woke up drooling on the strong chest underneath him.   
  
  
Nevertheless, a soft kiss would always be placed on his forehead and muscular arms gripped him tighter to snuggle closer.  This instinctive reaction from Changmin made it very difficult for Yunho not to fall even harder for the maknae.   
  
  
The younger man made everything more bearable though.  They went through so much drama with the media during their initial comeback but Changmin’s honest and insightful responses to the endless tweets (in particular one from Junsu that Yunho took offense to) made him realize how much of a man the supposed ‘baby of the group’ had become.   
  
  
Throughout the whole ordeal, Yunho was grateful for the fact that neither him nor Changmin had Twitter.  Ever since his bathtub/laptop incidents, the bossy maknae made him swear he’ll never search for those kinds of comments ever again…in fact, he insisted for Yunho to stay away from the internet period.  
  
  
“If you need to look up something, I’ll do it for you.  Damn, I can’t believe you even gave a second thought to those haters!”  
  
  
His lover was right.  So he spent his days working and promoting with Changmin by his side, and spent his night in Changmin’s arms.  Ultimately, this man was quickly becoming his everything.  It should be considered unhealthy how much he relies on his best friend/lover, but he didn’t care.  Yunho needed Changmin like he needed air.  
   
  
  
  
Unfortuntely, things were doomed to not remain peaceful.  Kim Jaejoong called him and Changmin didn’t respond well to the call.  
  
  
“He disappears from our life… _your_ life for a year and now suddenly he cares to call?!”  
  
  
Yunho tried to reason with him. “How do you know it’s sudden? I’ve been getting ‘unknown’ calls for a while before we changed our numbers!”  
  
  
“You are actually going to give that bitch the benefit of the doubt?” Clearly, the thought of Yunho forgiving his former band mate didn’t sit well with Changmin.  
  
  
But yes, he was giving Jaejoong the benefit of the doubt.  He was curious …curious to know why he was contacting him again… curious to see if he still had feelings for his ex-boyfriend.  
  
  
Although Changmin was strongly against it, his former band mate came to their apartment for a visit.  The moment Yunho opened the door and saw Jaejoong, a wave of nostalgia fell over him.   
  
  
This man represented the past…a beautiful yet very painful past.  He also noticed Jaejoong had changed, but couldn’t quite pinpoint what the change was.  
  
  
Yunho tried to ease the tension and awkwardness in the living room with a smile, but felt a bristling aura coming from Changmin.  He hoped the younger man can control his temper.  
  
  
He felt strange as Jaejoong flirted with him, so Yunho sprang up to get drinks. When he was about to walk back into the room, he heard the other two men arguing.  
  
  
Jaejoong was saying, “…The two of you are from two completely different worlds and doomed to fail.”  
  
  
“He doesn’t belong to you.  He’s moaning my name now…so get the fuck out.”  
  
  
His body temperature rose at Changmin’s words, but he strung into action to put a stop to the escalating fight.  
  
  
Jaejoong asked him out for coffee tomorrow…Yunho felt he couldn’t refuse.  
  
  
As the slightly older man left the apartment, confusion clouded his thoughts.  _Do I still love Jaejoong?_  
  
  
But then something beautiful happened.  Changmin undressed him, called what they’ve been doing as more than just sex…and the gorgeous younger man claimed Yunho as his official boyfriend.  
  
  
 _I’m falling…I’m falling._   He panted with uncontrollable desire as his boyfriend spent the next hour showing him the art of making love.   
   
  
  
  
With a small moan, Yunho awakened from his nap and immediately saw bright, brown eyes staring down at him.  
  
  
“Are you watching me sleep?” He asked with a lazy smile.  
  
  
“Yes.” The response was so direct, so honest, Yunho was slightly alarmed.  
  
  
He raised a hand and traced the downward frown of Changmin’s lips.  
  
  
“Are you ok?”  
  
  
The man hovering above him kissed the fingers on his lips. “You’re gonna meet with Jaejoong tomorrow, aren’t you?”  
  
  
Yunho hesitated but responded, “Um, yes, I suppose.”  
  
  
Changmin frowned and looked away. “Just don’t forget me, ok?”  
  
  
It was his turn to frown now. “How can I possibly forget you, pabo?”  He paused and added, “It’s just coffee, Changmin.”  
  
  
The distressed young man huffed and stood up to dress. Yunho watched him from his position on the floor, still naked.  
  
  
“Did you mean what you said earlier? About me being your boyfriend?”  
  
  
Changmin buttoned up his jeans and knelt next to him. “Does it really matter if I meant it or not?”  
  
  
“Of course it matters!” He exclaimed in disbelief.  
  
  
“Well, do you consider me your boyfriend?”  
  
  
Yunho had no clue what they were exactly so he answered, “I don’t know…”  
  
  
The now fully dressed man nodded and walked away.  
  
  
As he began pulling on his clothes, Yunho wanted to go after him.  But it was obvious the other man needed some space so he let it go for now.  
   
  
  
  
The next day Jaejoong called him around noon and asked, “So are we still going out today?”  
  
  
Him and Changmin had an interview in about an hour but were free for the rest of the day.  
  
  
“Sure,” he replied. “What time?”  
  
  
“How about around 8:30 tonight?”  
  
  
That seemed a bit late to be having coffee in his opinion but agreed nonetheless.   
  
  
About an hour before his outing with Jaejoong, Changmin said to him distastefully, “Sounds like a date to me.”  
  
  
Still indecisive about what to wear, Yunho glanced over and saw the other boy’s tall form leaning against the frame.  They hadn’t really spoken to each other all day and they didn’t even sleep together last night.  
  
  
“It’s not a date. We’re just gonna catch up, I guess.”  
  
  
Changmin snorted. “You guess? Well that sounds promising.”  
  
  
Yunho didn’t let himself get angry as he approached the younger man.  
  
  
Wrapping arms the pouty boy's waist slowly, he suggested, “You can always come with me…I bet Jaejoong wouldn’t mind.”  
  
  
“Bet he would,” Changmin muttered, rolling his eyes but lifted his hands to hold Yunho’s face.  
  
  
“Promise you’ll call me if anything happens.”  
  
  
Confused, he asked, “Why would anything happen?”  
  
  
“Just promise…please.”  
  
  
Yunho kissed the concerned man’s lips lightly and nodded.  
  
  
  
   
Jaejoong came to pick him up at exactly 8:30pm.  Changmin opened the door for him and seemed to be having a few rude words with the older male when Yunho approached them cautiously.   
  
  
When he saw him, Jaejoong pushed Changmin out of the way and stepped forward with a wide grin.  
  
  
“Yunnie! You look great, let’s go.”  
  
  
Yunho noted the slightly older man’s appearance: hair swept away stylishly, black slacks, a white dress shirt, and wrecking of expensive cologne…Jaejoong looked ready for a photoshoot.  
  
  
He frowned and looked down at his own polo and jeans. Changmin voiced the concern for him.  
  
  
“You’re mighty dressed up just for coffee, pretty boy.”  
  
  
Jaejoong turned and snapped.  “It’s none of your damn business, you – ”  
  
  
Yunho butted in, “Stop it, both of you.” And nudged Jaejoong towards the door.  
  
  
A large hand grabs his arm and pulls him back inside.  
  
  
“Remember what I said…call me if anything happens,” Changmin whispered in his ear, causing him to shiver and stare into those probing eyes.  
  
  
Yunho’s lips parted…an invitation for the taller man to kiss him. They nibbled and sucked on each other’s lips, keeping their eyes open.  
  
  
A sudden cough ended the kiss.  Changmin turns to glare at Jaejoong.  “You mind?”  
  
  
“No, do you?” And with that, the aggravated shorter man pulled Yunho out the door.  
  
  
He let himself be dragged away, but threw a glance behind him.  Changmin’s arms were folded, staring at them with hurt glistening in his narrowed eyes.  
  
  
With slight dread, he got into Jaejoong’s car.  He prayed for a peaceful, drama-free evening.  
   
  
  
  
Yunho found himself staring dumbly at a crowd hussling to get inside a small building with green lasers shooting all around it.   
  
  
“Jaejoong, where are we?”  
  
  
Without a word, the raven haired man got out of the easily and came around to open the door for him.  
  
  
“This is a house club called M2. Best club in town.” Jaejoong pressed him up against the car and leaned in to continue, “Thought this would be more fun than coffee.”  
  
  
Yunho couldn’t help the instinctive reaction to push the other man away. Jaejoong seemed put out, but took his hand and led him towards the club.  
  
  
The bouncer at the door nodded curtly at Jaejoong and ushered them both to a door at the side of the building.  
  
  
“He’s taking us to an exclusive part of the club where no fans will see us.” Yunho nodded in relief.  
  
  
The moment they walked in Jaejoong left him to go greet his friends and order drinks at the bar.  Yunho sat down on a large red leather couch and observed his surroundings.  The club was definitely fancy but reeked of smoke.  The couples on the dance floor were practically having sex.  He giggled as he thought of the humorous and sarcastic things Changmin would say if he were here.  
  
  
“What’s so funny?” Jaejoong now sat close beside him, handing him a green drink.  “Here try it. It’s good.”  
  
  
“You know I don’t like alcohol.”    
  
  
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and shoved the drink in his hand anyway. “Believe me. You’ll like this drink. It’s like a fruit cocktail.”  
  
  
Just to indulge his old friend, Yunho took a small sip. Surprisingly, he liked it.  
  
  
“Doesn’t even taste like alcohol, right?”  
  
  
He nodded and continued to sip on his drink.  Jaejoong sat back and pulled out a cigarette.  
  
  
“Isn’t that bad for your voice?”  
The raven haired man smirked as he blew out some smoke.  “You used to nag me about it all the time…what is it? You miss it…wanna be my boyfriend again?”  
  
  
 _I already have a boyfriend_ , Yunho wanted to say but he held his tongue and look out onto the dance floor.    
  
  
After a few more sips, he wondered out loud if Yoochun and Junsu would be joining them.  
  
  
“Why would you think that? It’s not like we all still live together.”  
  
  
Surprised, he asked, “You don’t? Why not?”  
  
  
Jaejoong looked bewildered now. “Why would we continue to live together? We’re all grown up now and need our own place.”  
  
  
Yunho thought that sounded empty…he couldn’t imagine living alone.  
  
  
“Changmin and I continued to live together,” he commented in a small voice.  
  
  
Jaejoong scoffed, “Well, you’re a dependent person and he’s always been stuck on you…doesn’t surprise me one bit.”  
  
  
He didn’t like that tone, but instead chooses to ignore it.  
  
  
“Must be convenient now that you two are fucking.”  
  
  
Yunho turned his head back quickly and stared at the other man in shock. “Jaejoong! That’s none of your business.”  
  
  
Jaejoong put out his cigarette and said spitefully, “Like hell it isn’t! You were mine first and now you’re sleeping with the baby of the group.”  
  
  
 _YOU left ME!_ Yunho screamed inwardly. _Not the other way around! And Changmin is no baby…he’s a man…a man I love and…_  
  
  
The older man took his silence as agreement and waved a hand dismissingly.  “But whatever…I’m willing to forgive you and take you back. ”  
  
  
“Jaejoong, listen, I – ”  
  
  
A hand suddenly forced his drink back up to his mouth. “Drink up, Yunnie…you’ll feel a lot better afterwards.”  
  
  
Yunho really wanted to leave this place, but there’s no way Jaejoong would let go this early.  
  
  
 _What the hell, why not_ , he thought, and gulped down the rest of his drink in one go…licking his lips at the fruity taste.  
  
  
Jaejoong laughed and said, “Why don’t you dance for me, babe, you used to love doing that.”  
  
  
“I do love dancing…” Yunho said as he unsteadily got to his feet…his mind lax and body tingling.  
  
  
He felt two hands on his waist twisting him around.  “That’s it, babe, dance in front of me.”  
  
  
After he did some shimming, sensually dancing the hot club beat, Jaejoong turned him around and pressed up behind him.  
  
  
Even though Yunho continued to dance, everything about the hardness pressed against his butt to the hands sliding from his waist to his inner thighs were wrong…just plain _wrong_.  
  
  
But his body tingled in a strange way that made him itch for any kind of contact. Jaejoong even raised his own drink to Yunho’s lips to sip at. A familiar scene like this one with Changmin and whiskey bottle flashed in his head.   
  
  
Then he felt lips on the back of his neck whispering the words, “Sleep with _me_ , Yunho…don’t you miss my hands on you, my dick inside you? And…”  
  
  
Jaejoong continued to talk seductively.  Yunho’s body craved something sexual, but his mind was buzzing. He couldn’t even organize Jaejoong's words in his head anymore.  
  
  
He moaned.  But he must have said something unpleasant because the man grinding behind him froze and spun him around.  
  
  
“Changmin is not here, damn it! You’re nothing but something he can fuck and experiment with…I’m the one that loves you, Yunho.  You’ll see, let’s go!”  
  
  
Dragging a stumbling Yunho along through the crowd and out the door, Jaejoong pushed him into the car and drove away from the club like a madman.  
   
  
  
  
The next morning Yunho found himself naked in a foreign bed with an equally naked Jaejoong lying next to him.  Putting his head on his drawn up knees, Yunho felt like throwing up.   
  
  
 _I cheated on Changmin._  
  
  
As if on cue, there was knock at the door…he looked up startled when Jaejoong got up easily, as if he wasn’t even asleep, and open the door clad only in boxers.  
  
  
“Where is he, you bitch? What did you do to – ”  
  
  
Changmin stormed through door in all his tall glory.  Yunho scrambled to get out of the bed and pull on the jeans and shirt thrown haphazardly on the floor.  
  
  
His boyfriend’s expression became as cold as a statue as he eyed the messy bed and the smirk on Jaejoong’s face.  
  
  
Hair sticking up everywhere as he struggled with his shoes, Yunho stumbled over to Changmin.  
  
  
“Minnie…please…I – ”  
  
  
Changmin put up a hand to silence him.  “Don’t even bother…just come on.”  
  
  
When Yunho tried to follow him, Jaejoong stopped him. “Did you enjoy last night, Yunnie?”  
  
  
To be honest, even with his head clear of alcohol, he couldn’t remember anything significant from last night.  
  
  
 _There was a club…  
  
He drank that strange green fruity drink…  
  
Argued with Jaejoong a bit…  
  
He danced…with Jaejoong…  
  
The…nothing. That’s odd._  
  
  
It’s as if nothing had happened. But that’s not possible. He cheated and was going to have to face the consequences.  
  
  
When he never responded, Jaejoong tried another question.  “Can I see you again?”  
  
  
Yunho looked beyond him to gaze at Changmin.  Noting the bleak, cold expression on that handsome face and he again didn’t respond to the question.  
  
  
He left with Changmin then with Jaejoong shouting out, "I'll call you later, I promise!"  
  
  
His boyfriend didn’t speak to him the whole way home, which left him plenty of time to think about the best way to explain himself.  
  
  
It was when they arrived home and were taking off their shoes, that the shit hit the fan.  
  
  
Changmin faced him like an enemy on a battlefield.  “You slept with him."  
  
   
“Yeah…I think so…I mean I don’t - ”  
  
  
“No, that wasn’t a question. You.Slept.With.Kim.Fucking.Jaejoong.”  
  
  
Yunho stared back at him miserably and whispered, “I don’t remember…Changmin, please, let me explain.”  
  
  
The younger man turned away and punched a wall hard with his left hand.  “URGH!”  
  
  
Concerned, Yunho moved closer to help an agonized Changmin but he was pushed away slightly.  
  
  
“You whore!” his boyfriend shouted while holding his injured hand.  “You just couldn’t wait to get back into bed with your precious Jaejoong, didn’t you?”  
  
  
Stunned and hurt, Yunho put up his hands and pleaded, “Minnie, you don’t understand…I was drinking and - ”  
  
  
“Oh! You were drunk?” Changmin asked sarcastically. “You were drunk the first time we ever did anything in bed too…guess this is a habit of yours.”  
  
  
His temper flared then. The maknae always had the ability to get a rise out of him, to make speak his mind no matter what.  
  
  
“You’re being such an ass! Why can’t you just let me explain?!”  
  
  
Changmin kicked their shoes away in frustration.  “Explain what? How you’re going back to him?”  
  
  
He pushed at the taller boy to make him see reason. “What if I don’t want to go back to him?”  
  
  
“Oh please! A part of you will always want him, admit it!”  
  
  
What could he say to that? His feelings for Jaejoong were complicated, but all he knew was he felt out-of-place during the whole evening with his ex-boyfriend.  There was something so foreign about Jaejoong now.  Honestly, fighting with Changmin was more comfortable than last night…but that could have something to do with the fact that he’s in love the angry man in front of him.  
  
  
He couldn’t admit any of that though.  Because getting hurt by Jaejoong had been hard, but Yunho knew that he couldn’t survive getting rejected by Changmin.  
  
  
His lover mistook his silence and bowed his head in defeat.  “I feared this would happen eventually…just thought I’d have more time to have you to myself.”  
  
  
Yunho blinked in surprise.  He saw Changmin gnash his teeth as he asked, “Could you tell me one thing though?”  
  
  
Stepping forward and cupping that angular, smooth face.  “Anything.”  
  
  
“Will I ever be good enough for you?”  
  
  
Oh how that question pained him. “Good enough? Minnie, you’re _too_ good for me.”  
  
  
Changmin laughed bitterly and walked away, leaving Yunho looking after him longingly.  
  
  
He decided to shower and scrub the fiasco from last night from his body.  Yunho was pink and shiny when he confronted Changmin later.  
  
  
The younger man was reclined in his desk chair staring blankly at his computer screen when Yunho asked faintly, “You’re still my boyfriend, right? I…I want us to…work through this…something strange about that night, I – ”  
  
  
Changmin held up hand to stop his babbling.  “ _If you want me to be_ is my answer to your question. We had a good thing going…we both have sexual needs anyway, so I see no reason to stop it.”  
  
  
Yunho shook his head. “No, listen, it’s not about the sex.”  
  
  
“It’s always been about the sex, Yunho…don’t be so naïve.”  
  
  
He bit his lip to keep it from trembling. Changmin hadn’t looked at him the whole time.  
  
  
“Take it or leave it, Yunho.”  
  
  
Taking a deep breath, he whispered, “I – I’ll take it.”  
  
  
Changmin threw him an expectant look, and with a crook of a finger called him over.  Yunho immediately sat in his lap and leaned over for a kiss.  The other man turned his head away.  
The statement was clear. _Just sex, nothing personal._  
  
  
Yunho almost cried to see his own treatment used against him.  But what could he do? There was nothing to justify what he had done…he’ll just take what he could get from Changmin and hope for…hope for…something… _more_ as time passes and heals the wound.  
   
  
  
  
  
  
For the next couple of months they jumped from Korea to Japan a lot for a few concerts and also to work on a Japanese album, which they hoped to release in the Fall.   
  
  
During those months, Jaejoong never called once.  
  
  
 _Changmin was right_ , Yunho thought to himself after his lover rolled over to sleep, _Changmin is always right_.  
  
  
Sex between them was still mind-blowing, but it was only now that Yunho realized how much he’d hurt Changmin when there was a ‘no kissing policy’.   
  
  
Somehow though, they were able to keep their professional and private lives sectioned off in their heads so nothing ruined their hard earned success as a duo.  
  
  
At home, there was an awkwardness and tension to their friendship that was never there before and could only be avoided with hot, _tie-me-up_ , _tie-me-down_ sex.   
  
   
In front of the camera, however, they let themselves be natural because there was no fear of losing one’s self with the watchful eye of the public on you.  
  
  
Their true and strong _brotherhood_ won the hearts of Asia and especially Japan.  Even international fans fell for Yunho’s and Changmin’s charm. Sure, they still heard about the occasional haters, but it was nothing like before.   
  
  
Besides, Changmin always told Yunho, “Every public figure has haters…it’s a fact of life. We should just focus on proving them wrong through actions, not words.”  The leader couldn’t agree more with his _sort-of_ boyfriend.  
   
  
Yunho and Changmin had grown up and lived by the same principles…it’s one of the many things that made them so compatible.  And now as an active Dong Bang Shin Ki gave their lives a semblance of normalcy again, the two young men went back to the stupid, household fights they used have two years ago.  
   
“YUN-HO!!”   
   
  
The manly leader jumped and ran to hide in his room.     
  
   
“What the hell is the toothpaste doing in the shower? Ugh!! Shit…MY SOCKS ARE ALL WET!!”  
   
  
His bedroom door crashed open to reveal a very angry maknae holding a tube of toothpaste.  Yunho mumbled and stumbled through practiced apologies but it was all in vain.  
  
  
   
Changmin grabbed him and bent him over a desk. “You wanna get spanked, don’t you?”  
  
  
   
Okay, so their fights weren’t _exactly_ what they used to be. The tension between them sometimes reached a breaking point.  Whereas before they used just huff and puff then let it go…now they have a more _constructive_ outlet to dealing with their differences…   
    
   
Yunho moaned. “Yes! Spank me!”  
  
   
He endured a full 5 minutes of spanking that left his ass red and sore, but completely ready for what was to come. A cool gel was rubbed into his entrance then a large hard cock invaded it.  
   
  
Changmin grunted each time Yunho thrusted back. When he was close to cumming, Yunho reached back to pull the other man’s head toward his, trying to kiss him. But Changmin pulled away and pushed him down until his cheek touched the desk, a hand on his neck holding him in place.  
  
   
“Ah! Ah! Ah! AHHHHH!” He finally came and felt hot liquid shoot up his entrance.  
   
  
The maknae pulled out and flipped him over. “Now, where does the toothpaste go?”  
   
  
Panting, Yunho answered softly, “In the cup next to the faucet.”  
   
  
“Very good. And are you going to get it wrong again?”  
   
  
Feeling like a smartass, he resorted, “Fu-Fuck ya!”  
  
   
Changmin stared at him for a millisecond before laughing out loud. “You bet your ass, baby!”  
   
   
  
Yunho sometimes saw glimmers of his best friend despite the emotional wall Changmin built around himself. He hoped he can completely knock that wall down soon.  
   
  
  
  
  
   
Time passed quickly and soon it was the summer season.  SM Town was going to Paris for the first time so there was a lot of buzz and excitement around the SM family.  
   
  
The last time Yunho was in Paris, Dong Bang Shin Ki was a 5 member band.  But the thought of roaming the street of Paris only with Changmin made him giddy.  
   
  
The concerts were thrilling and successful…it was great to see international fans cheering and mouthing the words to their songs.  Music really knows no boundaries.  
   
  
On one of the days, they had a photoshoot.  Yunho and Changmin, adorned in preppy designer clothes, were told to act naturally as they walked around Paris with a photographer inconspicuously following them.   
   
  
Yunho could see Changmin relaxing during the walk as he led the other man into a false sense of security by keeping their conversation light.  
   
  
  
But when they sat down to eat at a French café, Yunho decided to mess with his lover.  He leaned over to whisper something to him, pretending to share the menu.  
  
  
“I’m horny.”  
   
  
   
The natural smile on Changmin’s face faltered a bit.  “Oh really? And what do you want me to do about it?”  
   
   
Yunho’s bottom lip jutted out while he said, “You’re a jerk, Shim Changmin!”  
   
   
“How am I a jerk?” He asked with a forced smile.  
   
   
Pretending to be offended, the leader threw up his hands and ignored the other boy by talking to the blonde coordi sitting in front of them, who was eyeing them knowingly.  
   
   
“Would you two like to be left alone?” She asked.  
   
   
“NO!!” They both answered while keeping a blissful smile for the camera.  
   
  
Yunho walked purposely slow with their crew after the shoot, while Changmin shot him impatient glances.  
   
  
  
  
The moment they walked into the hotel room, the taller younger man pushed him into a wall and fucked him raw…Yunho loved every minute of it.  He knew he was being used but he didn’t care.   
  
  
As they both came, the well-fucked young man felt a light kiss on his neck; Yunho smiled at the subtle touch. No matter how rough or impersonal Changmin acts, the leader hangs on to those rare moments of tenderness in hope his love will be returned one day.  
   
   
The next day they traveled to Spain for a private photoshoot, where their female photographer, Mika Ninagawa went gaga over them.  
   
  
“I know I’ve told you two this before, but you are absolutely beautiful together…absolutely perfect. You make my job so easy!”  
   
  
Both young men glanced at each other and blushed…Mika let out a high-pitched giggle at the act.  
   
  
Like the Paris photoshoot they did everything naturally.  There was even a little storyline to it that the boys came up with: they tour the city, visit a church, have a minor fight, Changmin is tempted to find relief in a woman but then realized friendship is more important and goes back to make up with Yunho.   
   
  
The leader got a very romantic vibe from their story.  He teased Changmin because the woman thing was his idea. They were currently sitting in a carriage sight-seeing while their photographer trailing behind.  
   
  
“So, Minnie, you prefer me over a woman?”  
   
  
Changmin looked him up and down in a sleazy way.  “Well, you certainly are fuckable.”  
   
  
Instead of teasing back, Yunho pursued the subject from a different direction. “But I couldn’t give you what a woman could.”  
   
  
He was met with silence so he continued seriously this time, “Marriage, children, a normal family home…”  
   
  
“You couldn’t give me those things?” Changmin asked cryptically.  
  
   
Yunho was befuddled by the question. “I’m a man.”  
  
   
“Are you a man? To me you are Yunho…my best friend…my lover…my…Yunho…” His voice trailed off.  
   
  
The older man melted. _What are you trying to tell me, Minnie?_  
   
  
  
   
Later that day, as the sun was setting, they posed together on the beach. The young men played volleyball, rolled around in the sand, and splashed around the sea water on the beautiful shore.  
   
  
When they laid on the beach for a posed photo, familiar fingers brushed some sand off Yunho’s arm.  As he laid a hand on it and leaned in to rest his head there, camera flashes went off.  
   
  
“Oh God…listen boys, I want that pose but with you looking at the camera softly. Please….Oh that’s perfect!! More film! Get me more film, somebody!!”  
   
   
  
  
  
That night, after showering to get all the sand out, Yunho decided to sneak out as Changmin took a shower. He wanted to see the beach at night.  
   
  
The breeze was delightful, but slightly chilly…he wished he grabbed a light jacket before leaving.  
  
  
Yunho sat on the sand anyway and closed his eyes. He started praying earnestly…for his family, friends, and Changmin…especially Changmin.  
   
  
As if to answer one of his prayers, an out-of-breath Changmin appeared in front him.  
   
  
“You leave without saying a word…no note AND you forget your cell phone. You want to give a heart attack, don’t you?”  
   
  
Yunho smiled and said he was sorry. Looking annoyed but relieved, Changmin took off his jacket and put around Yunho’s shoulders.  
   
  
“Don’t want you catching a cold,” He muttered and stared off into the darkness of the sea.  
   
  
Now warm with the other man’s spicy scent around him, Yunho took his best friend’s hand so they can walk together down the shore.  
  
  
He reveled in Changmin silence…took comfort it even. His heart filled with so much love, he stopped walking and put his hand to his heart to control the hard beats.  
   
  
The hand around his squeezed and Yunho gazed up at the doe-like eyes that were currently filled with deep rooted affection.  
   
  
“Let’s go swimming!” He exclaimed as he took off his clothes.  
   
  
Changmin attempted to stop him, calling him 10 kinds of crazy, but when Jung Yunho set his mind to do something, Jung Yunho did it.  
  
   
He heard his friend shout, “Yunho, come back! Damn it! It’s fucking cold, what are – ”  
   
  
He didn’t hear the rest as waves crashed into him. Yunho laughed as he let the salt water cleanse and rejuvenate his body and soul.  
  
  
Then suddenly the laughter stopped because a huge wave came and crushed him.  
   
  
Before he suffocated, arms surrounded him and pulled him out of the water.  With his head on the soft sand, Yunho coughed and sputtered.  
   
  
Changmin grabbed his face and yelled with tears in his eyes, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me? Is this a game to you? Do you know how much I worry about you, how much I…”  
   
  
Without thinking, without breathing, he leaned up and licked at those wide, full lips seeking entrance.  The younger man moaned and opened his lips to accept the enthusiastic tongue.  
   
  
Yunho fused their naked, wet bodies together by dragging the other man closer, caressing his cock, and widening his own legs to allow for an easy entrance. Yunho clawed Changmin’s back as the hard length pushed inside him agonizingly slow.  
   
  
“More,” He whispered to the man above him. “Please…more.”  
   
  
Each raging sea wave covered up their coupling bodies as well as the sounds of their cries and groans.   
  
  
They made love gently…completely unhurriedly as they savored each stroke, each touch, each kiss.  
   
  
Yunho tightened the grip he had on Changmin’s waist with his legs and arched his back. The taller boy leaned down to bite and suck on his nipples.  
  
   
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, yes, yes, yes!”  
  
   
“That’s it, Yunnie…hit that high note for me, baby.”  
  
   
This had him mewling and whimpering as he shot cum all over his sexy lover’s chest. With that, Changmin came hard inside him.  
  
  
Yunho sighed in utter pleasure as he wrapped the trembling man in his arms.  
   
  
  
  
The reconnected lovers didn't leave the beach until after midnight…laughing and teasing each other…totally unaware of anything outside their little world.  
  
  
“Carry me!” Yunho cried out pitifully.  
   
  
Changmin grinned and tickled the other man. “What am I, your horse?”  
   
  
He laughed and smacked the maknae on the arm. “Yes, you’re my stallion. And it’s your fault I can barely walk anyway, so I please…carry me?” He added a pout just for kicks.  
   
  
His lover groaned and knelt down.  “Hop on.”  
   
  
Yunho clapped his hands together and jumped on.  
   
  
His witty boyfriend walked them around for 30 minutes before spotting an open alcove with two men holding hands and another saying something to them.  
   
  
As him and Changmin drew closer, the exotic Spanish language filled their ears. The oldest man seemed to be almost praying over the other two, who were gazing lovingly at each other.  
   
  
Puzzled, Yunho asked, “What are they doing?”  
   
  
He slid down Changmin’s back and pushed him down to sit on the ground so they can watch a ceremony of some-sort.  
  
   
“Isn’t it obvious? They’re getting married, Yunho.”  
   
  
“Gay marriage is legal here?” He asked, eyes bugging out.  
   
  
“Europe is a little different from Korea…or Asia in general…much more liberal.”  
   
  
Yunho sat there in contemplation staring at the blissful male couple.  “They look so in love.” He glanced at the man next to him only to realize he was being stared at the whole time.  
   
  
 _Are we in love?_ He wanted to ask.   
  
   
Instead, he asked a question worth of a fangirl.  “If I was a girl, would you marry me, Changmin?”  
  
   
Without missing a beat, his friend replied, “You’d be pregnant with my fifth child by now if you were a girl…I would have married you long ago.”  
   
  
Yunho’s heart nearly stopped beating. But then Changmin continued astutely, “But two men together is wrong so…”  
   
  
His stomach churned at those words. “Then what are you doing here, Changmin? I’m a man.”  
   
  
“No, you’re Yunho…just Yunho, I already told you that.”  
   
  
Feeling distressed, Yunho stood up and turned away. “But I’m still a man…so where is this going? What are we if we’re so _wrong_ to you?”  
   
  
When there was no answer, he turned back around and saw Changmin on his knees with his head bowed slightly.  
   
  
“Would you marry me if I asked you?”  
   
  
Yunho gasped.  
 

 


	7. Part VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish by Enolha

_Would you marry me if I asked you?_  
   
 _Would you marry me if I asked you?_  
   
 _Would you marry me if I asked you?_  
   
   
Changmin heard his own words echo in his head as he waited dumbly for Yunho’s response.  He had no idea what made him ask that question. Hell, he didn’t even know how he ended up letting go of his resentment towards Yunho cheating on him.   
   
For months after Changmin found his boyfriend in bed with Jaejoong, he hadn’t been able to kiss or do anything too personal in bed.  Part of it was self-preservation and the other part really wanted get back at Yunho for sleeping with another man…  
   
But the warm, romantic European air combined with Yunho’s natural charm infiltrated Changmin’s cold exterior and shattered his defenses.  His heart clenched when, a few hours ago, he had watched the ocean breeze play with Yunho’s hair as he knelt in the sand praying, then witnessed the older man almost drown as a large wave hit him…        
   
It seemed that resisting this endearing man in front of him will always be futile. The moment those full lips touched his, Changmin was lost. He made love to Yunho on that beach…made love to him like it was the first time.  And now, witnessing those two European men consolidated their love through a small ceremony, Changmin wanted this too…he wanted this with Yunho so badly. Regardless of what his beliefs are about marriage, Jung Yunho will always be the exception.  
   
“What?” Yunho asked in utter shock, interrupting his inner confessions.  
   
He repeated the question quietly, “Would you marry me if I asked?”  
   
Yunho just continued to stand there with his mouth gaping open…it made Changmin nervous.  
   
Finally Yunho responded, “You’re joking around with me, right?”  
   
On the contrary, the maknae had never been more serious about anything in his life.  
   
“Yunho…will…you…marry…me?” He punctuated each word with a step towards the other young man like a hunter to a frightened animal.  
   
His boyfriend buried his face in his hands and mumbled, “Don’t toy with me, Changmin…Please don’t joke about something like this…”  
   
Changmin moved the other man’s hands away from his face and stared into those slanted, brown eyes.  
   
Yunho gasped and backed away, flailing his arms out wildly. “Changmin! I don’t…understand…yo-you just said two men together is wrong! Why would you want to marry me?”  
   
He felt conflicted as he watched Yunho struggle with his words. He wanted to say so many things but every time he tried the words got stuck in his throat.  
   
Changmin sighed.  “I…you…I…”  
   
This caused disappointment to flash across Yunho’s face before he turned his back on him.  
   
 _Well, if I can’t say it, I’ll show it._  
   
He wrapped his arms around Yunho’s waist from behind and rubbed their cheeks together. “Yunnie…”  
   
Something in his voice must have triggered an emotion inside the other man for he turned around to search his eyes intently. After a moment, it seemed the leader found what he was looking for.    
   
“I wish you’d say it,” Yunho said wistfully. “But it’s okay. You don’t have to.” He then grabbed Changmin’s right hand to lead him closer to where the other male couple stood.  
   
 The younger man stopped him. “Is that a ‘yes’?”  
   
Yunho smiled sadly. “This won’t be official in Korea…”  
   
“I don’t care…we’ll always have Europe.”  
   
“I can’t give you children…a normal family or –”  
   
Changmin put a finger up to Yunho’s lips to shush him. “You – _You_ are my family.”  
   
The other young man looked like he was fighting back tears. Changmin leaned down slightly to kiss Yunho’s lips softly.  
   
After a few minutes, somebody cleared their throat and interrupted their kiss.  Both young men turned their heads at the same time and saw the older man who was conducting the ceremony staring at them with a smile.  
   
"Hola, chicos 1!” The older gentleman exclaimed.  
   
Yunho and Changmin glanced at each other in confusion but then smiled politely at the other man as he continued to speak to them in Spanish.  
   
“Quieren casarse2? Vengan, vengan conmigo3!” He gestured with his hands for them to follow him.  
   
As they stepped into the small alcove, the previous (and now married) male couple saw them and grinned widely and shouted, “Hermosos hombres, felicitaciones4!”  
   
Though the two foreign pop stars still didn’t understand a word these people were saying to them, they smiled because the friendly atmosphere was contagious.  
   
The older man took the young men to the small alter that has a beautiful wooden arch wrapped with the vines of pretty white flowers.  
   
The Spaniard made them face each other and hold hands. Changmin gripped Yunho’s hands tightly, afraid the other boy might bolt and leave him. But Yunho smiled delicately and moved forward to stand closer.  
   
“El amor es hermoso y tiene muchas formas. Dios nos dice que nos amemos unos a otros ... que cuidemos uno del otro. Así, que dos personas encuentren el verdadero amor una en la otra es un regalo de la vida. Estos dos hombres ...5”  
   
But the religious man stopped talking suddenly as asked, “Cuáles son son sus nombres6?”  
   
Yunho looked dumbly at Changmin for help since he’s the genius, who in turn shrugged but then snapped his finger and said, “I think _nombres_ means _names_ …he probably needs to know our names.”  
   
The leader smiled proudly and turned to the older man to tell them their names.  After that the Spanish words filled the air for several minutes later. It sounded beautiful and somehow, as they stared into each other’s eyes, they understood the meaning behind those foreign words. They understood the intention behind them – they were being bonded for life…the language barrier didn’t matter.  
   
Changmin closed his eyes briefly and sent out a prayer to the heavens, _I don’t know what I’m doing, Buddha…God…whomever is listening. But I need this man in my life forever…this feels right. Please, give me strength._  
   
After the prayers and formalities ended, the Spaniard gestured for them to kiss. Yunho giggled and closed his eyes teasingly waiting for his kiss.  
   
The maknae’s smile mismatched his eyes…and he pulled Yunho against him to kiss him breathless. Then he rested his forehead against the other boy’s forehead and whispered, “Oh Yunnie…”  
   
Yunho placed a sweet kiss on his nose and moved in closer to nuzzle against his shoulder. “Minnie…”  
   
Before he could say anything else, the man who conducted the ceremony presented them with two documents and handed Changmin a pen.  
   
He signed the documents without a second thought and swiftly handed the pen to Yunho.  The other boy stared at him tenderly and signed as well.  
   
The Spaniard rolled up one of the documents nicely and presented it to them. Changmin took it, bowed to the older man and thanked him. Then he took Yunho’s hand and pulled him out of the alcove.  
   
There was laughter and a shout behind them. “Buena suerte, muchachos! 7”  
   
Yunho and Changmin walked back to the hotel, holding each other and laughing like children who got away with doing something naughty.  When they arrived at the hotel, they let go of each other.  
   
“Minnie,” Yunho faced him with a sudden nervous expression. “Could you wait in the lobby for a few minutes?”  
   
“Why?”  
   
“Just…please? I want to do something. I’ll call you on your mobile when I’m ready, okay?”  
   
Confused but willing to do anything for his mate at the moment, Changmin nodded…he watched as Yunho’s eyes sparkled before he ran to the elevators quickly with a wave.  
   
He took a seat at the nearest chair in the lobby and leaned his head back against a wall as worrying thoughts invaded his head.  
   
What the hell were they going to do when they got back to Korea and reality hits? If somehow anyone found out found out what they’d done, SME would have to do some serious damage control after chewing their asses.  What if their families found out?  
   
 _Father will be ever so pleased with me_ , Changmin thought sarcastically. But he didn’t care because when it comes down to the fact that he’s bonded to Yunho for life, that’s all that matters.  
   
He ended up dozing off waiting for Yunho’s call.  When his mobile finally rang, Changmin realized it was almost 3 o’clock in the morning…no wonder he was tired.  
   
“Hello, Minnie! Come on up to the room now! Sorry it took me longer than expected!”  
   
The sleepy maknae grumbled and hung up.  Honestly, if he didn’t have the biggest soft spot for this man he would kill him.  
   
But as soon as Changmin entered the room his bad mood melted away.  There were tons of white candles making a clear path towards the king sized bed, and on the floor at the edge of the bed a few candles were placed in a shape of a heart. To top off this enticing scene was Yunho wearing nothing but a pair of boxer and holding two roses.  
   
The moment their eyes met, the newly-wedded man got up on his knees on the bed and held out one of the roses.  In a daze, the surprised younger man stepped forward and took it. He brought it up to his nose…it smelled like Yunho.  
   
“You romantic fool,” Changmin whispered, voice cracking.  Yunho moved closer and grabbed him by the face.  
   
“Do you remember the last time I did this?”  
   
How could Changmin forget! It was meant for Jaejoong…  
   
  
   
 _It was an ordinary day in the year 2007.  Changmin had spent the day off with his family but returned to their 3-bedroom apartment later that night. Junsu and Yoochun he knew were out-of-town until the next day so as he walked through the front door he expected to see Yunho and Jaejoong hanging out._  
  
 _Instead there were many candles making a path to one of the bedrooms. He stood there in horror, praying not to hear any sex noises. After a few tense seconds of sweet silence, Changmin followed the path, curiosity getting the best of him._  
  
 _What met him were heart-shaped candles on the floor and an oversized-shirt-wearing Yunho holding two roses. The moment the leader saw him he jumped off the bed and started babbling._  
  
 _“Oh my God, Changmin! It’s you! I’m sorry….argh! I must look like a total idiot!”_  
  
 _The maknae didn’t respond right away. The pain in his gut was too much for him to handle. After swallowing he asked the envitable question, “Was this for Jaejoong?”_  
  
 _Yunho nodded mournfully. “Go ahead and laugh.”_  
  
 _“I’m not laughing.”_  
  
 _“Oh? You don’t think this is stupid?”_  
  
 _“No, I think it’s totally you.”_  
  
 _The older boy sighed and went to check his phone. Changmin saw the look of anticipation on the other’s face disappear, leaving behind a severe look of disappointment._  
  
 _“He’s not coming. Something came up. This was supposed to be our night…” Yunho’s voice trailed off as he sat forlornly on the bed._  
  
 _Changmin stood awkwardly at the door, still unsure what to do. He wanted to comfort his friend but didn’t know how._  
  
 _“I’m sorry, Yunho. I – I”ll just go now.”_  
  
 _“No!” The older boy exclaimed. “Please, stay. Indulge me.”_  
  
 _Walking over to stand in front of Yunho. “This evening wasn’t meant for me.”_  
  
 _His leader looked up at him from his place on the bed and suddenly smiled. “It could be. We could pretend. Pretend to be my boyfriend, Minnie!”_  
  
 _An electrical zap ran through his body at Yunho’s suggestion. “I can’t do that.”_  
  
 _The other boy was stubborn though. He bounced up and wrapped his arms around Changmin’s neck._  
  
 _“It’ll be like a game…you know how some kids play House sometimes. How would you comfort your significant other?”_  
  
 _Changmin’s heart squeezed in his chest. But like a sucker he gave in. He can’t say no to Yunho…especially when he was cute and needy._  
  
 _So the maknae let go of the weird emotions inside him so he could be a good best friend. He unceremoniously threw Yunho on the bed and tickled him till he had tears in his eyes. They ended up spending the entire night together chatting, listening to music, and eating the chocolate covered strawberries that was part of the romantic scene Yunho had originally set up for Jaejoong…_  
   
  
  
Now flash forward almost 4 years and imagine that past scene in present-day Spain, the two young men tumbled onto the bed together and ate strawberries from each other’s mouth, licking chocolate off each other’s lips in the process. Changmin was still unable to say no to Yunho and gave in to his every demand that night like any good husband on his wedding night.  
  
Instead of talking, they indulged in lingering kisses and gentle touches. Changmin ran his hands slowly up and down Yunho’s body, trying to memorize every sensuous inch of it. There was nothing overly sexual about their actions…even when Yunho rubbed the inside of Changmin’s thighs and sucked on his neck.  It was a night of savoring and just enjoying each other until dawn.  
   
The next morning they had to pack up and head back to Korea.  The two boys were exhausted and slept the whole time on the plane. They stood apart in the airport, afraid the smallest touch will give their secret away.  
  
The two band mates spent the next couple of weeks preparing for the release of their new Japanese single “Superstar”. But that newly married glow never left them. They always had their own little private honeymoons at home.  
  
One day, Yunho got a call from his mother asking him to visit them.  
  
Putting a hand against the mouth of the phone, the leader turned to Changmin and begged, “Come with me for this weekend! Please, they’d love to see you too!”  
  
Thinking of Yunho’s mother’s delicious cooking, the food-loving maknae smiled and agreed right away.  
  
His husband punched the air in excitement as he informed his mother. Changmin shook his head fondly and went back to playing his video game.  
   
  
  
Yunho’s hometown, Gwangju, was small and out in the country. But he loved visiting it because it felt homey.  Also, the people of Gwangju were always simple with their words and actions unlike the hustle and bustle of living in a large city like Seoul. He considers himself more of a city boy at heart, but for Yunho, he’d move out to the country…if only for the peace and quiet.    
   
 The moment they entered the small Jung house, his lover’s mother came running and embraced Yunho tightly…then did the same to Changmin.  
  
“Look at you boys! So grown up…more handsome every time I see you!”  
  
“Mom, don’t…”  
  
But she wasn’t listening, only continued to gush. When she professed to a hot meal waiting for them in kitchen, Changmin’s already large ears perked up.  Yunho noticed this subtle change and laughed out loud.  
  
“Let’s go eat, Minnie!” And he grabbed the other boy’s hand to drag him into the kitchen.  
  
Yunho’s sister was there pouring drinks. Her eyes went straight to her brother and his friend’s clasped hands…this caused Changmin to let go hurriedly.  
  
Then Yunho’s father came in and there was lots of greetings and exchange of pleasantries before they all sat down for dinner.  
  
 “So, Changmin, how’s your father?”  
  
“Good, sir. He asks about you often.”  
  
“Ahhh, well, be sure to send him my regards.”  
  
“Will do, sir.”  
  
Everything seemed to be going smoothly especially since the food was delectable as Changmin stuffed his face with it as politely as possible.  
  
Then Yunho’s mother asked, “So, Yun, have you met any nice girls?”  
  
His lover choked slightly on his drink and responded, “Oh, ah. Mom, you know we have no time for that now…we’re too busy.”  
  
Then Yunho’s father interrupted. “A friend of mine has a wonderful daughter I’d like you to meet.”  
  
This caused Changmin to choke on his drink. Yunho glanced at him then his father. “Dad, you know I don’t like the idea of an arranged marriage.”  
  
“Oh honey, we’d never force you to marry anyone,” the mother said appealingly. “We just want you to find happiness.  
  
“I am happy,” Yunho said in a small voice.  
  
His mother sighed. “I know you’re busy. And you and Changmin have each other, but I just thought…”  
  
Yunho’s sister had been giving her mother the eye for several minutes. “Mom, I really think we just leave Yunho to do what he wants.”  
  
Changmin breathed a sigh of relief inwardly. But his stomach jumped at the comment _you and changmin have each other_ …does she know about them?  
  
Yunho’s father suddenly turned his attention to the quiet young man. “Changmin, are you full? You’ve stopped eating.”  
  
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t feel very good…I think I ate too fast.” He rubbed his stomach for good measure.  
  
His best friend gasped and started rubbing his stomach for him. “Oh Minnie, you should go lie down! Go to my room now and rest, please?”  
  
Unable to make any eye contact, Changmin nodded and left the room, but not without bowing and thanking them for the food.  
  
He took his and Yunho’s luggage up to the room with him and collapsed on the bed.  Changmin knew this honeymoon period couldn’t last forever…he knew there would be obstacles. Would they be able to withstand the pressures of normal society to do what’s expected of them? Because he knew his own parents won’t be any different when he visits them later next week. His mother constantly asked him on the phone if he’s found a girl to bring home yet.  
  
Changmin ended up falling asleep with his worrying thoughts and briefly remembered Yunho undressing and tucking him into bed.  
  
He woke up the next morning with his lover snuggled into his chest. He smiled and wrapped his arms around him tighter. No girl could take this away from them.  
   
In the midst of Yunho showing him around Gwangju, they both ended up meeting the girl Yunho’s father had mentioned. To put it plainly, Changmin didn’t like her. And no, he wasn’t being biased, thank you very much!  
  
The girl was…safe. She was a simple small town girl, sweet and pretty, and just as clumsy and gullible as Yunho himself.  
  
He watched his lover’s interaction with this girl as they all gathered in the living room after dinner. Yunho was being as charming and polite as ever.  He poured the girl some tea but ended up burning his hand.  
  
“Ouch!” The older boy mumbled and blew on his hand adorably. The girl had stars in her eyes and Changmin shook his head in disbelief.  
  
 _My God, Yunho, you are hopeless!_  
  
Then just as her handsome would-be suitor was going to hand her the tea cup, he tripped slightly on the table leg and a bit of hot tea landed on her arm which caused her to knock the sugar spoon off the small table.  
  
He watched as Yunho murmured apologies as he tried to wipe her arm with a napkin. Forgetting the stinging on her arm, the girl looked up at the handsome older man adoringly.  
  
Changmin closed his eyes in disgust. _Yup, death by clumsiness was in the horizon for these two._ _Honestly, who will be taking care of whom? Because they certainly can’t take care of each other!_  
  
He knew he was being unnecessarily judgmental but, as a person who prides himself on his ability to handle Jung Yunho with finesse, everyone else falls short in his eyes.   
  
There was something that made him wonder though. Yunho enjoyed being particularly gentle to this girl…does he ever desire to be the ‘man’ in their relationship? He’d never thought to ask because they fell into each other with Changmin naturally dominating.  
  
His lover does always pride himself on being manly in public…what if it bothered him in the past that Jaejoong never let him take charge? What if Yunho becomes resentful towards Changmin for this? It made him shaky to think Yunho might leave him for this reason. Maybe he should offer for his lover to fuck him for once…  
   
That night, after the girl and her father left, Changmin was determined to test out his theory.  He took a particularly long shower, cleaning himself extra hard. When he entered their room, he saw a freshly showered Yunho lying on the bed in a big t-shirt and boxers.  
  
“I showered in the guest bathroom…you took too long, that’s not usually like you.”  
  
Changmin barely heard him. He was too focused on the wet bangs plastered to that small face. _Damn, I wanna fuck him so badly._  
  
But he walked over and tried to pretend to be meek…maybe to entice Yunho to take him. His older lover just looked confused by his new act.  
  
 _Urgh, so dense sometimes! Guess I’m just gonna have to spell it out for him._  
  
Blunt yet trying to maintain some subtlety, Changmin asked huskily, “Yunho…have you ever wanted to…you know… _do me_ instead.”  
  
Yunho tilted his head in question. “Huh? Do you?”  
  
Changmin pinched the top of his nose with his fingers and asked slowly, “Do.You.Want.To.Fuck.Me? As in put your dick in my ass?”  
  
The older boy’s jaw dropped and all he got was a bunch of blinking as a response.  
  
“Maybe we should give it a try…I mean you’re a man too…”  
  
Yunho finally closed his mouth. “You’re serious? You’d want to try it? Never thought you let me…”  
  
“Now why would think that? When have I ever said no to you?”  
  
Smiling sheepishly, Yunho shrugged. “Where is this coming from? You’ve never expressed any desire to…turn the tables so-to-speak.”  
  
Eying the other man’s legs, Changmin started to get impatient. “Look, you wanna do it or not?”  
  
“Yes!”  
  
 _Well, that was too eager of a response…maybe I was right._ He mentally patted himself on the back for guessing correctly. He can do this…he can take it up the ass…for Yunho only though.  
  
Changmin stripped himself of his towel, which caused Yunho to pounce on him.   
  
 _This is not condusive to our little experiment_ , the maknae thought as his lover tried to practically climb his body with a puppy-like enthusiasm. _He needs to stop acting like such a bottom if this was going to work!_  
  
Changmin took Yunho by the face and stated fimly, “Fuck me.”  
  
The young man wrapped around him moaned with desire and climbed down his body to push him onto the bed.  
  
“We have to quiet,” Yunho warned as he squeezed some lube on his fingers. “This is still my parents’ house.”  
  
“HA! I know how to be quiet unlike you.”  
  
Yunho pouted but tried to focus on the task at hand…literally since he was spreading lube around Changmin’s hole.  
  
The young man lying on his back started to get nervous.  It’s not that he didn’t trust Yunho…he just hated feeling or appearing vulnerable.  
  
Yunho rubbed his right thigh with one hand as he slipped a finger inside him. Changmin hissed.  
  
To make things better for his lover, he leaned down to lick at the other man’s long, hard length, even mouthing at his balls.  
  
Changmin thrusted up into that wonderful mouth in response…finally adjusted to the fingers moving in and out of him.  
  
After a few minutes of torture, the youngest man whispered urgently for the older man to take him. When the man on top of him lined up his slick cock and entered him inch by inch, Changmin closed his eyes.  
  
It burned. It burned so fucking badly. He felt guilty at the rough way he had handled Yunho their first time together.  
  
Feeling like he had to move, Changmin angled his hips a different way to ease the pressure and this caused Yunho to slide all the way in smoothly. Both boys groaned.  
  
“Move, Yunnie, just move…”  
  
The dancer used the power of his hips to thrust into him sharply.  It felt so strange but he was finally getting used to it. Then Yunho nudged a spot inside him that caused a ripple of pleasure to run through him.  
  
“Are…you…okay, Minnie?”  
  
Changmin couldn’t respond so he nodded and pulled Yunho closer to him. They fucked like that for several mintues…soon those minutes turned into almost an hour.  
  
This was nothing unsual because the young men were known for their endurdance when they slept together.  However, Changmin noticed flickers of annoyance and frustration on his lovers face.  
  
“Min…I…can’t…why can’t I…”  
  
The man on his back knew immediately what the problem was. Wrapping his legs around Yunho’s waist, Changmin flipped them over and let the other’s man cock slide out of him.  
  
“What are you – AHHH – OHHH – YES!”  
  
Wasting no time, the maknae spread Yunho’s ass cheeks, spit into them, fingered the pink hole a bit, and eased himself into that delicious passage.  
  
 _Fuck yeah. This is where I belong!_ Changmin thought arrogantly as he plunged into the squirming and panting man underneath him.  
  
This was Yunho’s weakness. To be fucked – more specifically by Changmin. He was and always will be helpless to it if one were to go by his loud cries.  The maknae put his hand over the other man’s mouth to keep him from letting the entire household know they were fucking like rabbits.  
  
Yunho gasped and dug his nails into his lover’s biceps. “Oh my God…love you…I love you…so much!”  
  
 _Love…as in…in love?_ Just hearing those words sent the maknae’s heart soaring.  
  
Not too long after, Yunho shot cum all over Changmin’s chest…his back arching off the bed like a feline.  
  
“I’m so…close,” Changmin let out harshly.  
  
The leader wiggled and tried to slide down, moaning, “Cum in my mouth, Choikang…”  
  
The younger man growled and pulled out just in time for his cock to meet Yunho’s mouth.  
  
 _Shit! Fuck! Double fuck! That tongue!_  
  
Yunho licked and sucked at the head of his cock without touching him, just opening his mouth in servitude.  Changmin trembled and exploded into the willing mouth.   
   
The man under him swallowed all the cum lewdly and continued to suck at the sensitive cock.   
   
“You should be illegal…”  
   
Yunho giggled and said, “Took you long enough…thought you’d never fuck me.”  
   
All Changmin could do was collapse on his stomach…then those words registered. “What do you mean? Did you not enjoy fucking me?”  
   
The older man laughed. “Of course I did…you feel heavenly. But I can’t come properly without a proper…shove.”  
   
Proping himself up on his elbows, Changmin leaned over to bite Yunho’s bottom lip. “You’re my certified bottom, that’s why.”  
   
“It’s not my fault! You’ve spoiled me!”  
   
They had a few laughs then Yunho asked seriously, “What made you suggest this?”  
   
“That girl…”  
   
“What, you thought I’d leave you for that girl?” His lover asked incrediously.  
   
Changmin flipped over and laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. “It could happen…especially since I never gave you the chance to be the ‘man’ in this relationship.”  
   
Yunho chuckled. “I am the man in this relationship…you will forever be the nagging wife.”  
   
The maknae glared at the other man, daring him to say that again.  
   
“Now, now calm yourself, let me finish,” Yunho said cheerfully. “You let me be in charge in public because I’m your hyung…and I appreciate that. But I don’t get off on controlling you…I don’t want to control…can’t you see I need you to take care of me?”  
   
“I know that! But that girl – “  
   
“That girl is a girl. But I’m not in love with her, nor could I be. Like I said, you’ve spoiled me.”  
   
Changmin turned over on his right side. _There it is again…in love. Why the hell can’t I say it back to him?_  
   
He felt Yunho hesistate then try to snuggle against his back…as if afraid he will get rejected and pushed away. Instinctively, Changmin turned back to reach out and hold him close. There was a sigh and a whisper of _I love you’s_ before the sweet man in his arms fell asleep.  
   
   
  
It was Sunday evening and time for the boys to travel back to Seoul.  As they said their good bye’s, Yunho’s mom pulled him aside and said, “Please take care of my boy, Changmin. He needs you.”  
   
She gave him a knowing look that made him uncomfortable. He nodded and bowed politely anyway. “Thank you for feeding me this weekend.”  
   
After a pause, his _mother-in-law_ bursted out laughing. She reminded him of Yunho at that moment so he grinned back widely.  
   
Later in the car ride home, Yunho admitted, “My mom and sister know about us.”  
   
“What?!” He hit the breaks.  
   
“Calm down. Keep driving and I’ll tell you.”  
   
Taking a deep breath, Changmin continued driving. “How the hell did they find out? Did you cave and tell them? Damn it, Yunho!”  
   
“I didn’t tell them! It’s woman’s intuition or something! They already guessed…they guessed the same thing when I was with Jaejoong.”  
   
He gripped the steering wheel harder. “Don’t.Say.His.Name.”  
   
Yunho bit his lip and turn away to look out the window.  “You’re still angry.”  
   
“What did you expect?”  
   
“I thought you’d forgiven me…”  
   
Changmin glanced at him quickly. “Listen, baby, I don’t give a fuck if you slept with 100 different people…I would still want you. I tried to stay mad, I really did. But the thing with Jae- _that guy_ is…well, you were probably your normal guillable self so I don’t blame you. I blame that bitch.”  
   
Either Yunho ignored or completely didn’t hear the veiled insult because that next moment he felt sneaky hands working their way inside his pants.  
   
Silently thanking the heavens above for what ever he had said to deserve this, the younger man consentrated hard on not crashing the car as he got one of the best blowjobs of his life.  
   
   
  
  
It was back to work now and a month later the Dong Bang Shin Ki boys released their new single “Superstar” while performing at a couple of shows for KBS and preparing for A-Nation in August.  Last year they had missed A-Nation so Changmin was particularly happy to be part of the festival this year, especially with leader-sshi, or he should say with his husband by his side.  
   
No body at the company suspected anything about them.  Some of their artist friends made little snide comments about their CoupleShinki status with the media and fans. It doesn’t help that they were attached at the hip, and one always asked for the consent of the other before doing anything.  
   
Kyuhyun caught him in SM’s dance room doing some extra practice and jabbed him in the chest. “Hey, so where’s your husband?”  
   
Annoyed, Changmin jabbed him back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
   
“Oh, oops, my bad. Where’s the wife?”  
   
The Dong Bang evil maknae couldn’t help but smirk. “He’s hanging out with BOA in recording studio.”  
   
The Super Junior evil maknae smirked back.  “Girl talk, eh?”  
   
Both maknae chuckled loudly at their joke.  
   
“And what’s so funny?”  
   
Yunho had walked into the dance studio unnoticed, heading straight over to Changmin and grabbed his arm.  
   
“Oh nothing.” He put his hand on the older man’s lower back and grinned subtly at Kyuhyun, who continued to cackle.  
   
Little did Kyuhyun or any of their friends know that the HoMin jokes contained the truth behind their relationship.  And Changmin preferred it to stay that way.  He wasn’t exactly sure who would be acceptant of their situation and he wanted to shield Yunho from insensitive people.  
   
Speaking of insensitive people, the devil came knocking again.  One evening, after getting home from rehearsal, Yunho had dared to walk into the apartment with his shoes on.   
   
“It was an accident, Minnie!” the leader tried to defend himself. “Why do you have to make it such a big deal?”    
   
“Yes, please, just parade that dirt from the street all over our apartment…that’s not going to be a bitch to clean at all!”  
   
Yunho threw his hands up in the air and said, “You are such a girl sometimes!”  
   
Changmin lifted an eyebrow. “Are we really gonna have to go over this again?”  
   
In response, the older man turned around but looked back at him coquettishly. Instantly, he forgot why he was angry.   
 _Damn him._  
   
Before he could promptly pounce, Yunho’s ringtone “Why?” sounded off interrupting their foreplay.  
   
It was Jaejoong. He couldn’t stand being in the same room listening to all the nice chatter, so he walked away without a backwards glance and locked himself in his bedroom.  
   
Minutes later, the sound of Yunho’s voice could be heard from the other side. “Minnie…could you open the door, please? I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”  
   
Changmin hesitated in opening the door. He didn’t want to face his lover when he asked the burning question on his mind for weeks. Instead he slid down the door to sit on the floor, prompting his arms up on his knees.  He heard Yunho do the same on the other side.  
   
“I wanna know everything about that night.”  
   
“Huh?”  
   
“That night you went out with Jaejoong. I wanna know every detail…everything down to how he was in bed.”  
   
He heard Yunho sigh. “Baby, I know for a fact you don’t want to hear those kinds of details. You’ve never even asked me about my past relationship with him.”  
   
“I know a few things from the past. For instance, I know he was never that gentle with you. I know he never understood you.”  
   
There was a brief silence then Yunho said desperately, “Minnie, I don’t remember sleeping with Jaejoong.  Not one single detail stuck…it’s as if it never happened…”  
   
Changmin didn’t respond just listened as his husband told him everything from the beginning. Something was amiss though.  
   
“So hold on a second…you got shit-faced from one drink? I know you’re a light-weight but you’re not that bad.”  
   
“I know, Minnie, I don’t know what happened to me. He kept insisting I drink it…then my memory gets fuzzy.”  
   
Then it clicked. But before he jumped to any conclusions he asked, “Yunho, was your ass even sore the next morning?”  
   
An almost shocked pause took place.  “What do you mean…I…uh…actually no. I don’t remember having any trouble…in that area.”  
   
 _Of course he didn’t! Because he never slept with Jaejoong at all! Fuck!_  
   
He stood up and opened the door quickly. Yunho tumbled into his room.  Changmin didn’t even let that cute, up-side down confused expression deter him.  Stepping over the older man, he grabbed his keys and put on his shoes.  
   
“Changmin! Where are you going?”  
   
“To kill him.  I’ll be back in a few!”  
   
Yunho grabbed him by the arm. “Are you insane? You can’t kill him?”  
   
“I can. And I will.”  He tried to pull away but his lover was hanging on to him like baby monkey.  
   
So he ended up taking the older boy along with him. This was fine. Maybe Yunho needed to finally see Jaejoong’s true colors.  
   
They arrived at the bitch’s apartment minutes later...Changmin didn’t waste any time in banging on the door loudly.  
   
All he saw was their former band member’s shocked face before he dragged him up by his shirt collar.  
   
“How.Dare.You.Drug.Him?!”  
   
Jaejoong’s eyes widened then glared. “I don't know what you're talking about.”  
   
“I think you do…”  
   
  
   
  
 _It was a couple of months ago, after Yunho left on his ‘date’ with Jaejoong, the maknae was pacing all over the apartment…too worried since it was already 2 in the morning and his boyfriend still wasn’t home._  
   
 _He tried calling Yunho several times throughout the night but he never picked up. The only thing comforting him right now was the fact that Jaejoong was a former close friend to both of them…there’s no way he would let Yunho get hurt at least._  
   
 _During his fidgeting and pacing, Changmin found their sex tape and decided to watch it for the 100 th time. As he watched it, he felt dread sink in his stomach. _What if I lose this beautiful thing he has with Yunho? What if Yunho and Jaejoong are having sex right now?  
   
 _A tear of frustration fell down his cheek._ Please…Please, I can’t lose him.   
   
 _He ended up passing out on his desk chair at 4 in the morning. A few hours later his ringtone “Checkmate” startled him awake._  
   
 _“Yunho? Baby? You okay?” He asked urgently into the phone._  
   
 _“It’s not your baby.”_  
   
 _“Jaejoong? Where the hell is he?”_  
   
 _“In my bed.”_  
   
 _A stunned silence followed. He expected this but still…it hurt._  
   
 _Swallowing, Changmin asked calmly, “Where’s your apartment? I’m gonna come get him. We – we have an interview later.”_  
   
 _Jaejoong laughed condescendingly. “Well, of course, maknae.” After he told him the address, his ex-friend added, “You know he danced for me…he was beautiful - ”_  
   
 _Changmin hung up on that annoying voice and closed his eyes tightly. Two tears squeezed out of his eyelids and fell onto his palm._  
   
I lost him to that pretty boy…again.  
   
   
  
  
“Is it true, Jaejoong?” Yunho came out from behind Changmin and confronted the older man. “Did you drug me?”  
   
Jaejoong pushed the maknae away hard and held out his hands to ex-boyfriend pleadingly.  “Please, Yunnie, it was just a pill to get you to relax…we were fighting a bit and I just wanted us…to be like we were.”  
   
“And you thought drugging me was the best way to do this? You tricked me. We never slept together that night did we?”  
   
 Their former lead singer approached and wrapped his arms around the band leader’s waist. “I missed you desperately.”  
   
Changmin interrupted curtly.  “Answer the fucking questions, Kim.”  
   
Jaejoong looked over the rude boy and stated plainly, “Fine, asshole. There was technically no sex.” But then turned back to Yunho. “And technically, I never said anything about sleeping with you…not my fault you two assumed that’s what happened – “  
   
Changmin snorted.  
   
“I just wanted to be close to you, babe…”  
   
He watched as the formerly dubbed umma of their band stroked his lover’s face and hair lovingly.  
   
“You only continue to get cuter and more beautiful with time, you know that? Do you remember how perfect we used to be together? The ultimate power couple…the fans loved us together. No one could beat what we had…”  
   
Jaejoong didn’t even bother to keep his voice down…Changmin heard it all.  And with every word he saw Yunho’s expression grow more and more confused and heartbreakingly hopeful.   
   
 _Don’t listen to him, Yunnie…don’t listen to him…_  
   
“…you remember when we first met? I was the only one who understood your situation…having struggled on the street too. Unlike some _pampered princes_ out there, you worked hard to get into the company. You were so eager back then…always calling out to me _Hyung! Hyung! Come see this dance routine! Hyung, I missed you!_ ”  
   
Changmin’s stomach was twisting into tight knots. But he watched in horror as the YunJae couple moved closer together and Jaejoong continued his speech and stroking.  
   
“I’ve been so lonely, Yunnie. So damn lonely! Do you know I spent last Christmas alone? Nobody really cares about me…only you. You’ve always cared.”  
   
The sympathy and affection in Yunho’s gaze was killing Changmin slowly. _I’m losing him…losing him!_  
   
“I love you, babe. Let’s be together…we could be just as perfect – “  
   
“YUNHO!”  
   
The couple turned to stare at him.  Yunho in particular was alarmed. Changmin couldn’t take any more…he was suffocating.  It was like breathing through a straw.  The words that exploded from his mouth had been stuck in his throat since forever.  
   
“I LOVE YOU, YUNNIE. I love you, love you, love you.”  
  
Yunho gasped and put a hand over his own heart. With his head hanging down, Changmin continued pleading miserably, pride completely thrown out the window.   
  
“I need you…I need _so much_ , baby. I can’t live without you. You _are_ my one and only weakness…the one and only exception to all the rules I discipline myself with…don’t leave me…please.”  
  
In a zombie-like state, Yunho walked over to Changmin and stared at him in disbelief. The youngest man sunk to his knees and pulled the older man to him by the waist.  With his face buried in Yunho’s belly and his arms wrapped around that slim body like tentacles, Changmin finally calmed down enough to just let silent tears roll down his face.  
  
“He’s lying to you, Yunho,” Jaejoong commented reproachfully. “When have you known Shim Changmin to be gay? It’s never going to last. He will leave when he gets bored and a lovely girl makes eyes at him. I won’t leave though…I love you.”  
  
Changmin ignored those words and just hung on to his hyung tighter. He felt the older man shift and push him away gently.  
  
 _This is it. He’s leaving me._  
  
“You won’t leave me?” Yunho asked with fire in his eyes. “You _already_ left me! Left me and never called or tried to find out how I was doing! You disappeared from my life and broke every promise you ever made to me! Do you know who took care of me when you left? This boy right here…no, this man! He stayed with me through the hard times, so how dare you accuse him of something _you’ve_ already done heartlessly?”  
  
Jaejoong stood there in stunned silence. Then seemed to shake himself and respond haughtily, “You’re not thinking clearly. You’ve never spoken to me this way…must be _his_ influence.” He pointed a finger at Changmin.  
  
The maknae’s insides were in turmoil.  He watched as Jaejoong tried to grab Yunho’s arms, but the other man pulled away and stepped closer to the young man still on his knees.  
  
“I’m not in love with you anymore, Jaejoong.”  
  
Looking like he got slapped in the face, Jaejoong asked in disbelief, “You’re not…you don’t love me?”  
  
“I will always care for you deeply as a friend but you killed whatever love I had for you with your actions. I’m sorry.”  
  
During a pause Yunho pushed back Changmin’s bangs absentmindedly as he continued to address Jaeoong.  
  
“You’re not in love with me either, Jae. You’re in love with the _idea_ of us. Don’t think for a second I didn’t know deep in my gut what you used to do with Yoochun and various others behind my back. When we were together, I felt like your corrupted world was burying me alive…at times I lost sight of myself. ”  
  
Then, Yunho turned to Changmin while still talking to his ex-boyfriend.  “Changmin became my light.  If I stay with you now, I will lose myself completely. And even though I know Minnie would be there to piece me back together again, I’m not willing to hurt the person I love for your sake.”  
  
Changmin couldn’t stop gazing at Yunho. _You are so fucking beautiful and pure…never change, my Yunnie, never change. And I will fight forever to protect your innocence._  
  
Almost as if he understood him, his lover bent to kiss him softly on the lips.  
  
“Leave! Both of you! I don’t need you!” Jaejoong shouted in anger.  
  
Turning back, Yunho took a deep breath and approached his ex-lover.  “I will always be here for you…I don’t hate you.”  
  
“Liar.”  
  
“I don’t hate you!”  
  
Before Jaejoong could respond, his cell phone rang.  “Hello? Yoochunnie? Ahhhh…yeah, I’m just…yeah… I’d love for you to come over…ok, bye.”  
  
Their former band member hung his head down in defeat.  Yunho spoke up, “Jae, you don’t know what you want…and I’m not willing to wait around for you to figure that out.”  
  
Jaejoong turned his back to them. “Leave now.”  
  
Yunho grabbed Changmin’s hand and led him to the door. Before they walked out, the maknae glanced back at Jaejoong’s rigid stance. Without the possibility of losing the love of his life, he felt the need to settle matters somehow.  
  
“I don’t like you, nor do I trust you,” the maknae stated plainly. “But if you need anything…”  He let his words trail off to imply the meaning behind his offer.    
  
Jaejoong’s stiff back eased a bit and he responded aloofly, “Thank you. Good-bye.”  
  
The two lovers made their way inside the elevator before facing each other. When the doors close, neither of them pushed the ground floor button.  
  
“You’re in love with me?” Yunho asked with bated breath.  
  
Walking the slightly shorter man into the elevator wall, he whispered, “I’m in love with you…and don’t plan on stopping any time soon. If you fall for a girl, I don’t care…I will still love you. You want me to be your lover, I’ll be your lover. You want me to be your friend, I’ll be your friend. But please always keep a part of your heart for me…allow me to always be a part of your life. That’s all I ask.”  
  
Putting a hand over Changmin’s wildly beating heart, Yunho said in awe, “Who are you? Since when are you this open and romantic, baby?”  
  
“You do that to me.”  
  
Yunho laughed, his beautiful smile shining brightly. “You, Shim Changmin, are my soulmate!”  
  
“And you’re my eternal sunshine.” Then he bent down slightly to sip on those delicious plump lips while silently thanking the powers above that this man chose him.    
  
Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin never left each other’s side for 8 years...at the root of it all, they are best friends.  They will always be a part of each other’s life in some way, shape, or form.  Their hearts and souls spiritually bonded from the first day they met, but only became official on that faithful night in Spain. Nothing could break them.  
  
That night, their bath together turned into sweet love-making in the tub. Afterwards, Changmin laid out on the balcony with Yunho in his lap talking animatedly about the plans for their next Japanese album.  His best friend, lover, and husband also shared with him all his worries about the future. He listened attentively, responded in all the right places. And as he breathed in the scent of the fresh air mingled with Yunho’s honeyed scent he thought, _whatever the future holds doesn’t matter._ Come what may.  
  
How many people find that one person in their life that will always be by their side and love them? Not to mention have mindblowling, _pull-you-by-your-hair_ , earth-shattering sex with?  
  
Yunho laid his head on the strong chest underneath him.  Settling back into his chair to stroke his baby’s soft black hair, Changmin could only think one more thing before dozing off…  
  
 _Well, isn’t this the good life?_  
 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> 1\. Hello, boys!  
> 2\. Want to get married?  
> 3\. Come, come with me!  
> 4\. Beautiful men! Congratulations.  
> 5\. Love is beautiful and has many forms. God tells us to love one another... to take care of each other. So for two people to find true love in each other is the gift of life. These two men ...  
> 6\. What are your names?  
> 7\. Good luck, guys!


	8. Part VIII - The Sex Tape I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making it through and falling in love, issues still arise! That's part of life...

It was a couple of months after Yunho and Changmin married and had their honeymoon in Spain, and a few weeks after their confrontation with Jaejoong and Changmin’s open declaration of love to Yunho.  
  
  


The A-Nation concerts had just ended the day before and the Dong Bang Shin Ki boys were back in Korea taking it easy for a week.  
  
 

Some of Yunho’s old friends from Gwangju came to Seoul for a day.  He currently at the movies and then they were all going to go bowling.  Yunho had wanted Changmin to come along but his husband said _there was something pressing he has to finish and has no time for games_.   
  
  
  
Yunho had tried not to pout as he walked out the door, leaving his lover alone in the apartment. Really, the maknae’s anti-social ways were nothing new.

  
  
The movie he was now watching with his friends ended with a scene where the lead guy profoundly admitted his love for the girl he saved.  As Yunho munched on some popcorn, his mind wandered to Changmin’s confession.

 

  
  
 _“I LOVE YOU, YUNNIE. I love you, love you, love you.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho gasped and put a hand over his own heart.  
  
  
With his head handing down, Changmin continued, “I need you…I need so much, baby. I can’t live without you. You are my one and only weakness…the one and only exception to all the rules I discipline myself with…don’t leave me…please.”  
  
  
  
In a zombie-like state, Yunho walked over to Changmin and stared at him in disbelief. The youngest man sunk to his knees and pulled the older man to him by the waist.  Yunho’s heart contricted as he felt those strong arms wrap around his waist and wetness seep into his shirt…Changmin was crying. _

  
  
Yunho sighed like a lovesick fool…his friends on either side of him turned to give him a strange look. 

  
  
 _My beautiful maknae-husband can be so romantic at the oddest times!_  He thought as he smiled and offered his friends more popcorn.

  
  
Finally, the movie was over.  Instead of going bowling like originally planned, he made up an exuse about having to get some rest before a long rehearsal tomorrow and left them with a hug and a promise to call later.

In all honesty, he missed Changmin.  He knew this was too clingy and probably terribly unattractive but all he wanted at the moment was to be home cuddling with his real-life Bambi.

Yunho walked through the front door of their apartment as quiet as a mouse…he wanted to sneak up on Changmin.  He tiptoed until he reached the younger man’s bedroom.  The door was slightly ajar but before he could throw it open with a theatrical yell, loud moaning and panting emanated from the room.

  
  
 _Is that…oh my God…are those sex noises?_

  
  
His hand froze on the door knob…the playful attitude leaving him immediately.  A million irrational thoughts jumped into his head. 

  
  
 _Is he someone in there with him?_  
  
  
  
 _Is he cheating on me?_

  
  
Then it occurred to him the noises sounded virtual.  
  
 

_Oh God…he’s watching porn!_

  
  
Yunho hadn’t suspected Changmin of watching porn since the first time they slept together.

_Why now?_

A miserable symphony played in his head as the only plausible conclusion hit him.

  
  
 _I’m not desirable enough to him anymore!_

  
  
He heard Changmin let out a soft whimper.  Yunho put a hand to his mouth and ran to his room...so distraught, he slammed the door shut.

  
  
To confirm his suspicions, he went straight to the full length mirror and took off all his clothes.  He then eyed his face and body critically.

  
  
 _Eyes too small…_

  
  
_Face scars too ugly…_

  
  
_Arms and legs kinda cubby…._

  
  
_And worst of all, manboobs that jiggle!_

  
  
Yunho put his arms around his waist and breathed in a shuddery breath.  There was a knock at the door then.

  
  
“Baby, you’re home already?“

  
  
Suddenly extremely angry and hurt by his husband’s private, dirty habit,  Yunho shouted, “Ya, so what? Didn’t want me home this soon?”

  
  
After brief pause, the door began sliding open slowly.  Yunho squeaked and ran to the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin before Changmin saw anything.

  
  
The taller man walked in hesitantly.  The bundle on the bed peered at him through narrowed eyes.

  
  
“What’s wrong, Yunho?” Changmin asked worriedly as he climbed on the bed to hover over his husband.  “Did something happen?”

  
  
“You can say that.”

  
  
“Well?”

  
  
“Well, what? I don’t want to talk about it! But if I did want to talk about it, I’d say you’re a jerk!”

  
  
Changmin raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what did I do that makes me a ‘jerk’?”

  
  
Yunho’s body was starting to get overheated at the younger man’s proximity.  “I really just want  
to go to sleep, Changmin.”

  
  
The other man shrugged and tried to slide into the bed with him.  Yunho pushed him away and turned away from him.

  
  
“Please…I’d like to sleep alone tonight.”

  
  
There wasn’t any movement behind him after he said this. When he peaked over his shoulder, he saw Changmin looking lost and confused.  His heart clenched at the sight but he remained stoic.

  
  
“Yunnie…what…why…”

  
  
“I’m not in the mood tonight…”

  
  
Changmin pulled him around roughly. “Who said I wanted sex?”

  
  
 _So it’s true! He doesn’t find me desirable anymore!_

  
  
Crying a little inside, Yunho pushed the maknae away again.  “Do what you want, I don’t care.”  He was suddenly tired and disgusted with his own body.

  
  
Without saying a word, Changmin turned off the lights and laid down on the bed with him…careful not to touch.

  
  
The next morning, Yunho woke up with large, brown eyes blinking at him and his arms wrapped around the tall maknae. 

  
“Bambi here! Good morning, Yunnie!”

  
  
Forgetting he was still naked, Yunho pushed himself away like the other boy had the plague and ran to the bathroom…leaving behind a very dumbfounded husband.

  
  
He laid his head against the door and sighed. Changmin hadn’t used the Bambi-wake-up-call in a very long time...it kind of shook him up that it was even needed now.  They usually woke up in each other’s arms and made love. Now…well, now that he knew he wasn’t sexy enough was a major mood-killer!

  
  
There had to be a solution to this problem.  It’s not like Jung Yunho doesn’t know how to be sexy…hell yeah he can be sexy!  He has girls screaming and drooling all the time, thank you very much!

  
  
Yunho eyed himself lewdly in the mirror as he ran his finger across his lips sensuously…yup, the fans loved that move!

  
Then it occurred to him - maybe he can seduce Changmin! Unfortunately, the naïve boy knows nothing about seducing anyone.

  
  
 _Who can I ask for help about this?_

  
  
He knew he needed a female…men were going to be no help in his plight to seduce a man like Changmin.

  
  
 _BOA! I can ask BOA!_

  
  
Yup, Jung Yunho was a genius.  

 

  
  
Since they had the next couple of days off, after breakfast, Yunho took advantage of the free time to call BOA.  Changmin was still eating in the kitchen so the man-on-a-mission sat on the sofa in his usual doggie-sitting-on-his-hind legs position and dialed BOA’s number.

  
  
“Yun-dol! What’s up?”

  
  
“Hi! How are you, BOA?”

  
  
“Good, good. And you?”

  
  
“I’m alright. I kinda wanted your advice…I mean opinion about something.”

  
  
“Shoot!”

  
  
Changmin walked in at that moment.  “Who are you talking to?”

  
  
Yunho’s eyes widened.  “Uhhhhh…”

  
  
“OMO! Is that Changminnie? Tell him ‘HI’ for me!”

  
  
The maknae heard her shouts and hollered back a hello as he turned on the television and Playstation.

  
  
Yunho whispered into the phone, “BOA, I need you to focus!”

  
  
“Ok, sorry. I’m ready, what is it?”

  
  
Changmin sat in the middle of the couch and started playing a video game…throwing covert  
glances at Yunho every few seconds.

  
  
 _ARGH! The one time Minnie doesn’t play video games in his room! Oh, but he does look yummy shirtless…I wanna to bite that neck and proceed to those wide lips and…_

  
  
“Hello?”

  
  
 _ARGH! Yunho focus!_

  
  
Taking advantage of the loud noises from the T.V., Yunho said quietly in one breath,  
“Hypothetically speaking, let’s say there's this person who wants to seduce another person, how would this person go about doing it?”

  
  
There was no indication that BOA was a bit fazed by this question. “Hmmm…well…hold on a second.”

  
  
Yunho waiting and watched as Changmin killed 10 zombies like a ninja and yell out joyously while eyeing the young man on the phone to make sure he saw his victory.

  
  
“Ok, Yunho, here are 8 ways to seduce a man.”

  
  
“Wait, what? Do you just have a list lying around or something?” He tried to keep his voice to a whisper as his hand flailed about.

  
  
BOA scoffed good-naturally. “Of course not, I googled it. Why didn’t you just google it, huh?”

  
  
“I’m forbidden to use the internet…”

  
  
The pop star on the other line laughed out loud. “Changmin’s got a tight leash on you, doesn’t he?”

  
  
Yunho felt himself blush. “Can you just tell me the list, please?”

  
  
“According to this website a woman must show confidence and lots of eye contact.”

  
  
“But I’m not a woman!”

  
  
Changmin threw him a strange look.  Yunho coughed and hid his face behind his hand…as if trying to make himself invisible.

  
  
“Yunho, is this about Changmin?”

  
  
“No! Please, can you go on with the list?”

  
  
BOA muttered something that sounded a lot like ‘Ya right!’ but continued nonetheless, “You…I mean a girl needs to set the right environment, look to kill, talk in a sexy tone, flirt, and smell good.”

  
  
Yunho glanced over at Changmin in time to see his jaw clench and curse at the video game.

  
  
“Anything else?”

  
  
“Oh and _play hard to get_! Men usually go crazy for that…it keeps them on their toes.”

  
  
After making a mental check list, he thanked BOA profusely.

  
  
“You’re welcome, Yun-dol! Oh one other thing…”

  
  
“Yeah?”

  
  
“Good luck with Changmin!”

  
  
“This is not about Ch-“  BOA hung up before he protest any further.

  
  
 _Women!_

  
  
No matter. He had other bigger fish to fry. Getting out of his crouching position to sit Indian style and face Changmin, Yunho thought hard about what the ‘set the right environment’ means.

  
  
 _I already overused my candle-lite evening idea…maybe a dinner at a nice restaurant?_

  
  
_Nah, too boring…plus it wouldn’t work with the play hard to get instruction._

  
  
For some reason a flash of memory came back to him of a man in a club hitting on him and  
Changmin angrily dragging him away.  He remembered how the maknae had held him tightly  
that night.

  
  
 _Ha!_ He thought with a cheesy grin on his face as he continued watching Changmin. _A club sceen would be the ‘right enviroment’ to try out all the seduction techniques!_

  
  
Changmin paused the video game and fully turned to face his husband.  “I sense you have something to ask me.”

  
  
 _Remember confidence!_

  
  
“Let’s go to a club together. I wanna go dancing.”

  
  
Changmin raised an eyebrow. “Dancing? We dance all the time.”

  
  
“Well, I want to go to a club with you!”

  
  
Putting up his hands in defense, Changmin consented to the idea.  When the maknae leaned over to steal a kiss, Yunho backed away teasingly and put his fingers up to the other man’s full lips.

  
  
“We should go tonight,” Yunho said in what he thought was a husky tone.  “Wear something to accentuate these _hard_ arms and chest muscles, ok?”

  
  
He added a moan to the word ‘hard’ and squeezed his husband’s biceps.

  
  
Changmin frowned in confusion at the spectacular in front of him but remained silent. Tonight was definitely going to be interesting.

 

  
That night Yunho locked himself in his room an hour before their date.  He hoped the flirting and playing hard-to-get he had done all day long will pay off.  He had called BOA after his shower to ask her what he should wear. 

  
  
“Leather, Yun-dol, leather…you’ve got to give the illusion that you have an ass.”

  
  
“What?! I have an ass!”  _In fact, Changmin had no problem spanking it from time to time!_

  
  
He decided it was best he doesn’t mortify BOA with this detail though.

  
  
So here he was, pulling on a pair of tight black leather pants and a cotton v-neck red top, then turned around to analyze his ass in the mirror.

  
  
 _I do too have an ass! And tonight I’m going to remind Minnie exactly what he’s missing!_

 

  
  
As requested by Yunho, Changmin wore an oufit that showed off his defined muscles: a white sleevless shirt and tight black jeans with boots.  And with a stylish fedora hat covering his eyes, only one word came to find: Yum.

  
  
 _He’s just so naturally sexy!_ Yunho thought begrudgingly but proudly. _I’m already seduced and he’s not even trying!_

  
  
But pretty much the entire drive to the club Changmin glared at Yunho, who while driving kept stroking the younger man’s left thigh.

  
  
“Did you have to wear those pants?” Changmin asked rhetorically.

  
  
Yunho just contined to rub those delicious thighs.  Deep inside he hoped Changmin was not objecting to his outfit because it was unflattering.

  
  
Only God knew how he indulged a little too much in the cookies his husband made earlier that day.  Yunho looked down quickly and could see his chest sticking out and a slight pudge in his stomach area.

  
  
He tried not to let his insecurities eat away at him…this night was about seduction. _And one can’t seduce if one was not confident, you see!_

 

  
  
Soon they arrived at one of South Korea’s most secluded clubs…exclusive to celebrities and VIP guests.  Yunho lowered his hat over his eyes and did the same to Changmin then grabbed his hand to lead him to the club’s entrance.  Once inside, Yunho turned to Changmin and ordered, “Get me a drink!”

  
  
He doesn’t particularily enjoy being this bossy, but the confidence was all part of the plan.

  
  
Changmin’s eyebrows raised high into his bangs. “I don’t think giving you alcohol is such a good idea.”

  
  
Unfazed, Yunho pulled the younger man down so his lips touched those cute, big ears. “Why? Afriad you can’t handle me?”

  
  
Frowning, Changmin started sniffing Yunho’s neck.  “What is that smell? You’ve reeked of it since we left…”

  
  
 _Oh no! He doesn’t like the new fragerance!_ Faking nonchalance, Yunho threw his head back and laughed.  “It’s called ‘sex appeal’...”

  
  
Changmin frowned deeply.

  
  
Maintaining eye contact, Yunho asked coyishly, “Dance with me?”

  
  
  



	9. Part VIII - The Sex Tape II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making it through and falling in love, issues still arise! That's part of life...

The taller boy looked startled but got thrown into Yunho before he could reply.  
  
  
  
Three guys had come up behind him and were laughing loudly: it was Kyuhyun, Siwon, and Heechul.  
  
  
  
“Hey, it’s the HoMin couple!” Kyuhyun boomed and punched Changmin’s arm.  
  
  
  
“Quiet, Kyu…” The Dong Bang maknae ordered with his eyes focused on the excessive hugs Yunho was receiving from both Siwon and Heechul.  
  
  
  
Kyuhyun pouted. “You’re a big meanie, Choikang! Hyungs, he’s being mean to me!”  
  
  
  
Siwon smiled indulgingly while Heechul ignored his young band member only to pull Yunho’s body closer to his and nuzzle his neck.  
  
  
  
“Yun-dol! I never get to see you that often…I miss you!”  
  
  
  
Yunho didn’t mind Heechul’s affectionate ways but Changmin’s glare was scaring him.  
  
  
  
Backing away slightly, the Dong Bang leader asked, “How did you all know we’re here?”  
  
  
  
Siwon answered. “BOA told us…thought you guys might like some company.”  
  
  
  
BOA? What the hell? Is she trying to ruin all my plans?  
  
  
  
So far Changmin hasn’t been responding like he’d hoped to his outfit, scent, and overabundance of confidence and flirting. Am I doing it wrong?  
  
  
  
What’s worse was Kyuhyun was currently hanging all over his husband who wasn’t pushing him away. How dare he?  
  
  
  
Feelings hurt, Yunho grabbed both Heechul’s and Siwon’s hand and asked them to dance with him.  
  
  
  
Heechul was not much of a dancer, and neither was Siwon. But they watched in awe as Yunho let his dancer body move…losing itself in the sensual vigorness of the hot rave beat pulsating in the club. He barely even registered Heechul rubbing closely on his right side.  
  
  
  
“Hey, Siwon!” Heechul leered. “Let’s make ourselves a Jung Yunho sandwich!”  
  
  
  
He laughed but continued dancing as his two friends squished him in between them. It felt  
good to be have his friends so close but then his gaze wandered to his husband who talking to a young woman at the bar.  
  
  
  
Squinting his eyes, he recognized her to be Lee Yeonhe, the girl who played Changmin’s wife in his drama “Paradise Ranch”.  
  
  
  
She was tall for a girl and looked incrediblely pretty in a pair of stylish shorts and a shimmering top. Lee Yeonhe was talking to Kyuhyun as well but her eyes were on Changmin most of the time. She even leaned in to whisper something in his ear, to which he laughed heartedly to.  
  
  
  
Bitterness suffocated him and must have shown on his face because Heechul leaned in to stroke his hair and nose bump his cheek.  
  
  
  
“What’s wrong, Yun?”  
  
  
  
He had stopped dancing and was staring at the happy couple. She’s a sweet girl – such a perfect height for Changmin…they looked good together.  
  
  
  
No matter what I do, I can’t seduce like a girl…eventually I’ll lose my appeal…and it looks like I already lost it.  
  
  
  
Yunho suddenly felt awkward and ugly trying to dance sexy in an effort to entice Changmin, and felt like a fool for even attempting this whole ‘seduction plan’.  
  
  
  
Heechul followed Yunho’s line of sight only to spot Changmin still talking closely with the young actress.  
  
  
  
The pretty older man spun Yunho around to face him. “Is he hurting you like…the other one?”  
  
  
  
Yunho shook his head and backed away. Out of nowhere, Changmin appeared behind Heechul with an indescribable fire in his eyes.  
  
  
  
Heechul turned to stand in front of Yunho as if guarding him.  
  
  
  
“What did you do? If you’re not treating him right somehow…”  
  
  
  
Changmin kept his eye on Yunho as he answered, “With all due respect, hyung, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
  
  
“Oh don’t I? This is like a repeat of Jaejoong…”  
  
  
  
Yunho stopped hearing their argument and just watched the flickers of frustration on Changmin’s face.  
  
  
  
He knew Changmin wouldn’t cheat on him…he trusted this boy from the bottom of his heart.  
  
  
  
He was scared though…scared to death Changmin will get bored of him when he knew the younger man would be too nice to admit it.  
  
  
  
And now that his master plan was a complete bust, all Yunho wanted to do was go home, put on his pajamas, and eat some ice cream.  
  
  
  
Putting on a fake smile, he excused himself from their discussion…they didn’t notice him slip away because their argument was getting heated. The last thing he heard before disappearing into the crowd was Changmin saying, “I’m nothing like him, hyung! This is just…”  
  
  
  
Yunho decided to go to the bathroom before leaving. But the moment he stepped through the doorway someone grabbed him.  
  
  
  
“Hey there…never thought I’d see you here!” A deep voice said as rough hands pushed him into one of the stalls.  
  
  
  
The man’s face looked familiar…was it…  
  
  
  
It was the same guy who had been nice to him that night he got drunk at a club and Changmin came to get him.  
  
  
  
But now this guy wasn’t so nice…he was groping him in places he only wanted groped by his lover.  
  
  
  
Yunho pushed those roaming hands away and asked, “What are you doing here?”  
  
  
  
“Oh I run in the celeb circles on occasion…what’s your name again? Sorry, all I can remember is that sweet ass of yours…”  
  
  
  
The burly man was trying to peak under his hat but Yunho didn’t let him.  
  
  
  
The Dong Bang leader was angry now…angry at attracting the wrong kind of attention…angry  
at Changmin for watching porn when he should be in love with him enough to find only pleasure with him.  
  
  
  
Yunho shoved the guy away from him and out of the stall.  
  
  
  
“Aw, come on, baby, don’t be like that!”  
  
  
  
Baby? Argh…only Changmin was allowed to call me that in a sleazy tone! The Jung Yunho then proceeded to pull some Hapkido on this guy’s ass – high kicking and ninja chopping him to the ground.  
  
  
  
“Don’t touch me ever again, got it?”  
  
  
  
The other man stared up at him, dumbfounded with his back flatten to the bathroom floor.  
  
  
  
Yunho looked up, panting slightly, and saw Changmin standing in the doorway.  
  
  
  
“Guess you didn’t need me to save you…you’re amazing, ya know that?“  
  
  
  
Yunho blushed and shook his head.  
  
  
  
Changmin let out a forced laugh and beckoned him to follow with a soft look.  
  
  
  
  
They left the club with hugs from their friends. Heechul and Changmin shook hands with a look of understanding passing between them.  
  
  
  
The two lovers didn’t speak to each other until they arrived at their apartment.  
  
  
  
“We smell like smoke from that club…wanna shower together?”  
  
  
  
Yunho looked down at his body and shook his head, declining politely. “I’ll just take a quick one  
first.”  
  
  
  
He could feel Changmin’s dark aura behind him.  
  
  
  
The depressed young man barely got passed rinsing out his hair from the shampoo before the shower door swung open and Changmin appeared, naked in all this glory.  
  
  
  
“Please, let me…” The Maknae tilted Yunho’s head under the spraying water as he threaded his long fingers through the other man’s hair.  
  
  
  
“I’ve been concerned about your recent behavior, so I called BOA.”  
  
  
  
Alarm bells went off in Yunho’s head.  
  
  
  
“She told me you asked for her advice on how to seduce a man...have you been trying to seduce me this whole time?”  
  
  
  
Changmin buried his face in Yunho’s neck as low chuckles rippled through his tall body.  
  
  
  
Oh Lord! I am never going to live this one down.  
  
  
  
Using one hand to steady himself on Yunho’s hips and the other hand to wipe any residue from his lover’s small eyes, Changmin continued to laugh his ass off for a few minutes.  
  
  
  
“Please, stop making fun of me, Minnie.”  
  
  
  
Changmin immediately stopped laughing at the serious tone. “Why the hell would you try to seduce me? Pretty useless to devise a plan to get a lion to eat meat!”  
  
  
  
Stupid, genius maknae and his stupid metaphors!  
  
  
  
Yunho raised his voice. “Well, I must not be a very fresh piece of meat since you weren’t the least bit seduced!”  
  
  
  
Then he pushed away from Changmin. But just as he stepped out of the shower stall, he slipped on the wet floor.  
  
  
  
Changmin caught him but they both ended up hitting the floor with Yunho landing on the other boy’s warm, wet body.  
  
  
  
“Ouch! My ass!” The maknae mourned. “Why’d you try to run away like that?”  
  
  
  
Even though the feel of Changmin’s chest felt good against his back, Yunho stood up and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. Before walking out of the bathroom, he grabbed another towel and threw it in Changmin’s face.  
  
  
  
“You know what you’ve done, Shim Changmin!”  
  
  
  
Voice muffled behind the towel, the younger man asked, “What’d I do?”  
  
  
  
Yunho stomped out of the bathroom and just as he was about to slam his bedroom door shut, strong hands stopped the door’s movement.  
  
  
  
“Come on, Yunnie! Tell me what I did wrong!”  
  
  
  
They played tug-a-war with the door, one trying to keep it open, the other trying desperately to shut it.  
  
  
  
“No, leave! I don’t talk to perverts who watch porn!”  
  
  
  
“Huh? Perverts? Porn? What’re you talking about?”  
  
  
  
“I know you still watch porn, Changmin! Admit it already!”  
  
  
  
“What? That’s not true! I don’t. Well, maybe a few times before we really got intimate but that was for educational purposes, damn it!”  
  
  
  
Yunho gasped and let the door swing open. “Educational purposes?! What is wrong with you?!”  
  
  
  
Panting, Changmin stumbled into the room. “Why are you pushing me away? Is this part of  
your ‘seduction plan’? Because let me tell you now: it’s.not.working!”  
  
  
  
It hurt worse to actually hear it. Yunho’s angry expression fell to a pout. “I knew it.” Then he sat hopelessly on the bed.  
  
  
  
Changmin’s icy expression didn’t break. “I know what’s going on now. You thought I was watching porn, so you thought seducing me would get me to stop –“  
  
  
  
“YOU DON’T FIND ME DESIRABLE ANYMORE!” Yunho couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I heard you in your room yesterday…all the porn sounds coming from it! You can’t hide it anymore! Is that what you do whenever I visit my friends?”  
  
  
  
He took a deep breath and carried on, not looking Changmin in the eye.  
  
  
  
“I know I have scars on my face…I know my eyes are too small…I know my chest is too big no matter how much I work out. I know you’ve never been with a man before me, and you may feel I’m not enough sometimes. But I love you…”  
  
  
  
A brief tense pause passed between them, then Changmin declared calmly, “You’re an idiot.”  
  
  
  
Yunho lifted his head in annoyance. “Excuse me?”  
  
  
  
With an eye roll, Changmin stalked towards Yunho, grabbed a pretty hand and put it on his own crotch.  
  
  
  
“Changmin!”  
  
  
  
“Feel that?”  
  
  
  
The older boy felt “little” Shim lengthen in his hand. Yunho bit his bottom lip eagerly.  
  
  
  
“I’m perpetually hard because of you. I want you every minute of every day…you leave me aching and throbbing for you just by breathing. So how dare you say I don’t find you desirable  
anymore?”  
  
  
  
Yunho squeezed his hand lightly causing Changmin to groan.  
  
  
  
“Why would you try to seduce me? You have me already!”  
  
  
  
Changmin’s talking was making Yunho horny. He stripped the taller boy of his towel and licked the head of his cock.  
  
  
  
He looked up to see Changmin’s head fall back. “That’s it, baby, I missed that mouth!”  
  
  
  
So Yunho sucked hard, relaxing his throat so that his lover could fuck his mouth.  
  
  
  
“Ah shit! Shit, Yunho!”  
  
  
  
He felt the first spurts of cum in his mouth and he let the cock go so he would swallow properly. Yunho licked his lips and stared up at Changmin hazily.  
  
  
  
As if remembering their earlier conversation, the maknae said while breathing hard, “Porn? You think I have enough energy or cum left after being with you?”  
  
  
  
“But the sounds…” Yunho muttered.  
  
  
  
Changmin chuckled and stroked the head below him. “Your suspicions were essentially correct, but not the way you think…”  
  
  
  
 _He moved Yunho aside and stood up to walk over to the camera. Standing behind it, Changmin focused the lens on the boy still lying on the floor.  
  
  
  
“No, Shim Changmin! Resist your urge for pornography because this can only lead to trouble!”  
  
  
  
The maknae let out a chuckle, but ‘accidently’ hit the record button as he walked back to Yunho.  
  
  
  
Towering over Yunho, he said haughtily, “I want you to suck my cock first.”  
  
  
  
Looking up at him smolderingly, Yunho’s only reply was to sit on his knees and pull down the towering boy’s sweats and underwear in order to immediately putthat cock in his mouth.  
  
  
  
After a few more wonderfully agonizing minutes, Yunho pulled back slightly and coated his lips with the precum at the tip of the cock.  
  
  
  
“I can taste your sweat.” Yunho murmured.  
  
  
  
Changmin winced. “Sorry I—“  
  
  
  
“No! I’m not complaining…I like it.” The older boy even kissed the tip and licked his lips to prove his point.  
  
  
  
Changmin stopped him by pushing him on his knees.  
  
  
  
“Now be a good partner and deal with this erection like the professional slut you are!”  
  
  
  
Yunho let out a hungry moan.  
  
  
  
“Minnie! Just put it in…no need to…ahhhhh!”  
  
  
  
Inserting two finger in, Changmin said dryly, “I’m not gonna hurt you like he used to.”  
  
  
  
Just a minute or two of more preparation and the younger boy lined up his cock and pushed in.  
  
  
  
Changmin ran a hand up Yunho’s curved spine causing the boy thrusting backwards to shudder.  
  
  
  
“Faster, Minnie! So close!”  
  
  
  
Changmin sped up the movement of his hips to point where the sound of skin on skin echoed in the dance room.  
  
  
  
Slowing down and making each thrust longer, Changmin leaned down to press his chest against Yunho’s back…he caught the older boy’s left ear with his teeth and glanced at the large mirror-wall to his left.  
  
  
  
Nudging the gasping boy’s head to the side. “Look over there, Yunnie…”  
  
  
  
The moment their eyes met in the mirror, they both came._  
  
  
  
Yunho stared wide eyed at the computer screen. OH MY GOD! I AM AN IDIOT!  
  
  
  
Changmin scooted closer to him on the bed and replayed the sex tape again. “So you see, my dear oblivious husband, I was physically cheating on you with…you.”  
  
  
  
“Minnie, you don’t masturbate to this, do you?” He watched in awe as video!Min fucked him doggie style into the dance floor.  
  
  
  
The maknae shushed him. “This is my favorite part…”  
  
  
  
 _“I wanna fuck you like an animal…I wanna feel you from the inside…”_  
  
  
  
Yunho turned red as a tomato. “Did you have to put it in slow motion and add that song?”  
  
  
  
His husband grinned like Cheshire cat. “I’m a good video editor, aren’t I?  
  
  
  
He buried his face in his hand. “Oh my God, my chest is all over the place in slow motion!  
Make it stop!”  
  
  
  
Changmin tutted under this breath. “I happen to adore your moobs, don’t ruin it for me!”  
  
  
  
Yunho tried hiding under the covers but the evil maknae wouldn’t let him. “Get up. Go stand in front of that mirror, please.”  
  
  
  
The leader relented and stood naked in front of the full-length mirror hanging on the wall,  
eyeing his body in distaste.  
  
  
  
Standing behind him, Changmin made him lean against the mirror and spread his legs. Slicking up his fingers up with lube, the taller male slipped his long fingers into the tight hole in front of him.  
  
  
  
Yunho cried out and pushed back against those fingers.  
  
  
  
“I love your scars…they represent the strength inside you…”  
  
  
  
Changmin placed kisses on the back of Yunho’s neck as his fingers continued to work their magic.  
  
  
  
“You’re eyes are bright and remain innocent no matter how much you’ve seen or what you’ve been through…and that's precious to me.”  
  
  
  
Slipping his fingers out of the loosened hole, Changmin tapped his cock a few times against the other boy’s ass, making obscene sounds with it then entered Yunho with a grunt.  
  
  
  
“Look at us…look at you…so fucking beautiful!”  
  
  
  
Yunho kept his hands flat against the mirror, steadying himself while thrusting back in ecstasy. Changmin was holding him around the waist with his head on Yunho’s shoulder…almost the perfect picture of innocence if it wasn’t for the fact he was fucking the older boy’s brains out.  
  
  
  
“Min – Minnie!”  
  
  
  
He felt warm hands squeezing his chest then pinching his nipples.  
  
  
  
“And these…” Changmin gritted out. “These moobs were created for my enjoyment…if you ever think about decreasing their size, I’ll never forgive you!”  
  
  
  
One hand stayed on his chest and another dropped to stroke his hard cock. Yunho whined loudly and climaxed, shooting cum all over the mirror.  
  
  
  
The sex tape had been playing on loop this whole time…and Changmin continued to fuck him through that sexy song – hitting his prostrate right on every time “I wanna fuck you like an animal” lyrics came on.  
  
  
  
When the song ended, video!Min and the real one behind him came at the same time.  
  
  
  
“YUNHO! AHHHHHHH….mmmmmm!”  
  
  
  
Yunho squeezed his hole tighter around the trembling cock, milking it while reaching backwards to pull Changmin in for an open-mouthed kiss.  
  
  
  
They parted to breathe properly a few minutes later.  
  
  
  
“Sexiest.Thing.On.Earth…FUCK!” Changmin moaned, dripping in sweat and turning Yunho only to slam him against the mirror.  
  
  
  
The maknae looked him straight in the eye. “Never.Try.To.Seduce.Me.Again. Your natural smile and sweet, pure scent is enough to have me dry humping your leg, got it?”  
  
  
  
Yunho nodded. He was never going to doubt Changmin’s desire for him ever again!  
  
  
  
A second later his mobile rang. He ducked under his lovers arms and wobbled to the answer it.  
  
  
  
“Hi, Yun-dol! Soooooo, how’d go?” BOA asked excitedly.  
  
  
  
He turned to see Changmin leaning naked against the mirror while mouthing “I love you”, his hands coming together in the shape of heart.  
  
  
  
“Perfect. Just perfect.” Yunho smiled and mouthed “I love you” back.  
  
  


 


	10. Part IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making it through and falling in love, issues still arise! That's part of life...

Dance club music blared. Changmin glared at his Yunho dancing in between two guys. It appeared Heechul and Siwon were first at a loss then moved in to sandwich a rambunctious Yunho, who was shaking his hips to the music enticingly.

 

Too busy focused on his husband making a spectacle of himself with two other men, Changmin failed to notice a young woman approach him.

 

“Changmin?”

 

He snapped his eyes in the direction of the female voice, ready to reject, when he saw it was Lee Yeonhee, his co-star from the drama, Paradise Ranch.

 

Kyuhyun had let go of Changmin at his point and began chatting with Yeonhee. Changmin involuntarily glanced at her small waist and down her long bare legs. He was still attracted to girls after all.

 

Yeonhee stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “I missed you, Changmin! Miss you yelling at me on that show!”

 

Changmin had to laugh at that. He really did yell a lot in his role as Hang Dongjoo. His eyes wandered over to the dance floor only to see Heechul holding a distraught Yunho by the arms. He forgot everything and everyone around him and made a beeline towards his partner. Yunho’s mix of vulnerable expression and sinful body was making him burn. He wanted to take his baby home!

 

But Heechul began accusing him of not treating Yunho right like Jaejoong did, which really pissed him off. His argument with Heechul distracted him so much he didn’t even notice Yunho slip away. Changmin worriedly looked around and figured his partner went to the bathroom.

 

“Don’t hurt him, Changmin. I’ll kill you.” Heechul threatened, drawing Changmin’s attention back.

 

“Don’t worry about that, hyung. He’s my everything.” Changmin said this so sincerely that Heechul mouth opened in astonishment.

 

He walked away then, in the direction of the bathrooms.

 

“Aw, come on, baby, don’t be like that!”

 

In the bathroom he heard some ugly guy call his baby ‘baby’. Changmin made a move to intervene but saw that Yunho had everything under control. He saw his husband slam that asshole to the ground with precise martial arts skills. Changmin smiled inwardly.

 

“Guess you didn’t need me to save you…you’re amazing, ya know that?“

 

When Yunho blushed and shook his head, some bitterness arose inside Changmin. Why was Yunho trying to change himself? He acted strangely earlier today and used a new cologne to mask his natural scent. Changmin needed to get to the bottom of this behavior.

 

They left the club immediately. The moment they arrived home Yunho announced he wanted a shower. Changmin watched him until he disappeared through the bathroom door. He noticed Yunho set his mobile down on the living room coffee table. Hastily, Changmin picked it up and navigated to the ‘recent calls’ and highlighted BOA’s name. Yunho talked to her a lot today. She would know what’s up.

 

He waited impatiently as it rang. Then he heard BOA’s voice say, “Yundol! How’d the seduction plan go? How did Changmin respond to it?”

 

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. “This isn’t Yundol.”

 

He heard BOA gasp. “Ch-changmin. Uhhhhhh. I – I was just joking…”

 

Changmin stayed silent as he began stripping his clothes off. BOA gave in to his judgmental silence.

 

“Ok, ok! He asked me for help on how to seduce a man. Soooooo, did it work?”

 

Naked and ready to join his partner in the shower, he responded, “Call back later and find out.”

 

Amused, confused, and frustrated, he wanted to coax Yunho into telling him why he devised such a stupid plan but just ended up laughing. A hurt Yunho ran away and almost slipped on the wet floor if Changmin hadn’t caught him. All he got for his good deed was a towel thrown at his face and vague reproach.

 

“You know what you’ve done, Shim Changmin!”

 

Changmin stood there more confused than ever. He followed his husband, tried to reason with him when an argument broke out. Yunho accused him of watching porn. The accusation wasn’t making sense and he was starting to get angry. Then Yunho shouted, “YOU DON’T FIND ME DESIRABLE ANYMORE!”

 

At first, Changmin was beyond stunned. Then, as he listened to Yunho belittle himself, he could only conclude one thing, “You’re an idiot.”

 

Changmin couldn’t believe he loved someone so dense. He made himself clear by forcing Yunho to feel his erection and reminded him how much he wanted him every minute of every day. This confession earned him a long-overdue blowjob. Ohhhhhh yeah! Those lips are heavenly!

 

He found out a short while later that the fool mistook their own sex tape for porn. So he played their steamy, edited by yours truly, sex scenes to a self-conscious Yunho. While the video played in the background, Changmin ordered Yunho to stand in front of the mirror where he proceeded to show him just how desirable he really was. It was beautiful to see Yunho fall apart as he took him from behind.

 

Pushing Yunho against the mirror, Changmin made a clear order. “Never.Try.To.Seduce.Me.Again. Your natural smile and sweet, pure scent is enough to have me dry humping your leg, got it?”

 

An interesting thing happened after that day. It’s like Yunho was now aware of his power over Changmin and used it to tease him when they were alone. Changmin found it endearing but at the same time maddening …especially when they were starting to get very busy preparing for the release of a new album in Japan.

 

They had been back and forth between Japan and South Korea for a week and now were back in South Korea for a few days. Changmin’s mother called him and demanded to know why he didn’t visit weeks ago when he said he would.

 

There was no point arguing with his mother when she became stubborn. He told Yunho, who immediately widened his eyes and asked him if he can come too. Changmin inwardly groaned. He thought he could go spend a day or two with his family then leave with no drama. But with the watchful eyes of his mother, sisters, and father, he doubted him and Yunho can leave there with no hassle. But Changmin wasn’t going to say no to a weekend with Yunho by his side, especially when his husband looked upset at the thought of being left alone.

 

So they both packed a small bag and headed to his parents’ house, located in the heart of the suburbs in Seoul. Yunho was quiet and anxious the entire drive there. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Changmin reached over and interlaced his fingers with Yunho’s left hand.

 

His mother ran to their car excitedly and drew Changmin into a bear hug. He breathed in her scent. He has always been a bit of a mama’s boy. He missed her. Looking up at the house, he realized how much he ached for a normal life.

 

Yunho approached Changmin’s mother, hesitated for a moment then hugged her. The mother looked surprised but pleased just the same, hugging back. Changmin smiled and shook his head, nudging Yunho towards the house.

 

His two sister, Jiyun and Sooyun, were waiting to greet them at the door. The girls immediately surrounded Yunho.

 

Rolling his eyes, Changmin shouted playfully, “Yah! Don’t you even care about your own brother?”

 

Jiyun stuck her tongue out and said, “Yunho-oppa is nicer!”

 

“Fine, fine then. Enjoy your Yunho-oppa while you can.” He held Yunho by the waist and whispered, “I’m gonna go find my dad.” Yunho turned his head towards him and nodded.

 

His sisters seem to freeze at their action. Just then, his father walks in. The boys bow to him. Changmin embraces his father.

 

The evening goes smoothly enough. After a delicious home-cooked meal for dinner, they all sat in the living room for a long chat. Changmin pulled Yunho to sit next to him on the loveseat, his arm place on the back of the couch behind the older boy’s head.

 

Jiyun and Sooyun came to sit around them and began excitedly asking them questions about their travels and their future plans for Dong Bang Shin Ki. His mother handed them a cup of tea, while eyeing them strangely. His gaze connected with his father who looked at him then stared pointedly at Yunho. Changmin frowned. Does he know?

 

Changmin let a finger trail sneakily down the back of Yunho’s neck. His husband shivered. His sisters stared at each other then back at the boys.

 

“So, Yunho-oppa, do you have a girlfriend?” Sooyun asked slyly.

 

Changmin said snappishly, “Mind your own business, Sooyun.”

 

Unperturbed, Sooyun continued addressing Yunho. “I don’t know how you stand to live with him. He’s such a grouch. You must love him a lot.”

 

“Yeah, I do. Changminnie…” He felt Yunho’s gaze on him and couldn’t resist the pull. As they stared at each other, the room got quiet. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Everyone in the room jumped slightly.

 

It was an old neighbor at the door, Mrs. Lee. The older woman came in urgently with a baby in her arms and made a beeline for Changmin once she spotted him.

 

“Changmin, my boy!” Mrs. Lee gushed while hugging him. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Thought you’d be by to eat some of my homemade cookies!”

 

Changmin ducked his head in embarrassment. He pulled Yunho up to stand and introduced him to the old family friend.

 

“What a handsome boy! It’s nice to officially meet you, Yunho! Changmin talks about you a lot when he comes home.”

 

Yunho bowed. Changmin noted his lover’s intense focus on the baby. Mrs. Lee noticed it too.

 

“Would like to hold my daughter’s son, Yunho?” Mrs. Lee asked gently.

 

Yunho guiltily nodded. Mrs. Lee chuckled as she placed the baby carefully in his arms while making the sure the child’s neck was supported. Yunho gazed down at the baby for several minutes before asking, “Mrs. Lee, what’s his name?”

 

“Changmin, actually,” Mrs. Lee responded with a laugh. She reached over and pinched adult Changmin’s cheeks. “My daughter’s known you since you were a baby. She’s always been quite fond of you.”

 

Adult Changmin’s eyes bugged out. “Can’t believe your daughter named him after me. How…” He stopped talking as his gaze landed on Yunho and the baby.

 

Changmin had always known his best friend loved children. All the fans around the world knew that. Moreover, he has seen Yunho interacting with children on more than one occasion. But this time it was different. He unconsciously let Mrs. Lee sit him down as she retold everyone in the room stories of when Changmin was a kid. He barely paid attention to a word she said, having heard these stories multiple times anyway. He tried to be polite but his eyes kept flickering over towards his lover. Yunho was staring at the baby with sweet tenderness and a hint of longing. That longing stabbed Changmin straight in the heart.

 

A baby was something he would never be able to give to Yunho. Nature worked against them there. Changmin looked down at his lap, a wave of depression hitting him. I wish we can have a child.

 

His head snapped up. Since when was he a kid-person? Not that he hated the thought of children or anything. He just didn’t possess Yunho’s patience and gentleness. He tended to be blunt and a bit ill-tempered even when his intentions were out of love.

 

A loud cry interrupted his thoughts and Mrs. Lee’s second anecdote of the night. The baby was fussing and crying in Yunho’s arms. His lover looked up in concern. Changmin stood up and hurried over. “What’s wrong, ba – uh – hyung?”

 

“I think Changmin is hungry,” Yunho presumed.

 

Mrs. Lee stood up too and held out her arms. “Let me get him out of the way and feed him.”

 

“No!” Yunho exclaimed, then caught himself and bowed his head a little. “Sorry. I mean, could I feed him?”

 

If Mrs. Lee was startled by the offer, she didn’t show it. Instead, she disappeared into the kitchen with Changmin’s mother behind her to help. Changmin sank down onto the love seat beside Yunho and watched him try to pacify the hungry baby.

 

“Changmin,” his father spoke up seriously. “I need to speak with you privately.”

 

Mrs. Lee walked in then and handed the bottle to Yunho. She didn’t even have to tell him what to do. Yunho instinctively held the baby close and tested the temperature of the milk on his wrist, then allowed the baby to latch onto the rubber nub.

 

Changmin froze, forgetting his father’s order. The soft light in the room illuminated the adoration on Yunho’s face. There was that longing again. Maybe if I cum hard enough inside him, Changmin illogically grasped for a solution. Maybe if I just keep filling him up, we can create something with both our essence.

 

Out of nowhere, his father came into his line of vision. “Son? I said I need to speak with you.”

 

Startled, he followed his father to the study room, throwing a backwards glance at Yunho and the baby who were engrossed with each other.

 

Changmin seated himself in the chair across his father’s desk and waited for the older man to speak. A brief silence passed before his father sighed deeply and asked, “What do you think you’re doing, Changmin?”

 

He inclined his head in confusion. “What am I doing?”

 

“Yunho.”

 

Changmin raised an eyebrow. His father faltered a bit at the unintended insinuation. “Y-you know what I mean! This has to stop. Whatever it is that’s going on has to stop!”

 

Changmin felt like back in elementary school being reprimanded for a bad deed. “Father, there’s nothing –“

 

“Don’t lie me. I’m not blind. Your mother and sisters are not blind. Yunho’s family is not blind.”

 

Staring down at his knees, Changmin’s heart raced with nervousness. The older man sat back down in the chair, having stood up upsettingly in his outburst.

 

“Father,” Changmin spoke just above a whisper. “I love him.”

 

“Yes, he’s your best friend. You love –“

 

“No. I’m in love with him.”

 

Changmin finally glanced up, surprised his father wasn’t yelling. Instead, he sees pity in his old man’s eyes. “Son. You are confusing being in love with a deep attached forged due to circumstance.”

 

Changmin frowned. “Circumstance? You mean the lawsuit?”

 

“Yes,” his father nodded. “Your lives were changed abruptly and you only had each other. You are together all the time, you even continued to live together. Human beings tend to do things they normally wouldn’t do in dire circumstances. Tell me would this…this thing you have going on with Yunho have happened if the other three members were still with you?”

 

Changmin worried his bottom lip. “Father, I think I’ve always loved him…I think it would have happened eventually…” He word trailed off as his thoughts took him to Yunho’s past relationship with Jaejoong. Would Yunho have ever reached out to me if he wasn’t so hurt in the first place?

 

“I can see I’ve made you think more about this,” his father continued. “Let me shed more light on the reality here. If you were in love with Yunho –“

 

“I am in love with Yunho!” Changmin interjected.

 

“Fine,” the older man conceded patiently. “You’re in love with Yunho. What about your future? His future? I don’t want my son and a boy I consider a son to be ostracized. How are you going to live a normal life? You two will just hide forever? What about marriage and children? It appears Yunho desires children…you can’t give him that.”

 

Tears of frustration swarmed Changmin’s eyes. Words stuck in his throat, he couldn’t respond. How could he? All the things his father was saying was true. It hurt to hear. It hurt to know there was nothing he could do about it at the moment, especially given their fame.

 

His father walked over to squeeze Changmin’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just want what’s best for you. I don’t want you or Yunho to end up hurt by this.”

 

The only thing that Changmin could manage to ask was, “His father knows?”

 

“Mr. Jung found out about it from his wife and daughter. We spoke for several hours about it on the phone.”

 

Changmin hangs his head down for second. His mind instantaneously filled with the image of Yunho crying out words of love underneath him. He stood up quickly and faced his father with a confidence he didn’t fully feel.

 

“Father, thank you for your concern, but – but you are telling me to be unhappy by asking me to give up Yunho. I’m not pretending to know what I’m doing. I don’t have all the answers. All I know is we love each other…we need each other. Please, don’t take that away from me, father.”

 

The older man had a hand to his mouth and sadness in his eyes when Changmin finished speaking. Turning away, his father said, “You can leave now, Changmin.”

 

Changmin knows he’s being dismissed. He left the study room with a heavy heart and headache. The house was silent; he figured everyone had retired to their room. Upon opening his old bedroom door, Changmin’s worrying thoughts and headache disappeared. Yunho was lying bare-chested on the bed, an arm thrown protectively around baby Changmin.

 

He crawled up the bed to hover over his lover. Yunho’s mouth was open, snoring softly. How charming, Changmin thought fondly. He leaned down to kiss the other on the upper and bottom lip, running a hand up and down his lover’s smooth stomach. Yunho stirred, opening his eyes. “Changminnie! You’re here…”

 

He kissed the other man again. “Yes, I’m here. But why, may I ask, is the baby still here?”

 

Yunho shushed him and spoke in a quiet tone. “Mrs. Lee was watching Changmin for her daughter. She seemed tired…so after I fed him I offered to take care of him for the night.”

 

Changmin face-palmed. “Why must you do things like this? You’re too nice.”

 

Before Yunho could answer, the baby woke up fussing. Yunho lifted the baby in his arms and rocked him a little. “Look what you did!”

 

Changmin was miffed. He did nothing wrong and now the baby had Yunho’s full attention. His heart squeezed again at seeing Yunho’s longing expression.

 

“Changdol, could you hand me that bottle over there. I think the baby’s hungry.”

 

The maknae paused on his way to get it. “Changdol? That’s new.”

 

“I’ve called you that once or twice. You just don’t remember – OH!”

 

Rushing quickly to his husband’s side, he saw immediately what the problem was. The baby had latched onto Yunho’s right nipple and was suckling it very loudly. The mortified look on Yunho’s face was enough to make Changmin chortle at the hilarity of the situation.

 

“Stop laughing, you! He’s just confused!” Yunho justified desperately then addressed the baby. “Oh sweetheart, I don’t have any milk!”

 

But baby Changmin paid no mind and kept sucking happily. Adult Changmin literally dropped to the floor and rolled around laughing. Then he heard it. Yunho moaned.

 

Changmin popped his head up like a peacock. “What was that? Are you enjoying it?!”

 

“No, you sicko! It’s like he’s seeking comfort…so different from when you do this.”

 

Through clenched teeth, Changmin asked, “Good different?”

 

“Weird feeling is all.” Yunho pulled the baby away from his body then but mournful crying instantly filled the room. Yunho hastily positioned the child on his other arm. Baby Changmin stopped crying and lashed on to the left nipple.

 

Adult Changmin was glaring at the pretty, domestic picture in front of him. “You do know that is my rightful place. I can’t believe you’re letting him do this.”

 

Yunho rolled his eyes. “He’s just a baby, Minnie. Now, please hand me that bottle…maybe I can make a transition.”

 

Baby Changmin finally let the nipple go when he saw the bottle of milk. Yunho breathed a sigh of relief. Changmin calmed his irrational annoyance and sat beside Yunho to watch the baby eat. With the couple rings on their fingers and a child in between them, they could not look more married. Changmin basked in the warm, sickeningly sweet feeling this moment gave him.

 

The baby finished the milk in record time. Yunho burped him and laid him on the bed to change his diaper. Changmin really wished he could help but he just sat there in awe at his partner’s competence with this child.

 

Yunho asked him to watch the baby as he took a shower. This made Changmin nervous as hell. He stared down at the kid, who was eyeing him curiously. He tried to be playful by making goofy faces but, baby Changmin started whimpering. He tried picking the baby up but didn’t know how exactly, which resulted in him putting the kid back down on the bed. The baby sobs were getting louder and so he patted the little one on the tummy. This made the baby cry harder. Changmin felt like crying with him! Yunho, come back! Make it stop!

 

His lover came bursting through the door, still dripping wet and holding a towel around his waist. Changmin’s help-me expression must have said it all. Yunho dropped the towel, dressed quickly into a pair of red boxers, and rushed to the baby’s side. A few moments of rocking in Yunho’s arms and the babe fell asleep. Lucky brat! Changmin huffed. He left the room unnoticed, suddenly needing a nice, COLD shower all thanks to his dear husband flashing that sweet, small ass of his then covering it up.

 

When he entered the room fifteen minutes later, he saw the brat in the middle of the bed fast asleep with Yunho singing softly beside him. Changmin attempted to lie behind Yunho so he could embrace him but Yunho actually had the gall to glare at him and motion to the empty spot on the other side of baby.

 

Obeying to avoid an argument that might upset the sleeping infant, Changmin glowered up at the ceiling. Can’t believe I’m being cock-blocked in my own room!

 

Eventually, he fell asleep to the sound of Yunho singing a soft, melodious tune.

 

 

The next morning Changmin woke up to two things: the delicious aroma of his mother’s cooking and an erection the size of China. But he quickly became conscious enough to realize a hand was touching him there. Opening his eyes, he saw Yunho hovering over his erection.

 

“Ah! What are you doing? Where’s the baby?”

 

Yunho smiled and licked his lips. “Mrs. Lee came over early to pick him up. I was so busy taking care of little Changmin last night, I neglected big Changmin.” With closed eyes, Yunho licked up the hard cock and sought the head much like a baby seeking his bottle of milk.

 

Changmin’s eyes rolled back. “Sweet Buddha! Your mouth…ahhhhhhhhhh!”

 

His lover pulled back a bit to say, “I’m Yunho…your sweet Yunho.” Changmin nodded, dragging his sweet Yunho down on his cock. The other man sucked and slurped pre-cum eagerly making the younger man tremble with need.

 

Changmin tugged Yunho up to straddle him. Only then did he realize the older man was naked, he could feel a soft ass on his throbbing member. He reached down to finger the small hole, but found it already wet. Yunho looked down at him unabashedly. “I thought I’d save us some time.”

 

Changmin groaned and spread Yunho’s ass cheeks, a needy request for the other to slip his cock inside the tight entrance. No matter how many times he has been inside Yunho, it will always feel like the first time.

 

Yunho was biting his own fist as he rode Changmin hard and fast. Changmin practically tore his own lips open holding in screams. No need to alert the entire household of what they were up to.

 

They both came only minutes after…their stamina not strong this morning. Yunho collapsed on top of him, the boys panted into each other’s necks.

 

“Changdol?” Yunho asked once his breathing regulated. “What did your father want to talk to you about last night?”

 

His insides iced thinking back on his father’s lecture. Pushing it aside, he just hugged Yunho closer. “It was nothing. Just a father-son chat.”

 

For the rest of the weekend, Yunho spent a lot of time with Changmin’s mother and sisters, and they in turn enjoyed his company. Changmin caught up on his video games, only coming out of his room to eat and when Yunho insisted he greet his neighbors who (to quote his own mother) “would love to see the eldest Shim child”. They saw baby Changmin again, but the maknae dragged Yunho away before the bubbly leader temporarily adopted the infant again.

 

His father didn’t try to seek him out again, which made avoiding him for the rest of the weekend quite simple. He couldn’t avoid his sisters as easily though. Sooyun and Jiyun were determined to tease him about Yunho. He wondered if they knew the truth or were just trying to be obnoxious siblings.

 

When he guided Yunho out of his chair after dinner, Jiyun squealed, “Oppa! You treat Yunho-oppa like you’re married.”

 

Sooyun whistled. “Changmin, you should kiss him on the cheek!”

 

Yunho, too polite to ask them to stop, smiled awkwardly. However, Changmin wasn’t so considerate to the girls’ feelings. “Yay! Enough, brats! Put some food in your mouth, it’ll make you talk less!”

 

His mother, smiling as gloatingly as his sisters, commanded, “Don’t be mean to your sisters, Min.” His father stayed silent.

 

Luckily, they had to leave very early the next morning to prepare for their long trip to Japan. During their good-byes, his father still wasn’t speaking to him. Yunho asked him about it later in the car, but Changmin dismissed it. He wasn’t going to fill Yunho’s head with worrying thoughts when they were about to start a major promotional period in Japan. He figures there was no point to dwell on what might happen and just enjoy the now.

 

 

For the next few months until the end of the 2011 year, the boys were outrageously busy. There was an SM Town concert in Tokyo. Minho and Kyuhyun were ecstatic to see him. On the final stage, Minho jumped on him with overwhelming affection, and later on Changmin air-kissed Kyuhyun. He always missed these two guys. He wished he was normal and they could hang out like ordinary college guys.

 

At the last SM Town concert, Yunho had gotten jealous of his closeness with his friends. He didn’t see an angry, pouty Yunho this time though. All his lover did was cling to him in their hotel room and request kisses. Nonetheless, Yunho did request for Changmin to do more fanservice with him.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to open up more in front of the fans. But he refused to act like anything other than himself. Also refused to do or say something he wasn’t feeling. To hell with everyone who had a problem with that.

 

They were featured on several Japanese shows too like Music Station and Ontama. In their Ontama interview, when Yunho was asked what action he finds attractive in girls, the older man answered: when they put their hair behind their ear. Changmin couldn’t help but tease him and repeat the action while asking, “How about me?”

 

Yunho was amused if not a bit surprised but then rejected the younger man. Changmin laughed. Ohhh that had some bite to it. He must be learning from me!

 

Their new Tohoshinki album, Tone, was released soon after. The stream of promotion flowed faster than ever. If it wasn’t a Japanese show, it was a photoshoot and interview. Most of the shows were interesting and very funny. There was one that pissed Changmin off though. One of the hosts of Sakigake Ongaku Banzuke Eight flirted with Yunho during a game of rock, paper, scissors game…she certainly didn’t keep her fangirl crush a secret!

 

Changmin stormed to their dressing room with Yunho fighting to keep up. “What’s wrong, Minnie?”

 

“That woman! The fucking nerve! She wouldn’t stop flirting with you!”

 

“It’s not my fault she had a crush on me! What was I supposed to do? I can’t be rude!”

 

Changmin grabbed Yunho by the arms and pulled him up for a hard kiss. “Stupid bitch. Isn’t it obvious you’re mine?”

 

Yunho pulled away from him. “You’re being unnecessarily mean. The woman did nothing wrong!”

 

They barely spoke to each other the rest of the day.

 

His husband ate his words though when they went on the SMAPxSMAP show and one of the male hosts claimed Changmin was his type and attempted to move closer. Yunho found him later in the dressing room, climbed onto his lap and bit him on the lips.

 

“Ouch! What’s that for?”

 

“That’s for laughing and basically encouraging that other man to flirt with you!”

 

“I didn’t encourage it! I moved away and pretty much hid behind you!”

 

Yunho growled and kissed him hard. “Stupid bastard! You belong to me, Changmin!”

 

The younger man wrapped his arms around the other’s waist and smirked. “Oh you’re being unnecessarily mean, baby! The man did nothing wrong.”

 

Yunho just pushed away to stand angrily. Once again, they spent the rest of the day not talking.

 

Their tempers were shorter than usual due to barely having any time for each other. They only have time for a few kisses here or there. And by the time they got back to the hotel they could only collapse in exhaustion. Their schedules were becoming more hectic after their management arranged a Japanese dome tour starting at the beginning of the next year. Moreover, a Japanese director approached Changmin about starring in a new movie based on a novel called “Fly With Gold”. He was due to start filming with the cast, also at the beginning of next year.

 

Yes, there was definitely no time for sex…the occasional hand-job and fondling only. Changmin secretly hesitated to go all the way at the risk of hurting Yunho during such a crucial period of their career. They had to be in top shape all the time. And Yunho tended to push the limits of his body through dance. Changmin wasn’t about to make it worse for him.

 

Yunho and Changmin slipped into a routine similar to that of an old married couple. This couple aura seemed to reflect on the outside too because it inspired interesting questions and comments from interviewers. Neither of the boys hesitated in revealing little details about their life together. Although, at times a little too much was revealed…

 

“Must you always bring up the fact that I sometimes wear your underwear?!” Yunho whined one time backstage.

 

Changmin simply slipped his hands inside the back of Yunho’s jeans and squeezed. “I love knowing something that’s touched my dick is rubbing up against you all day long.”

 

Yunho’s cheeks reddened. “Squeeze me harder.”

 

They grinded their hips together for a few minutes. Too lost in physical bliss to notice their coordinator had come into the room.

 

A cough brought them back to reality. They sprung away from each other and shouted out excuses.

 

“We were practicing a dance,” Yunho firmly stated.

 

“Yunho thought he felt a bug, I was just helping,” Changmin argued at the same time.

 

The blonde coordinator raised an eyebrow. “Please. I’ve known about you two for a long time. It became especially obvious in Paris. There’s no point lying to me, I’m always with you.”

 

A flash of fear crossed the boys’ faces. The woman shook her head. “Don’t worry, sweethearts. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

 

Damn it! We’ve got to be more careful! Changmin worried one day they might crack in public.

 

But Changmin and Yunho were pillars of strength in front of the camera. Professionalism came naturally to them. Apparently, the public found that to be part of their appeal.

 

Just as Tone promotions ended, they began preparing for a grand total of twenty-six dome tours. It was less than that originally, but it was extended four more shows due to being given the honor of performed at the Tokyo and Kyocera domes!

 

Yunho embraced him tightly the day they were told about this. He thought his husband was going to cry. But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t, Changmin thought bitterly. Yunho still held on to the promise made to his dead grandfather: I won’t cry until I feel I’ve reached the top in my career.

 

The maknae wondered if he will ever get to see Yunho let go of the river he knew was flowing inside the other.

 

 

Changmin’s script for the movie he was starring in came in the mail. He had done a lot of research about his character the North Korean spy, Momo. A very cute Japanese name. It made him slightly nauseous to be honest. Yunho loved it though. Of course he did.

 

“MOMO! Give me a kiss!” Yunho demanded with kissy faces after hearing the name. Changmin rolled his eyes but gave in nonetheless.

 

He also had to grow out his hair for the role. There were some scenes where he had to go undercover as a woman. But the story in itself was deep and melancholy, he figured the audience would enjoy a bit of comedic relief during those parts. He was very honored for this role, working with some of Japan’s finest actors. But he was also helluva nervous wreck. It’s ALL in Japanese. It’s difficult to convey real emotions in a language not your native tongue. However, he was up for the challenge.

 

Yunho helped him memorize his lines at night when they had some free time. His lover moped around for a few hours, very depressed the day he found out how “Fly With Gold” ended. He told Changmin to wrap his arms and legs around him that night. Yunho kissed the top of his head and stroked his hair too. Changmin, though a bit taken aback, relished the attention.

 

 

The end of the year came and they were on several music programs…one being a festival concert in South Korea that featured many SM artists. This festival included a couple of members from a new group that will be debuting – Exo. The Dong Bang boys had gotten to know most of those young members already. Part of Changmin wanted to warn them. Tell them to go live a normal life…that this life was overrated and glamourized. But he kept his mouth shut like a good dongsaeng and let Yunho advice the younger boys.

 

 

On New Year’s Eve, their kiss at midnight turned into love-making on the couch. After months of sexual drought, they were able to fall into each other’s arms. Changmin stayed inside Yunho after coming. He let his hand caress down the Yunho’s chest.

 

On a natural high, he said the first thing that came to mind, “I wish I could give you a baby.”

 

Yunho jerked underneath him, causing Changmin to pull out completely. “What!”

 

The younger man moved back to the arm of the couch and drew Yunho into his arms. A naked Yunho rested his head on Changmin’s chest and asked, “What was supposed to mean, Minnie?”

 

“Seeing the way you had looked at Mrs. Lee’s grandson reminded me how much you want kids. I – I wish…I don’t know what I wish.” Changmin sighed, a hand unconsciously caressing his lover’s tummy.

 

Yunho sat up and stared at him earnestly. “Do you think you will desire a woman in the future?”

 

Changmin considered those words briefly. “It would be easier to live in society if I chose a woman. Same goes for you. But I can’t be truly satisfied in life without you…not having you close enough to touch would unbearable.”

 

Yunho bit his lip and rested his head back down. “Then, what’s the problem?”

 

“I’m worried you’re regret this later…you’ll realize I can’t give you everything.”

 

“Don’t you want children?” Yunho wondered.

 

“I suppose…with the right person.”

 

“Me?”

 

Changmin chuckled. “That just brings us back to the problem at hand. We can’t have kids.”

 

Yunho lifted his head again, eyes bright. “I know! We can move to Spain. Adopt a bunch of children. Live there forever!”

 

That was such a Jung Yunho answer, Changmin internally wept. “You’re so innocent. Always wanting to try the impossible.”

 

Yunho frowned. “Why is that impossible? We’re together now. Why can’t we always be together?”

 

“Okay. What about military service?”

 

“So we’ll be apart for a couple of years. We can make work. The time apart…well, it will probably do us some good.”

 

Changmin stopped stroking Yunho’s tummy. “What do you mean?”

 

His husband sat up on his knees to confess quietly. “I’ve become frighteningly dependent on you. I’m not sure if you feel the same. But eventually when we have to be apart for a few years, it will show us how real we are. It’s the ultimate test.”

 

Changmin was genuinely surprised. He underestimated Yunho’s awareness of their complicated situation. His partner usually had such a positive, almost idealistic outlook on things, he had feared worrying him with all these doubts.

 

“I love you,” Changmin said, sitting up to lick and kiss Yunho from his neck to his lips. The other giggled and wrapped his arms around Changmin’s neck. They tumbled back into heaven’s arms for the rest of the night.

 

 

Soon Changmin started filming “Fly with Gold”. And rehearsed for the dome concerts on the days he wasn’t on the movie set.

 

The first show of their Tone tour finally came and it exceeded Changmin’s expectations. Yunho bounced around, filled with joy after the show.

 

That night, he came out of the shower to see Yunho watching the television intently.

 

“What’re you doing?” Changmin went over to watch too. It was the two men who play Bibari and Rui on Picaru no Teiri show. They had done a small comedic act with them during their Tone promotions. On the screen, Bibari had just ripped Rui’s shirt.

 

He raises an eyebrow at Yunho. “Uh. You’re not getting ideas from this, are you?”

 

Yunho shrugged. “I just think we need to spice up our act for the concerts. This will be perfect.”

 

“I am not allowing you to ripe my shirt on-stage.” He paused and asked, “Can I ripe your shirt?”

 

Yunho blanched. “No! I’m in charge.”

 

Changmin stared.“Fine. Do what you want, oh dear leader-sshi. But don’t you dare ripe my shirt.” He just needed to indulge Yunho’s boy love fanservice tendencies. He could do that.

 

The maknae became very thankful for his long hair. It covered up the redness on his cheeks when Yunho wrapped an arm around him and said those suggestive words: “The intruder is finally gone!”

 

Changmin bullied Yunho away for the first few shows, lifting his fist up while chasing his giggling lover away. He decided to let Yunho have his fun for a while. Even if he died of embarrassment and laughter! But before long he planned to make those round cheeks blush too.

 

 

On his husband’s birthday, Changmin was in Japan filming while his other half was in South Korea celebrating alone. This depressed him, but during the day he asked a crew member to take a picture of him dressed as “Momoko” – Momo’s female alias disguise in the movie. He texted the picture to Yunho that night and immediately received a keyboard smashing response.

 

“MOMO! My pretty, pretty Momo!” Yunho shouted like a love-sick fool into the phone.

 

“Happy birthday, hyung. And don’t call me ‘pretty’!”

 

“But you are pretty! I wish you were here. Can’t believe we’re not together on my birthday.” He could almost hear Yunho’s pout from Japan.

 

Changmin responded soothingly, “We’ll be together for my birthday. We’ll celebrate then.”

 

“My pretty maknae,” his lover whispered. “If you were here I’d smear that red lip with my thingy. I’d make you stay in that dress as I ride you hard.”

 

Shit. Changmin’s cock woke up to the dirty talk. But he had to laugh. “Thingy? Oh baby, call it what it is. A dick.”

 

Gasping, Yunho reprimanded, “Don’t be crude! Call it a ‘thingy’!”

 

“Okay, okay. So you’d ride my thingy, eh?” Changmin said sleazily.

 

“Only if Momoko wants me too.”

 

Changmin’s hand slipped inside his own boxer to grasp his hard cock. “Oh Momoko will let you ride her, but Momo won’t be so nice. How would feel about Momo fucking you against a wall?”

 

Yunho moaned. “Yes, oh yes. Momo, do me nice and fast…”

 

The dirty phone sex went on until both boys came, panting roughly into their phones.

 

“Good night, birthday boy.” Changmin made a smacking kiss into the receivers and hung up. Damn, if he didn’t adore that man with every fiber of his being!

 

 

They had ended up celebrating Yunho’s birthday on-stage with the fans; he continued to let Yunho have fun being Bibari in the gag.

 

The night of Changmin’s birthday, after they had celebrated it on-stage as well, he collapsed on the king-sized bed after a hot shower. Out of the blue, the tune of Honey Funny Bunny started playing.

 

Yunho came swaggering in the room wearing the red velvet suit he performed in, and danced for him the same sexy routine. The same hip movements. The same crotch thrusts on the floor. Well, Fuck. He kept his eyes wide so he doesn’t miss one passionate movement.

 

The bathrobe on Changmin fell open, exposing his excited manhood. The song ended, then replayed. Yunho grabbed something out of a suitcase and put it on top of his head. It was a headband with bunny ears. The copper blonde hair Yunho had been sporting since the beginning of the year coupled with the white, fuzzy ears and bow-shaped lips made him look exactly like a bunny.

 

“Come here, sexy bunny,” Changmin breathed, grabbing the other’s hand. The bunny pressed himself against him. “I - I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Don’t worry, birthday boy.” Yunho said, handing him a bottle of lube.

 

They were both exhausted from the concert, but their arousals throbbed. Changmin had to have this bunny. NOW.

 

He pushed Yunho onto his stomach on the bed and eased down those velvet red pants. With lubed up fingers, he fingered the other well to make sure the fucking won’t pain his lover the next day. Yunho pushed back against his fingers. “Changmin, enough! I’m not a girl, just take me!”

 

What bunny want, bunny gets. Changmin slicked up his cock and slid it effortlessly into the pliant man underneath him.

 

The young men sighed simultaneously. It’s been almost two months without this sweet relief. Changmin tried to go slow but couldn’t control himself. Yunho only kept encouraging him for more. He stripped the bunny of his over-coat, pressed him into the bed further but keeping that pert ass curved upwards to be pounded properly.

 

Yunho’s cries were muffled by the mattress. Changmin groaned loudly and exploded inside his honey funny bunny. He flopped on the bed face first and laughed hysterically.

 

Turning onto his side with bunny ears haphazardly on his head, Yunho gave a wicked smile. “Happy birthday, Choikang.”

 

The next day was the second day in Niigata. Changmin decided to obstruct Yunho’s childish play with the Bibarui gag. When the fans began a call for the gag, Changmin initiated the first move: he approached Yunho like a zombie*, threw an arm around his victim’s neck from behind and asking softly, “What do you think of me?” in that small ear.

 

Oh now it was Choikang’s turn to have fun! He shocked the hell out of The Jung Yunho. Life was good.

 

He cackled backstage at Yunho’s flustered face. “You could have warned me, Changdol!”

 

“Well, you’ve been warned. Did you really think I was going to stand there and take it for the rest of the tour?” Changmin acted like he was polishing his nails. “Besides, you don’t even know how to do it right.” He stood up and imitated Yunho’s comedic wide eyes and exaggerated rough grab during the gag.

 

Yunho laughed boisterously. “You brat! Come here. I wanna kiss you.”

 

Changmin obliged, letting small, juicy lips nip at his lovingly.

 

 

Eventually, Tohoshinki released a new single, “Still”, which they promoted for several weeks. Changmin completed filming “Fly with Gold”. They made several trips back and forth between South Korea and Japan. Finally, around mid-April 2012, Tohoshinki reached the Tokyo dome as duo. This was so important for the boys. Their families even traveled to Japan to see them.

 

As the show started, Changmin grew excited at the thought of their families watching. He wasn’t the least bit hesitant to do the boy love gag in front of them either. In fact, he upped the sexiness of it to prove something to his own father. Yunho had become relaxed about it by then. The older man would freeze in a cute matchstick pose and wait for the lustful younger man to make his flirtatious moves. It took all of Changmin’s willpower not to bite the long, white neck exposed with the upward tilt of Yunho’s head.

 

During one of their songs, “Still”, the most beautiful thing happened. Bigeast fans dropped their red light sticks and created a white ocean with white light sticks instead.

 

Never had Changmin felt such happiness towards his career than at that moment. It was worth it. The blood, sweat, tears were all worth it. These loyal fans…they made it all worth it. An unnamed emotion pushed him to sing harder, more passionately than ever.

 

When the song ended he looked over at Yunho, who was on the other moving stage-lift, and saw the other man covering his mouth. Changmin wanted to go comfort him.

 

After their last song, “Somebody to Love”, Yunho began a thank you speech. That sweet voice cracked. And so did Changmin’s heart. Tears were glistening in his partner’s eyes. Changmin didn’t cry. He had to be strong for his best friend, who had done the same for him, comforted the youngest so gently, when he broke down on-stage back in 2008.

 

Walking to Yunho, Changmin took his hand and dragged him for long bow with the dancers. He clutched the other’s thin hand tightly and didn’t let go until it became absolutely necessary.

 

Backstage, the Shims and the Jungs moved together as one family to greet and congratulate their boys. Many hugs and kisses and words of praise were exchanged. The younger sisters were mostly gushing and chaffing them about the boy love gag.

 

Changmin’s father stared at him with pride. “I’m so proud of you, son.” Then the older man glanced at Yunho. “You two are good together.”

 

Joy filled Changmin’s heart to hear his father’s approval. Yunho was too occupied talking to everyone at once to hear.

 

“We all agreed,” his father continued. “Just be happy…the both of you. Be conscientious and we’ll support you.”

 

He bowed. “Thank you, father.”

 

Not a word was heard from Yunho in the car ride to the hotel. Once they arrived, the older man stole the shower first. Changmin sank onto the couch, still in a daze from the emotional concert.

 

Minutes later, Yunho rushed into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. Confused but too tired to question, Changmin took his turn in the shower.

 

Subsequently, Yunho wasn’t in the bedroom when he finished. His lover was standing on the balcony, still in just a towel. Changmin approached him slowly.

 

Standing closer, he could see tears streaming down the other’s strong profile, lips quivering.

 

“Baby…” Changmin called out while caressing the small of tearful man’s back. He felt two distinct dimples there. All these years it never really registered with him that Yunho has back dimples.

 

Changmin dropped to his knees and placed a kiss on each indentation…pulled back then repeated the action.

 

Yunho gasped for air and spun around quickly. “Everything is hitting me at once. It’s like dam now. I can’t stop!”

 

Gazing up at him, Changmin said beseechingly, “Don’t stop then.”

 

Falling to his knees, Yunho cuddled Changmin in a manner very similar to how he cuddled that ridiculous stuffed deer.

 

“My bambi!” Yunho sobbed, his tears wetting Changmin’s hair. “Dong Bang Shin Ki wouldn’t be here without you. I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you! I love you! I love you…”

 

His lover kept repeating those words and crying. The younger man forced himself to stay limp until his partner’s sobbing turned into soft sniffles.

 

Pulling way, he laid Yunho’s head on his lap to watch as fatigue lulled his lover to sleep with tears cooling on those ruddy cheeks.

 

Tilting his own head back against the balcony wall, Changmin succumbed to the weariness overtaking his body; his eyes gradually closed. Laying a hand over Yunho’s steadily beating heart, Changmin breathed out two simple words like a prayer.

 

“My hyung.


End file.
